Does anyone know....???

[Detter D]

Does anyone know my chances of the court allowing my seventeen year old son to change his residence to mine from his mother?

He and his mother have continually been at each other and emotionally,
he is a wreck....His marks have plumitted and yesterday he came to
my door with his clothes and said he is not going back......

I welcome him with open arms, but I am wondering the legalities of
this....the police came to my door, (assuming that his mother sent
them to get him)....just asked if he was here, and asked if we had
joint custody, and I said we do,,,,,and they left without my son.....

What are my next steps,,,,,He definately wants to be here,,,but also
know the complexes of the court system....

His mother said she is going to court Monday......

[mistoffolees]

Your next step would be to file for custody. However, if the mother is going to court, you'll have a chance to defend yourself and ask for custody. If your description is accurate, you should be able to get physical custody.

I would suggest that you talk to an attorney to see what the options are.

[Davy]

In my humble opinion, any decent court anywhere would cooperate whenever a reasonable young man or woman of that age let their feet do the walking to make a rational choice for their own good.

Their testimony, perhaps in open court but probably one-on-one with the judge in chambers, will carry substantial weight.  As long as your hands are clean .. no coaching or creating turmoil / interference with mom there should not be any problems.  The need to change school system or the presence of other siblings may cause concern with the court.  

Neither you or your son should FEAR the court system.  In fact, the mother may think twice before going to court.  The court may consider the mother to be off her rocker for challenging this young man in this manner.  Afterall, he could be a combat soldier on foreign soil in less than a year.  

Most important to this situation is that you should not be BLINDED by the reason (not getting along with the other parent) you think this change is happening.  

In short, your son may be attempting to ESCAPE a personal situation directly unrelated to the other parent and it may be something so troubling or disgusting that he is ashamed to speak about.

[backwardsbike]

Good advice already.  Good luck with your son.  IMHO- the court will not make a child of that age be where they don't want to be- no matter the reason.  But Ihtink parents need to be aware tha often, especailly in contentious custody cases, kids are given very firm limits.  Each parent is often afraid of "losing" the child to the other parent.  So when kids hit the skids with one parentt hey run to the other only to be followed by the same interpersonal problem that caused the original conflict.

If you are aware- you stand an excellent chance fo helping your son thru something like that if it exists.  Good luck to both of you.

[Detter D]

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ADVISE.....I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO ANOTHER 'COURT' SESSION.....BUT THIS TIME IT IS A DIFFERENT
....NOT FIGHTING FOR JOINT CUSTODY....BUT HAVING MY SON
WANTING TO LIVE WITH ME....

ALSO, KNOWING THAT PERHAPS THIS MIGHT BE A TEMPORARY
SITUATION,,,,BUT TRUELY HOPE THAT HE CAN STAY WITH ME
AND GET OUT OF THE HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT.

HIS MOTHER IS GOING TO COURT TOMORROW MORNING, SO WE WILL
SEE WHAT THIS HOLDS.....JUST WANT MY SON TO BE IN A
CALM AND LOVING ENVIRONMENT.

THANKS AGAIN...I'M SURE YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN AFTER
COURT.....

[Detter D]

jUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE WHO GAVE ADVISE AND COUNSEL....
MY EX HAS FILED 'CONTEMPT' PAPERS, AND I FILED FOR PHYSICAL
CUSTODY OF MY SON....WE WILL SEE ON JUNE 28 THE RESULTS OF
BOTH OF THESE FILINGS......

I AM JUST GOING TO TELL THE JUDGE TO TALK TO MY SON....HE
WILL TELL YOU WHY HE WANTS TO LEAVE AND WANTS TO LIVE WITH ME......AND I AM GOING TO BE THERE FOR HIM.....

HE SAID IF THEY MAKE HIM GO BACK, HE WILL COME BACK TO MY
DOOR AGAIN.....AND AGAIN.....

WISH ME LUCK......FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A VERY LONG TIME, I FEEL     MY SON IS ON THE RIGHT TRACK.....EMOTIONALLY, AND
ACADEMICALLY,......I ONLY HOPE THE COURT FEELS THE SAME.