Schooling and Tardiness

[FedUpParents]

I am wondering on suggestions to bring up the matter of tardiness to my son's BM.

This subject has been brought up NUMEROUS times (even in court by the Judge).

The reason I ask is because: My son is in a not so great school now. He was recently accepted into a great charter school for his area. However, they have a VERY strict tardy policy (3 tardies for the year). His new principal has informed me that if she does not get this under control then he will be sent back to his current school.

I live on one side of the US and she lives on the other, so unfortunately I can not take him to school myself .

His Kindergarten year he was absent 16 days and tardy 40.
First Grade he was absent 6 days and tardy 24 times.
This year he luckily only has 2 absences but already has 19 tardies (and the school year isn't even finished!)

Any time I address the issue she, of course, becomes VERY defensive and nasty (even to the judge). I REALLY don't want my son kicked out of this school...can anyone give me some tips on bringing this up ONCE AGAIN and maybe making her see the importance of this. My only other option is to let her shoot herself in the foot and PRAY the courts will reverse the custody arrangement at that time.

[MixedBag]

I'd go with Plan B

[ocean]

Hard to do anything when you are so far away. What is the reason child is late? Is there busing? Is child giving mom a hard time? You could send her a registered letter stating:
Ex,
I was recently notified by xx school that xx has been late xx times this school year. They informed me that if he has anymore lates he will be kicked out of school. This charter school is great for his education and really want him to stay with his friends/school. I will be watching his attendance for the rest of the school year and if he is absent/gets removed from this school, I will be forced to file change of custody papers due to educational neglect. The school has notified both of us of the importance of attendance. I know I am too far to away to help physically in the mornings but if there is anything I can do to help xx get to school on time I am open to suggestions (before care? positive reinforcement if child is giving mom a hard time getting to school- if he is on time xx days , you will send him xx).
Thank you for attending to this important matter.
You

[FedUpParents]

I'd go with Plan B

Honestly, I think that is what it is going to have to boil down to. She is not in good standing with his current school or the charter school for next year (and he hasn't even started there yet!) The judge even warned her about it summer of last year.

[FedUpParents]

Hard to do anything when you are so far away. What is the reason child is late? Is there busing? Is child giving mom a hard time? You could send her a registered letter stating:
Ex,
I was recently notified by xx school that xx has been late xx times this school year. They informed me that if he has anymore lates he will be kicked out of school. This charter school is great for his education and really want him to stay with his friends/school. I will be watching his attendance for the rest of the school year and if he is absent/gets removed from this school, I will be forced to file change of custody papers due to educational neglect. The school has notified both of us of the importance of attendance. I know I am too far to away to help physically in the mornings but if there is anything I can do to help xx get to school on time I am open to suggestions (before care? positive reinforcement if child is giving mom a hard time getting to school- if he is on time xx days , you will send him xx).
Thank you for attending to this important matter.
You

He doesn't ride a bus (since he already goes to school outside of his district. The school for his district is even worse than what he goes to now) The Ex states its because he comes back from the playground late (the school has verified its due to him being dropped off late, nor do they leave the children unattended like that) When I ask him he says it's because of traffic. The Ex leaves the dropping off and picking up to her boyfriend (who just last week forgot to pick him up from school)

[OneMan]

I am wondering on suggestions to bring up the matter of tardiness to my son's BM.

This subject has been brought up NUMEROUS times (even in court by the Judge).

The reason I ask is because: My son is in a not so great school now. He was recently accepted into a great charter school for his area. However, they have a VERY strict tardy policy (3 tardies for the year). His new principal has informed me that if she does not get this under control then he will be sent back to his current school.

I live on one side of the US and she lives on the other, so unfortunately I can not take him to school myself .

His Kindergarten year he was absent 16 days and tardy 40.
First Grade he was absent 6 days and tardy 24 times.
This year he luckily only has 2 absences but already has 19 tardies (and the school year isn't even finished!)

Any time I address the issue she, of course, becomes VERY defensive and nasty (even to the judge). I REALLY don't want my son kicked out of this school...can anyone give me some tips on bringing this up ONCE AGAIN and maybe making her see the importance of this. My only other option is to let her shoot herself in the foot and PRAY the courts will reverse the custody arrangement at that time.

A close friend of mine had a similar situation. I suggested he move to the town where his son and the ex live so that he could monitor this but even more than that so his son would have his father there. He moved. It was hard to get on his feet but he finally did and now his son has his dad and there are no school problems at all. To me it seemed like the best solution. (Side note...the ex wasn't too happy because the ex wanted him out of their son's life so she could start a new life and forget about him. His answer...forget that!)