800 number being used by BM

[Ref]

Hey everyone!

This is probably a common sense type question, but I thought I would put this out for advice.

DH got an 800 # for SD to call him long distance YEARS ago. He just went through mod of visitation and has SD over 3 times more. Now we think BM is using the 800# to talk to SD while on our visitation time. She is calling every day. She also admited to handing it out to SD's friends so they can call. She couldn't even remember who she gave it out to. DH told her it was inappropriate for her to give # out to friends but said nothing directly about her using it.

I called the phone company to see if they can suspend our 800# for the time Sd is with us. Nope. I asked if we can block certain numbers. Nope. I asked if we can see who calls. There is a 5 day delay in the records.

It is not the money (although it could add up). It is the principal. She pays none of the costs of us calling her home or Sd calling ours. She pays none of the cost to fly Sd here but she was the one who moved.

Any advice?

Thanks

[Kitty C.]

Then I'd kill the 800# and get a SPARC card.  That way ONLY your child can use it and she can ONLY call the number you designate.  There would be an allotted number of minutes as well.

Other than that, I'd leave the ringer off and force her to leave a voice mail.  Keeps the calls MUCH shorter, as I wouldn't be surprised that when she does call, she tries to stay on the line as long as possible.

[smtotwo]

We have both caller ID and voice mail.  If we know its psychomom or comes up private or blocked we simply won't answer.  

If she wants to talk bad enough she'll leave a voice mail.

[tulip]

How old is SD? IF she is old enough, do this. Change the number. Tell SD she has to learn a new number, and explain to her that this number is only for her to call. Tell her not to give it to anyone else, including her mother. Explain to her that it costs you money every time someone uses it, and it's not your responsibility to pay all these other people's phone bills, you just wanted to be able to talk to HER when she is away. If she has a problem with her friends not being able to call, suggest they get a phone card.

[Ref]

I think that is what we need to do. SD has a SPARC card for Gma (she only uses it 2x a year) and DH's cell. The 800# she has had forever and has it memorized. Too bad. We are gunna have to change it. Did I mention that I hate PBFH? x(

[StepmomInSC]

We had the almost the same problem. We got an 800# so that my stepkids could call their father whenever they wanted to.  We didnt give her the number only gave it to the oldest kid.  She stole the number out of his wallet.  Because our phone company only bills the number every 3 months it was awhile before we realized she was using it when she called to harass us every day.
We had to just get rid of the number cause even after her promising not to use it she still did.  We just started calling her more often.  Ended up being cheaper in the long run anyway.  The 800# cost more a minute than our long distance.  

[tulip]

Yeah, my dh gave the kids a phone card to use once when they went to AK with bm to visit grandparents. He made sure there was plenty of time on the card, so they could call every day, but they didn't use the card when they called. They used gma's phone, or mom's cell. So when they brought the card back, there should have been a lot of time on it still, but dh called to check and bm had used the card herself and charged  up all the time on it.

The next time they went there, he didn't send the card with because it was all used up. When he told bm that he knew she had used it up, she just stuttered out "oh, uh, yeah, I was going to talk to you about that. Sorry." So the kids called collect every time.

If they ever go away with her again, we are going to get a SPARC card.

[Aimee]

Is another line feasible?  With our phone company I think the cost is around $6/month.  You could have the 800# go to the other line and when SD is with you, just disconnect it.