My soon to be pregnant ex-wife wants to get rid of baby i want to raise it

[flea2825]

My wife and I are getting divorced. We have not been married a long time and we know its not going to get better. She has a 3year old daughter from another guy. Now when she found out she was pregnant she didn't want to keep it because she said she could not handle it. Since then she has made up and changed her mind a dozen times. She want's me to consider adoption. I can't do that knowing I have a child and someone else is rasining that child. But she said she will not let me have the child. She would rather have it her self and either get child support from me and for me to be in that child's life. Or for her to just dissapear and never let me see my child. I fear for my unborn child's well being. She still smoke's and she is 4 months pregnant. She has not been a very healthy person with this whole thing. So I asked her about abortion but she can't handle that. Now she can't handle one child on her own and she knows she can't handle 2. She has no job, no money, no car, and she lives with her parents. Now since we split  I too had to move back home for a short time. However her moving there is permnant where as mine isn't. Also her parents are moving to minnesota and she plans to go there with them. In that case I asked her what about the baby she said she would move out there and forget this ever happened and live off of mommy and her step father. Mentally she is unstable. My wife changed when she put on the ring. I have seen things now I have never seen before. Can I take her to court and gain full custody of my child? I know there is nothing I can do until that child is born. But once the child is born is It possible for me to gain custody???

[Giggles]

hemming and hawing do you have in writing?  In order to prove her unfit, you have to have PROOF!

You might be able to stop her move to MN, but that may take some doing.  You'd probably be better off hiring a lawyer.  I know you will say you can't afford it....can you afford NOT to be in your child's life?  Think about it!!  

[babyfat]

I can only suggest you document everything check out recording laws and if possible record what you can. As far as her being "healthy" since your probably not a doctor that is your opinion and doesn't mean anything you have to get a doctor to say that. As long as she is going to an ob/gyn she is not medically neglecting the fetus. As for smoking as long as all she is smoking is cigarettes and not an illegal substance it doesn't matter.
Waht I'm trying to say is focus on the big things, when the case goes for custody have your stuff in order and ask for a psych eval. You will probably have to take one too. It is possible for you to gain custody but you have to concentrait on proving yourself fit first then worry about proving her unfit last and least. Unless she is physically dangerous to the infant or very mentally unstabel and it is documented by a shrink she'll get something for custody. If she try for adoption you can block it and sue for full custody. Consider the money aspect of it as well as what your going to go through emotionally it can be a draining situation all around.

[flea2825]

Thank you for your reply's but as of this weekend she made sure that there is no baby. So now I guess I can file no fault divorce or get an anullment because she didn't keep to her side of the bargain per say.

[Giggles]

Simply because most doctors will NOT perform an abortion past 12 weeks and if she was over 4 months along, they should have refused her.

Is there anyway she could send medical proof?

[babyfat]

I wouldn't believe her neither but some states allow and some clinics will do abortions up to 20-24 weeks. I would ask for medical proof as well because those states and clinics are far and few between and those later term abortions are very pricey. Where did she get the money for it? She could very well be pulling your leg so be careful.

[flea2825]

I know she got it done because I got stiffed with the bill. My lawyer said since I am her husband I am responsible for her bills. So she charged it. Now I have to pay for it.

[Kitty C.]

How much was the bill for?  If it was for a few hundred, then I think she's yanking your chain.  If it's for a few thousand, then you might be right.  And the other poster is right, there are damn few clinics in this country who do late term abortions.  And she would have been planning it for a long time, because you just can't walk into one of those clinics and get it done immediately.

I don't know, but something just doesn't sound right about this.  I just can't see how she could get it done that quickly and they would bill you that quickly.  If I were you, I'd be investigating this very closely.  Call the clinic where it was done...............NOT to confirm that she had it done, because they won't tell you because of HIPAA regulations, but to verify the bill, since it was supposedly billed to you.  And watch your back..............I still think she's trying to pull one over on you.

[Davy]

... and I sure as hell wouldn't pay for it.  

You might consider verifying  with your state health dept license issuing agency for suspenions, complaints, etc for both the facility and the practitioner. (Just a note; FL maintains that info on the internet for public consumption.)  Like someone else mentioned,  seek medical proof including pictures (ie drivers licesne) and even the Fetus for DNA testing.  If it appears on your Credit Report, tell them to remove it.

I doubt if the medical facility will contest.  

[olanna]

and Florida does offer abortions, as do most clinics, until 24 weeks.

http://www.floridaabortion.com/home/index.shtml

If she charged it on your credit card, you will be responsible for that bill. There aren't many abortion clinics that takes checks. So she either paid cash for it, or she charged it on a credit card.

If you have any more credit cards with her as a signer, you need to cancel them. And if you have a joint checking account with her, you need to close it.