My son is being hit by Moms Boyfriend

[mak3535]

I have 2 boys 6 & 8.  I have joint legal custody with the Mom having parent of primary residence.  My son has stated that mommys BF has hit him in the past.  This past weekend he came with me and stated he was hit , but this time he was bruised.  DYFS states it was only an isolated incident and will no longer be pursuing the case and let them off with a warning.  Police recommend that I don't file charges against Mom's BF because it will cause more harm in the long run for my son.  My son who was hit is 8.  When asked if he is afraid of Mommys BF he just states 'I don't know'.  When asked if he wants mommys BF gone he states 'YES'.  My son also stated that Mom & BF told him that Mommy can get into a lot of trouble and that he might never see her again if he continues to tell people what happened.  I am so lost and confused.  I feel as the police & DYFS could care less about what happened to my son.  Do I have any further action that I can take.  The day I found out I took my son to the pediatrician and had it documented what happened as well as took pictures of his bruise.  Please help!!!
Sad & upset in NJ!

[ohu812]

I have been going through this for five years with my ex. You are doing the correct thing. Document everything,take pictures,call DYFS, and very good on going to the pediatrician. It took me three years of doing all of that to finally get custody of my BD. It is okay that DYFS isnt persuing further. Sounds like they substantiated it but used a "safety plan" and then closed the case. That will happen a lot but the more reports they get the more action they will take. I have learned they dont have to remove the children but they will be used in court if you end up there. It shows that there is concern and if it continues a pattern. I live in Texas and it is very easy to modify orders and get no contact with child by boyfriend. It is not so easy if they get married. It is up to you on modification. I know have custody but this has continued with ex and two more boyfriends. She gets a little slap on hand and boyfriends get excluded but she drags in more. Definately document,take pictures,and report anything. Start talking to your child about honesty dont let the crap of keeping secrets start. You can counteract mom by stating if your mom makes good choices then you still get to see her.

[infiniti_73]

You may want to go at this from another angle...does the b/f live with the mom?  i know in our state (KY) there is an old law on the books that says that the custodial parent shall not have live-ins and will not entertain company past the children's bed time.  Therefore, effectively you can go to an attorney and tell them you want the b/f out.  You will have to take it from there.  I don't know anything about what happens after that....we have not gotten that far.  We have never been faced with an actual "hitting" incedent but the live-in in my case has spanked the child so hard with a belt that it left a bruise.  
Good luck to you!