Worried about child

[MixedBag]

rules about talking to a GAL?  There are none -- normally they are an attorney -- but the rules of evidence that apply to presenting evidence in court do not apply.

Answer honestly and back up everything you say with independent evidence -- like a piece of paper or pictures.  See, the paper might be hard to get into court, but you can show it to the GAL.  For example, if the police department writes a report, you have to have the officer in court to testify that they wrote it.  But you can hand it to the GAL.

[dipper]

Okay.   And what about being open about the other parent?  I mean as long as you are being factual - she would call every day son was at work for us to come and take care of baby or get baby.  Not....she was lazy! 

[MixedBag]

got a phone bill to show how often she calls and what time of day it would have been?  Back everything you say -- or as much as you can -- with paperwork.

You can't simply say "She called at 2 am" -- show your phone log on your phone or your phone bill with all the calls listed.  And then the 2 am will be proven, and the "she called" believed" ....even though you can't prove exactly what was said.  Does that make sense?

[ocean]

We gave GAL:
Pictures
Texts and emails that mother sent to us
Let her listen to voicemails
Showed kids report cards

You can give GAL:
Number to that family member and cousin who was forced to babysit
Texts and emails (never talk to her on phone and if you do, send a text/email after stating what was decided in that email)
Voicemails
Age of child should play here so GAL should be coming to your house so may not need so many pictures. We had the picture books ready to go and ask if she wanted to look through them.

Do NOT say anything bad about mother. Just say a child should have both parents in their life but we want XX in a safe environment and lately with the phone calls from her side of the family concerns us deeply. We will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

Son and you need to keep cool. You moved to fast with last incident. You need to catch her, do not tell anyone of plans to call CPS/Police. Best scenario is to go to her local police, state what is happening at that moment and ask them to go with you to check in child.

Keep cool with court, police, mother, family members. You want evidence. Find out taping laws in your state and tape her on the phone discussing some of this. Some states you just have to inform them that any and all conversations from this point forward may be taped. Some you do not have to tell them. Also, if she is there for pick ups, tape the exchanges even if it is a phone in your pocket and audio. A GAL can listen to tapes even if it is not allowed at trial.

[dipper]

Ocean - I agree about moving too fast by calling police the other day.  In fact, my husband had told my son not to. My husband was going to follow attorney's advice and go over there and say he was in the area....to see if it was true.  I have no plans to call CPS.  I have had some suspicions with the relative. She hinted that 'anyone can call CPS and remain anonymous'.  I replied that I could not call CPS because I have not seen any of what she is telling me. 


I do believe the relative that is telling us this stuff, but that does me no good.  No proof at all.  I do have a fb message from her to my son when she first made contact and she gave him her phone number.  I have texts coming from that phone number stating some of what she has told us - and that instigated the events the other day.


As for when the mother was still with my son, we were able to go as far back as June and highlight dates we had the child and have a slew of fb posts that she made about being sick.  In the past 10 months we kept the child the majority of the time all but 2 months.   And then it was very close....there were months we kept the child a good 75% of the time.


I do know the mother had a best friend that has went through the same situation and must have provided a lot of good tips.  The mom rarely puts anything on fb anymore, doesn't fuss during exchanges anymore and will not put anything in writing in texts. 


Even today after all the drama the other day, she came over to our van and was all chit chatty. 


We do not have a GAL yet.  We go to court  Tuesday. 

[ocean]

She may be taping you at exchanges too (cell phone in pocket can pick up audio).

You can ask that she not drive child until she gets a doctor letter stating she can drive with seizure (seizure meds). If she had a confirmed seizure you can not drive in my state for a year. Focus on the safety of child not on her being a "bad" mother.

If any other issues come up, use the police for a welfare check on child. You do not want to be showing up at her house or you will be dealing with restraining orders next.

Good luck on Tues, let us know what happens.

[MixedBag]

ditto -- good luck on Tuesday -- and let us know how it goes.

[dipper]

Thank you - that is why my son called the police - for a welfare check-up.  Our attorney had suggested going there, but I can see how she would quickly use that against us.  In fact, the last time she was in hospital it was icy and cold and she wanted us to drive out late at night.  My son asked if they could come by here..she said, 'No, I am not coming to  your house and you are not coming to mine."   We did not take the child out late that night...which is why she is demanding in the new order we return child immediately with no questions.


She probably is taping which is why she is so nice at meetings no matter how hateful she has been on phone.  She used to start arguments but in the past couple of months is sweet as sugar during exchanges. 

[ocean]

How did it go today?

[MixedBag]

was thinking the same.....keep checking and hoping for an update.