ExWife trying to move away with children

[my_two_guys]

First off thanks for this forum. Its been a good resource.

Here is my story. I have been happily divorced for almost 4 years, separated for over 5. I have remarried and have an amazing wife and a beautiful family. My ex and I share joint legal and residential custody of my two boys, 8 and 4 (we were divorced shortly after he was born). When I got divorced I moved about 60 miles north to Cleveland to be closer to my work. My ex decided that she wanted to move north as well since the boys could be with their parents together. Currently we live about 2 miles apart in the same school district and have for the last 3.5 years. My oldest has cub scouts, karate, and school all in this community. I have my sons every Mon-Wed eve, Fri-Sun every other weekend. So technically I have them more than her. 

My ex recently started dating a guy who lives about 85miles away. She informed me today that she is planning to move in with this guy next summer and she is taking the boys with her. This will essentially nullify the schedule we have now as I will not be able to be part of their lives during the school year since they will be almost an hour and half from my house. EDIT: I forgot to add that my ex's new beau does NOT have any children of his own.

What are my options? I have just contacted an attorney but I am doing my own research too.

[MixedBag]

There are others who have gone through this as well.

Normally the answer to your EX is "Fine you move, and I will ask the court to allow the boys to stay in the environment that they know and they'll still get to see you often."

Since she's talking next summer -- I'm not sure I'd do anything via a court now.....but if she were talking in 6 months....I'd probably recommend filing something with the court that says the above.  Let her move....kids stay with you.

[my_two_guys]

That is the plan so far. I just have an initial consult with an attorney to discuss the case. I want to wait until my son starts school in 4 weeks so that she doesn't just try and move. I can't believe she actually thinks this is going to be ok to do.

[Justabovewater]

 I have gone through the same deal. Like stated above, I would not worry much about court right now, But I would start getting prepared. Keep in mind, Don't wait to long, if you do, they could already be moved and living there before you go to court. 1) Do all that you can for your children, The Judge is most likely to make a decision based on two things. Who is the primary care giver of the children and What is in the best interest of the children. 2) Document everything. If you can communicate VIA Email, Text or chat, that is the best way to show proof of your point when you get ready to go to court. 3) Do not underestimate the other parent, If she is planning on moving already, Don't be surprised in the next few months you get a letter saying that she is moving in a week.  Best of Luck to you.

[Davy]

Of course you know your Ex best but, like Justabovewater, I suggest you proceed with caution and get a clear definition of "next summer".  For example, she may have told you on June 20 and the official 1st day of summer is June 21 so to her "next summer" is NOW and gee whiz golly since you did not complain thought you were supportive of the relocation so she moved with the kids on July 25 ...  have a nice life. 

I'm remembering a Contempt hearing for Denial of Visitation.  In a previous hearing she lied and told the court she never knew when I was going to show up (850 miles) even though I showed on time every time for a period of months.  Anyway, the court ordered me to provide "three days" written notice via certified mail for every court orderd date.  At the next hearing 6 months (or more) later the judge said to her that he had documented proof that I had complied with the court and asked her "why are you not allowing this father visit his kids ? "  Her response ... drum roll please ... "judge your order said three days written notice and most the time I got four days notice".  The judge just lowered his head and dismissed the motion ... and that was that. 

Maybe more later ... it gets much worse.   Wait much much much worse.

[dadstyle]

You did not mention who has status as Residential Custodian for School Purposes.  One parent is supposed to be designated as such but it does not always happen.

Look at the Ohio Revised Code at what a judge should be looking for and the necessary events to change custody 3109.04; attachment to community will be your friend.  You did not mention extended family which can also be used to anchor the kids, the more roots in your community the better off it will be.  As already said document everything: schedules with the kids (Time Tracker that used to be on here is awesome), phone calls, events etc.  I try to keep 2 logs; 1 that is strictly factual and will possibly be turned over as part of the discovery process and 1 as "my personal journal" which has more detail where necessary (and I can rant all I want because nobody else will ever see it).  Make sure you are friends with the school staff so they can/will keep you abreast of any sudden movements/mistakes the mother may make.

I am also in Ohio and going thru the move away mother that thinks it is necessary to disrupt our 10yo child's life, I am RCSP.

[superdad01]

If u have legal custody she will need your approval to remove them from school etc. I would be very proactive in this situation. Much harder for you to fight it after the fact. I went through the same situation. In my case once my ex found out I was getting what I wanted in court she tried moving 90 miles away  to prevent it. We was also in the same city etc.

[my_two_guys]

Hi all, sorry I have not updated in while. I have retained a great atty, we are currently filing a RO and MTM and going for there. I am looking for three things:

1) Get the past 3 years of "status-quo" into the agreement. This gives me the Boys Mon-Wed at 630pm and EOW with Sundays on weekend being overnight. It ends up being a modified 5/5/2/2 plan

2) Anchor my boys to the school district as long as one parent lives here.

3) Change of primary residential to me (this one might be a reach). I am willing to compromise and state that if one parent moves, the parent that remains automatically becomes the primary.

I meet next tuesday to sign the paperwork.

To answer some of the questions:

• I have joint legal and residential custody
• She has primary residency for school purposes.

[Davy]

You many want to consider a different approach to locking children to a particular school district both for now and in the future. 

Regardless of the custody status think about the children residing within 25 miles of your physical location.