Trying To Save My Son From The War

[FightingForMyBoy]

     Hi, I've been Dealing with my son's mother(never married)  for four years now and until recently it was amicable. Now she is the return of the blair witch. this is really scary. My son used to spend at least half the week with us but since september he started going to school,I wasn't told where, and now he only spends part of saturday to sunday evening. I suggested a pastor mediate this but now i've been taken to court for child support and have to start paying $700 a month even though i have two children with my wife in addition they are all young and my wife doesn't wife in order to take care of all three of them .I now have temporary visitation 3 weekends a month. i am ticked off what the heck are my rights. His mother is an undocumented immigrant and admits to the court she is unemployed and is currently lodging with an unsavory character. We are due in court in a month and a half because the custody and child support payment are being contested I filed for joint custody and visitation and received this temporary arrangement. i plan to get professional legal advice but is there anything that i should do like immediately to increase the visitation because i do feel like she took my son from me and im being made to pay for it on top of that.

[mistoffolees]

If you have a temporary court order, then there's not much you can do unless you can show imminent harm which could lead to an emergency hearing - but nothing you mention fits that requirement.

Just make sure you have a good attorney who brings up that the status quo was that you had half of every week - but make sure you have evidence to document this.

[Giggles]

But you may want to check into reporting her to immigration?  //www.ICE.gov <- I work for ICE and I stand strong against any ILLEGAL alien.  Anywho.....Do get a lawyer and see if you could file for custody because she is undocumented, unemployed and cannot provide for the child as well as you can?

[FightingForMyBoy]

 Thanks for your response and it is has crossed my mind...  I don't want to be the one to report her but I feel like if that's what it takes to stop this woman then I'll do it. I feel betrayed by a system that gives someone so much power. I've been doing right and I'M  treated like a second class citizen. I WORK SO HARD just for my kids to have  a future. Any help with resources in New York City I'd appreciate. I will consult with a lawyer soon .. Do I really need one to represent me in court though .. I was wondering If I could sit down go over the facts and scenarios ..c ome up with a strategy .. I'm fairly intelligent and can present my argument well.. why I'm asking is not that I don't want to be represented but I need to be frugal.. my wife is a homemaker and we just bought a new home.. and now I need to come up with 700 a month in support.. what if I only pay half of that .. I might be able to pay an attorney..  what are the repercussions..

[FightingForMyBoy]

    Thanks for your reply. I have evidence photos of my son with his sisters at birthdays, family functions, in the house etc... he has clothes, toys, drawings here.. Sworn affadavits from my wife, mother, sister also there was a petition for an order of protection that she filed, which wasn't granted where she states in regard to why no arrests were made is that there was no legal custody. Also she did not dispute my claims in court (she had a court appointed attorney present i self represented) exept o say that he did not spend every weekend with me. I will try to find a good attorney who will work with my now broke behind.... any further evidence i haven't thought of???

[Giggles]

Simply because THAT can be used against you!!  If you can beg and borrow to get an attorney...that is what I suggest you do....but DO NOT withhold CS...that could bite you hard!

The main focus you need to have is on your son.  I see from the other posts that the BM is trying to use the system against you (restraining orders) to me that is just uncalled for and it's easy to say to do the same to her...but every child has the right to equal access to both parents.

Since she isn't working that sorta blows my way of being able to "report" her without actually pointing the finger at "her".  I was going to suggest that you report her employer for hiring "Illegals" but since she doesn't have a job...that route wont work.  Does she drive?  Is she receiving any kind of "State aid"?  You stated that she is living with unsavory characters...do you know what kind of back grounds those individuals have?  Here is a website where you might be able to check up on them....http://www.blackbookonline.info/bbony.htm

I still suggest you get an attorney and see if you can file for custody based on "Best interest of the child".  Since she's Illegal and the latest crack down it would not be in his interest to live with her since she cannot 1...provide for him 2...can be deported if caught 3....you can provide stability 4...have established a good relationship that she is trying to frustrate...etc...

[mistoffolees]

Just be careful. Much of what you cited is not going to be particularly relevant evidence. Courts are reluctant to put much faith in the statement of family members. Make sure you work with your attorney on what evidence is admissible and what is likely to be ignored. In particular, you might find that neighbors, church ministers, day care providers, schools, etc would be better evidence.

Also, it is difficult to get a sworn affidavit admitted in some cases. Rules of evidence are very complex, but generally, the other side has the right to cross-examine your witnesses. They can't cross-examine a sworn affidavit. If you can't reach an agreement, your best evidence will be from people who can come to court.

You might also consider asking for a custody evaluation. Rules of evidence are not as strong there and some of the things you've mentioned will come to light - with the advantage that you're not the 'bad guy' in this event and it might make it easier to work with her for the next xxx years until your son is 18.

[williaer]

while I do think he needs his mother- perhaps you should report her, while he is staying with you. I don't understand- how is she showin up in court..getting temp. court orders and not getting deported? Is she not afraid of that happening?

Would he automatically go to you if she is deported, or would hev have to go with her? Can you tell I don't understand these things??