Back to Court

[dipper]

Thank you Ocean.  In our case, our attorney told the judge what the changes to the original order were and the judge made notes on the original order.  Then he told my attorney to type up the order, send it to her attorney and then forward to him for his signature.   I am just frustrated that they refuse to respond at all but want to follow anything that gave them extra. 


I do not want to get in trouble at all, but that one day we gave up really is huge to us.  If they don't want to be cooperative and actually get this as a signed order, seems it is not as important to them.  They are stalling for a reason.  As of tomorrow, it will be one month they have had the order and no response at all to our attorney.


I am definitely going to follow your advice! 

[MixedBag]

Ocean....if dipper has an attorney to represent them, they can't just go in and file themselves and do anything themselves.

they have to "fire" that attorney and then it can be done that way.

So I respectfully disagree with that piece.

Dipper -- which order is more advantageous to your situation -- new or old?

What does the new order do for Dad?

What does the new order do for Mom?

That's how you play it -- you figure out what Mom wants in the new order and tell her "She can't have it" until it's signed IN an order. 

[ocean]

Yeah, I thought dipper understood that part but yes, you would need to fire your lawyer for now and can rehire in the future if needed. Some lawyers play that game to save people money and allow the person to do a lot on their own to save money.

[dipper]

Thank you both for clarifying that.  I did understand that he would not be representing me, but I had not really thought of it as firing him.   


The old order is actually more to our advantage.  We gave a little to reach an agreement without a big battle.   In the original order, child has the three of us versus the mother.   All hospitalization is spent with us.   


New order will contain three of us versus the mother and maternal grandmother.  It does allow for two days to the maternal grandmother to take child to hospital (which we had allowed anyway).  We also allowed one extra day per month with the mother as a make-up time for time missed with hospitalizations.  Didn't like it, but in February we had child 19 out of 28 days so it seemed reasonable.   All of this I felt they could realistically get from the judge anyway.  If the mother actually does her treatments, she does not have to go to the hospital as much...and sure enough, she is taking better care of her health which means she gets an extra day and we are not getting extra time for hospitalizations.  But, that is subject to change at any time.


The one thing I am worried about in filing myself concerning this order is - I will not have proof of how often my attorney has tried to contact her attorney to get this resolved.   I am actually thinking of telling her that I will take it back to court and be seeking reimbursement for my lawyer fees for this part. 

[MixedBag]

so strategically -- it's in Mom's better interest to get the new order signed.

I agree that IF this needs to go back to court to get an order, then mom needs to pay for those fees and that you should ask for them.

But again, strategically -- the new order makes minor changes in mom's favor.

Honestly, I think if I understand this all correctly, I'd sit tight and hang loose and follow the old order.

What was the reason for filing in the first place?  Did dad get anything "changed" that HE (and you two) wanted?

What is mom doing that's against the potential new order?

OR is the bottom line that you want the new order signed because Mom may want to go back AGAIN for more time?

Ocean you have a PM....in a second.

[Davy]

OK I think I'm beginning to understand this thread.

Dipper is the itsey bitsey spider.  "The itsey bitsey spider went up the waterspout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun and dried up all the rain.  The itsey bitsey spider went up the spout again !!!".

I surmise that Dipper and family are trying desperately to negotiate "agreements" with an opposer(s) under the auspicies of "joint custody" because that is what "joint" demands and is a way to keep this father in the child's life at this time and forever.  The emphasis being it is best for the child that this happens.

Of course we are not familiar with the practices and policies of the system Dipper is operating in but I have always understood that a licensed attorney is an "officer of the court" and therefor requires a motion to the court for approval / disapproval  to dismiss from a case.  Reseach your state statues accordingly and try to to use the same generalized verbage in a written or oral motion.  Some prose' advocates would retain someone from the "Young Attorneys association" to blend into the court room then stand to announce representation replacement with a secret motion (ie wetting your lips, wiggling your ears or nostrils).  Try to exclude the large middle finger in any gesture since it has universally accepted connotations.   

Also, you may determine it appropriate to submit a hand written "order" (basically prepared in advance ) to the court for signature in real time after prevailing on your "Motion to Quash" the current order. I suspect a "pleading" for attorney fees (current or new) would be best obtained at a subsequent hearing from the matters at hand.

Just a note.  I (and others) would carry along Supreme Ct rulings governing self representation just in case a judge or officer of the court got testy.

Hope this helps.  And Dipper thanks for helping others over many years.  Best to your family. 

[dipper]

Okay, yesterday was an emotional day.   I decided to call the court and ask if we could get a copy of the judge's notes.  As our attorney had explained to him the changes in the original order, the judge had scribbled notes on it, so I thought this may help.  The clerk did not tell me if I could get that or not, but she told me that early last week an attorney involved in the case stating that there had been a problem with an exchange; things were not working out and the order had not even been signed yet and wanted it back on the docket.  This could only have been her attorney.  The clerk had not put it on the docket as no formal request was received as to a date and no paperwork has been received at all.  The clerk noted "we still have not received any type of agreement from that court date."


I called my attorney's office - of course he was not in, but the assistant did not know anything about it.  I waited and then I called the mother and calmly stated that I had heard they were taking the matter back to court and were not in agreement with what had been decided.....since they were not in agreement and nothing had been signed by a judge, we would no longer honor that agreement from April (as stated in court). This would mean that during her full week, child would be returned on Saturday and not Sunday.  The mother affirmed they were going back to court and just said okay to the rest.


Well, 30 minutes later I got a call from our attorney's office.  The assistant said he had called in and stated that he got the order earlier this week SIGNED by the other side.  I don't know if he had opened it, or this is what her attorney told him.  He actually spoke with her yesterday and she said they had considered going back to court and then changed their minds, and signed the order.  They say their is one 'small' change. 


We do not know what this change is or if we will be in agreement.  We go Tuesday.  So even though we have been very concerned with it all.....our attorney just had not had time to call us or tell his assistant to let us know it had been received.


This morning, my sons took the child to the exchange.  The mother called and asked son if we were bringing child back because I had said we would not bring her until Sunday.  Totally false.....I have no idea how she came up with that one. 


I am disgusted with attorneys period....