Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Dec 03, 2024, 03:39:01 AM

Login with username, password and session length

What constitutes a change in circumstance?

Started by teacher98, Dec 16, 2008, 03:45:17 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

teacher98

What constitutes a change in circumstance?

My fiance (BD) and his ex (BM) (never married, teenage pregnancy, now 25 and 27) had an order of filiation in 2000 regarding soon to be SS.  That was the only court order they have regarding custody, visitation, and responsibilities.  There have been support orders modified since then, however, nothing regarding custody or visitation.  That original order states that the mother recieves sole physical (law for unmarried in Michigan) and joint legal with father. The visitation was every other sunday for 2 supervised hours so fiance could learn parenting skills and they could extend as agreed upon by both parties. Well since then (child will be 9 in March) they have worked out their own schedule. It was very rocky in the beginning. They fought a lot over time, but for the past 3 years it has been EOWeekend, split and alternate holidays, and EOWeek in the summer. The past 2 summers BM even agreed to the first 2 weeks with dad. My fiance requested to her in writing last school year 2 weekends on and 1 off during school and she denied saying that she needed to be able to spend that time with him (even though she was working) and said that if he lived closer that he could have more time during the week. We were living 40 minutes away. Well, this past August we did move very close. We are 9 minutes from her house and in a much better school district than hers. We even live closer to his son's current school than she does. At summer's end, the 3 of them had a sit down meeting because STBSS was very upset when at BM's about the different rules and also regarding a permanent EOWeek schedule. They all agreed to try, however, when school started, BM said she wouldn't do it.  STBSS has cried every weekend to his dad since then that he wants everything "even" and requested that his dad please try to talk to mom again. My fiance put together a typed packet outlining the sharing of holidays, a sample calendar, and a very respectful letter requesting that they try this out and gave it to her at drop off on Sunday.  BM called the next day threatening to take it back to supervised Sundays if he didn't stop "brainwashing" their son and told him that maybe they could try it when son is 13 or 14 and isn't just trying to please us and say what we want to hear.

There are many major and minor issues with the whole situation that I will save for another time, however, my question is...Is this move so close to her new home a significant change in circumstance from the original 2000 order?  If not, aside from physical abuse, what could constitute a change in circumstance? Should my fiance go for joint physical or just get what they already have been doing in a current court order?  He knows he is the better parent, however there is no evidence supporting that she is unfit as of yet. He doesn't want sole physical because he truly believes it is best for his son to have both of his parents as equally as possible.  I would really appreciate any and all replies.

Kitty C.

#1
I've sent you a PM...........
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......