how to terminate guardianship???

[Boogersmomma]

My mother and her husband were awarded guardianship on my son back in 2011. The judge told me that this didn't have to be permanent, and I still retain my parental rights. The judge also told my "parents" that he expects them to do the right thing. From that day on, visits at my place stopped, visits at their house became hostel, and phone conversations became far and few between. They haven't answered the phone to me in approximately 2 years, messages go urned. This situation was suppose to be only temporary, until I got my life back on track following a job loss. I now work for a Fortune 500 company, and have for the past 3 years. I last spoke with my mother at the beginning of last summer at her job. She was going to terminate the guardianship upon doing a home visit to make sure all was good. Needless to say, I was never able to get back in touch with her. I called her job again. in the fall and was told she no longer worked there. The main reason they were granted guardianship was because they had the means and the necessities to do so and I didn't at the time. I also have discovered that they failed to complete the a status report last year, and this year's report is due next week. I've contacted attorneys regarding the denied contact and I'm pretty much told they can do whatever they want, and if I want to file to terminate guardianship, it'll start at $1400. I just don't have that kind of money. Is there anyone out there that had dealt with this kind of situation before?

[ocean]

I am not sure I understand...
1. Where is child now?
2. You want to terminate guardianship and take child from them to live with you full time?
3. When was the last time you had contact with child?
4. How old is child?

[Boogersmomma]

I apologize for skipping around the main point.

1. My son is currently with my mother and step father.

2. Yes, I want to terminate the guardianship and have him back in my custody.

3. The last time I was allowed to see him at their house was Sept. 8, 2012, but I was able to see him at my stepmother's Christmas of the same year. The last time I was able to talk to him over the phone was Oct. 2, 2012. They screen every call before answering, I've left messages and they do not return them. They quit allowing me to have him on the weekends, and when I made arrangements to visit, her husband would become hostile, causing an argument or yelling at me with my son in my arms, which in turn would cause my son to cry.

4. My son turned 10 last August.  Every year I get him birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, an Easter basket, and Valentines. And every year I'm my calls go ignored and I end up having to mail them a few weeks late.

I just don't understand how they can legally do this. I haven't been invited to a family get together since the summer of 2011, and she (my mother) used to always inform me and attempt to work with schedule. Thank you so much in advance for any advice you might have.

[ocean]

Ok, do you have any visitation through the courts at all?

You will not be able to just to terminate their guardianship. Child has not seen you in over 2 years and you can not expect child to just come live with you. There needs to be a phasing in schedule and see how things go from there. Depending on what court paperwork you have, we can assist you further. You can go back to that court and file for visitation with your child. It would be set up on certain days and times , away from their home. Depending on the situation on why you could not see child (drugs?) it may start out as supervised visits to prove yourself. Then slowly be increased to unsupervised, then overnights, longer weekends....

You can also get some info from school but really keep in mind that you do not want to scare child at first. Call the school and ask who the teacher is. Ask for copies of school records. Talk to teacher. Ask if there are any events that you can go to (Field day, school trip or picnic). Parents are allowed to go to events but you will not be able to sign child out of school after.

If you do have visitation written in a court order, then you can file for contempt of court as they are not allowing the visitation.

If you know their address, send them a registered letter (dont have to sign buy proves the mailman delivered it). Something simple:
Hi,
I am writing to let you know I really miss xx and want to reconnect with him. I am asking when is a good day/time to meet at a public place (Mcdonals, Public Library? Park?). Please call me at xxx.
Thank you.

Then see...if no response, send another letter and add "I really do not want to get the courts involved but will as xx is my son and would like to have the opportunity to be in his life".

This will show the courts you are trying (registered letters) to communicate and they are refusing to at least call you.

Please keep your son's best interest at heart. This will take months/years to get it to where you want it to be if ever. Child is 10, in school, has friends and lived his life while you got your life together.

[MixedBag]

And while I agree with Ocean as to how this might be accomplished -- I want to say that what they did is horrendous....no child nor parent should experience this.

[Boogersmomma]

Thanks for the response(s), and I do appreciate your suggestions, but I feel that I have given out the impression that I do not care about my child, have lost interest, or that he has interrupted my "life", and that couldn't be any further from the truth. I want nothing more than my child back. I feel I need to tell the whole, complete situation, as lengthy as it might be, in hopes that there is an outsider who can possibly see what I see. Otherwise, I'll forever be looked at, judged, and portrayed as the kind of person/parent who chooses men, drugs, money, "life", etc. over her child. So, again I apologize for the lengthyness, but I must.
The beginning... I've been a single mother since my son was 2 yrs old (his father went to prison, and it was honestly the best thing that could of happened, because I now know I did not have the strength and courage, nor the support, to leave him), before then I hadn't worked all that much, at least to the extent of working to support one's self. So as sad as it may be, but it is the reality of the fact, I didn't really know what to do the day he went to prison. I just remember crying for days on end, without having a clue as to what to do, where to go, or how to even start. I didn't know what to do about anything, for everything. My mother eventually allowed my son and I to move in, but not without her husband having made it perfectly clear that he was completely against it. (He and I haven't gotten along ever since I was 13 and he requested inappropriate things of me [no need for details, there's other forums for that], I believe that day shaped the rest of my life). The entire time we stayed at her house, her husband had nothing to do with my son, he wouldn't feed him, hold him, nothing. I found the reasoning behind it more bothersome then the action itself. Honestly, I didn't want him touching my child, but him saying he didn't want to get close to him because he knew one day I would lose him, was like a knife carving out the scar on my heart he had created back when I was 13. Pure evil in that man, I'd swear to it.
During the 10-11 months we were there, my father gave me a car, I enrolled into college (Criminal Justice, nonetheless), and I worked full- time at a well-known high volume animal shelter. Within 2 months of my employment, I was offered a job at an animal hospital (my true passion). While working both jobs, I found there wasn't enough time to spend with my son and still attend school, so I let the school thing go. 3 months into working both jobs, 72+ hours a week, my mother approached me and informed me it was time for me to go spread my wings as a single mother living on her own. And I did. And it worked, for about 3 years.  Within a 2 week time period, the doctor I worked for sold his practice to another doctor who wanted his own techs and my car got totaled (thru no fault of my own). No car, no job, no money, eventually that equals no home, and it did. Luckily, right before that I was able to purchase another car, either with money from the small settlement I received when my car was totaled, or my income taxes, I'm not sure which. For the next month, my son and I go to one friend's house to the next, just trying to survive, until one night there was no more friends. I drive to the park close to my mother's and let my son play. Once the sun went down I knew it was over, there was no other choice. I called my mom....
It worked for awhile. My son started kindergarten shortly after moving in, again (again, as in moving in, not starting kindergarten), I got a job. All seemed well, until one day I got a call, my father had had a heart attack.  Was told it was a fluke, that the doctors expect him to live a long life. My world came crashing down upon hearing that. My father and my son are my everything. A couple weeks went by and I attended a child's bday party one day and a long time friend of mine was telling me about her house she and a friend were renting, they were looking for another roommate or two. I didn't really think much about it until about a week later when my mom asked me to meet her at McDonalds after work. She, again, informed me that it just wasn't working, (to this day, I still honestly don't know the reason). My son and I move in with my friend, except I refused to place my child into the school in the district we now lived in. So everyday on my way to work I would drop my son off with my mom so he could go to the same school he started at. Needless to say, I got laid off soon after moving in the house. After a week without having a job, and not having luck finding another one, I went over to my mother's and said to her that I only see a few options at this moment. 1) I could transfer my son to the school where we live (not an option in neither of my parents eyes), and live off gov't assistance until I find another job.  OR  2) Ask you (my mother) to allow my son to stay there so he may remain in that school until I am able to regain employment and maintain  the adequate means to support him.
I had him every weekend, we talked on the phone almost every night. I know this isn't ideally the definition of "normal" but for a lack of better words, everything seemed normal. I was actively seeking employment, I was maintaining a relationship with my family, I was doing everything, to my knowledge, the right way.  Then 2 months later, on a Friday morning, I'm brought the phone. The person tells me that my father, while in the line of duty, had had an emergency and the responding unit (his own station) was unsuccessful at resuscitation. I lost it, and I mean completely lost it. I did eventually seek out help, but before doing so, I kinda lost my way. And I'm not referring to drugs or alcohol, that's a past that's long behind me but will forever be held against me. I'm referring to a deep, dark depressive state. And matters only got worse. My attempts to reach out for family support were pretty much shrugged off, like 'everyone's got problems, tuck that lip in and move on'. I was served with papers about 5-6 weeks after my dad's passing, the date shows she had filed the following week. He was the only one truly on MY side, he promised me he wasn't gonna let anything happen. (My bro told my stepmom that my stepdad said he was going to put my son up for adoption if he and my mom got custody cause they're done raising kids). When I got served, I picked him up for our regular weekend visit, I called her that Sunday night and said I wasn't bringing him back. Afterall, he's still my child. He was enrolled in school out here the next day, and we were both once again happy and whole. For 3 months he was with me, and she only called one time, asking if he could spend the weekend with them, playing nice. The day arrived to go to court and I was completely unprepared and caught off guard. I had no idea the court proceedings went that way. No attorney, no evidence, no chance. Every piece of evidence used against me was either hearsay or from way back before I was a mother.  The guardianship was granted and I, again, lost another male who owned part of my heart. From that day on (she said this to me), he wasn't going past the end of the driveway with anybody. Visiting with him inside their house became interrupted, uncomfortable, and hostile at times. Suddenly she had more important things he had to do when I would call, to eventually no longer answering the phone at all and not allowing him to call me. Invites to family functions, get togethers, his own birthday, no longer happen. A few family members update me from time to time....his grades are declining, he's been suspended off the bus, developing behavioral issues, caught on camera stealing and when shown the video he denied it was him.  There was a wedding in the family on my dad's side last summer, my brother was told he couldn't take my son with him because he's on punishment, and not allowed to have fun. That unless it involved manual labor, he wasn't going anywhere or doing anything. He was 9 yrs old.
So in conclusion, I've started gathering information, building a case you'd might say, info on my mom's husband (there's some pretty bad stuff), my son's father, and his significant other, even getting info on me and mine, cause if I can find it, so can they. Any input, suggestions, advice, experience, any and all of that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for taking time out to read and reply.

[ocean]

What does the guardianship papers say about your visits? Anything?

[Boogersmomma]

I never received any paperwork, only the ones I was served with

[ocean]

Ok, first:
Call that court you went to for the hearing and ask them where you can go and request copies of the final paperwork. You may have to pay a copying fee but you need to know what you even have through the courts. Once you get those papers, post here again. You may have visitation already ordered.

I understand you want to tell you story but that is not how family court works. Child has been in a school/home for over 2 years without you regardless of the reasons. NO COURT will pull a child and hand you custody right away. This is going to take time (months/years) to sort out if you can not get to your mother and it has to go through the courts.

Find out what you have and then there is different ways to handle it depending on those papers.
What did they say at that hearing you went to? They had you give child to mom and not talk about if/when you see child?

[Boogersmomma]

Thank you, finally a starting point. I'm not sure how much of a difference this makes, but it's not thru family court, it's in Probate.