Not sure what to do

[stwcooper]

Hello. My name is steven and I am 27 yeard old. I have a 6 year old daughter of whom I havent seen since she was three. My childs mother didnt know how to be loyal so I left her and she took my little girl and moved all the way across the state to panama city and sheforbids me to see her.

She says that she doesnt want me in Kayleighs life but I am ordered to pay child support of 330$ a month and I am being kept from seeing her. There is no custody case or visitation so she is doing what she wants it seems. I am in college fulltime about to grafuate with my bachelors degree and working on my masters and while doing so I currently live with my parents whom are christian based.

I would like to get help as to the point to where my daughter can be part of my family since she has been kept from me her ehole life almost. I wasnt always the greatest boyfriend to her mother, people have issues they deal with, but I was a great dad while my little girl was with me. I am in good standings with my life, no trouble, drug free, and working on a career but my ex is living a dream and not providing like she should for my daughter.

She wrote me on social media last week demanding I pay her money but she denied me to see my daughter for christmas. I need some help please!! I was cheated on and so I broke it off but now im the bad guy and cannot see my child and pay outrageous amounts of childsupport when I am a fulltime college student not a fulltime employee. I would very much appreciate anything that can be done. Thank you.

<edited for readability by SPARC Admin>

[ocean]

You are in Florida? In the US?
Go to the courts that ordered your child support and ask them for paperwork to file for a visitation plan. This is a parenting plan on who gets the child on what days/times. It is usually free or small fee to file these papers in court. Then you will get a court date to go and hash out which days you get.

You need to be paying something in child support. Child needs a shelter and food and it costs money. Get a few part time jobs to support child and yourself. Is the child support order through the courts? Your check should be garnished and sent to state and they pay her. You do not have to pay anything more than what the court order states. If you can not keep up with payments, you can file modification of child support papers (same way as above) and tell judge why you can not keep up with payments and ask it to be lowered. This is usually hard to prove if nothing has changed since court (job/school).

Try to send a registered letter to mom asking when you can meet child in a public place at first. You have not see child in a while so see if she is willing to meet you somewhere for an hour or two (library? mcdonalds? fun place for kids?). This will show you tried to contact mom in court if she refuses.

[MixedBag]

Exactly that.

[Kent]

If she agrees to meet, try and scope out a location that has a CCTV. Just for your protection, so she can't claim after the visit that you behaved inappropriately.
Kent!

[stwcooper]

Yes I am in florida and I do pay child support 330$ a month. I was just stating that she wants more money outside of anything that she gets from me through child support. She is unwilling to meet and let me see my child. That is why I came to this site looking for any extra advice

[MixedBag]

the advice is normally -- "Follow the order" -- and that goes for both sides of the issue -- Child Support and Parenting Time (Visitation).  SO....follow the order for CS and pay through the court system if possible, not directly to her.  And if there is no time that's defined where the CHILD is with you, then file for that with the court and ask that time be established.

[ocean]

Does she say what the extra money is for? You do not have to pay anything over what is court ordered but she can go back and ask for increase or to include daycare/activities. Most parents split these costs BUT it is court ordered. So do not pay anything more than what is court ordered unless you WANT to (as a gift). And if you do, pay the place directly.

Same advice as below. Go to the family court and ask them for the visitation paperwork. Bring your old court papers with you, it has important case numbers on it. They will set up a court date so you have exact times with child. Look online for parenting plans. Make sure you have child birthday, your birthday, Halloween, father's day, few weeks in summer, school holidays. How far away is she from you? Call child's school, ask how you can be involved. Ask for her school records (in writing , use paper from this site). Call/email teacher about school events. You can go to any public event. You can not take child but can watch her at school perform, field day, volunteer for PTA functions. This is something you can do AFTER meeting child a few times. Be involved. You do not need the mother to be involved once child is in school. Go to teachers and coaches for schedules.

[Waylon]

I agree with what Kent says, and I would DEFINITELY video the exchange or meeting. Use a phone or get a bodycam but video these exchanges to protect yourself.

If she agrees to meet, try and scope out a location that has a CCTV. Just for your protection, so she can't claim after the visit that you behaved inappropriately.
Kent!