To some this may seem petty but...

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

We make sure to get a receipt when we first get there. Like buy a soda or even a 25 cent pack of gum then that receipt is dated and time stamped. Then when BM doesn't show (give her reasonable time for traffic) our court order says 30 minutes you just have the cashier sign the back of the receipt that you were there until such and such a time. The cashiers actually get use to you if you have to wait a lot (like we do every week for an hour plus) and they start to do it for you. We never even had to go to court on that issue we just left and she had to drive an additional two hours then back four hours. Like I said that was a while ago and I feel we need to remind her again. But good luck

[oklahoma]

My husband has always been required to provide all transportation.  And when we moved 4 hours away, it was with the knowledge that we would still be doing all of the transporting.  But, we fudged a bit....

One year we were to have SDs until 10am Christmas morning.  That would mean on the road by 6 am, getting home at 2 pm--with good road conditions.  My husband called up BM and told her that we were not bringing the girls back due to poor road conditions (they were always poor in that neck of the woods, but the roads were not actually closed that day.)  But, if she felt it was safe enough to drive, she could come pick them up.  About 2 minutes after she hung up on my husband, he got a call from the local police department.  They told him straight out that they couldn't do anything, especially since my husband had told BM she could get them.  We drove them back the next day.

BM took us to court the next summer.  But you know what--she didn't say a word about my husband's "contempt."

[mango]

Getting a receipt sounds great. Get another as you leave. Document the wiat period. Buy a snicker bar or something. Copy the receipts along with a letter to the attorneys' that you were there.

If it were us, tho. Our BM would pay us back in tenfold by not allowing the next visit the next time.She'd have some excuse that we did not return her last time, or she was getting her "lost time" recovered, who knowsd what she'd come up with. Depending on your enemy, you might want to think through what you do.

[skye]

Our stories are so similar it is scarey, I have been dealing with the PBFH for 4 years now almost 5.. I have learned alot along the way...

download modemspy on your computer make sure the legal disclaimer is set on it. and set it to record ALL incoming and out going calls..

keep a journal of events, and when dealing with her never speak in person email it or send it certified return reciept..

she is setting him up to drive all the time she is gonna say he agreed to do it and since he has been doing it they will believe her... SO get DH to shoot off a letter stating she is not following agreement and should she refuse to meet again he will be filing a show cause Monday morning after for not abiding order and denial of visitation.. send cerified return reciept CC her attny, and yours...

every time she is late shoot off a letter every time its denied shoot off a letter..

the reciept idea is excellent I never thought of that.

and for all of you dealing with the clothes issue start taking pictures I invested in a time date stamp camera, take pictures of their socks caked in dirt of them filthy it PROVES she is not properly caring for them, rashes bruises cuts yup I have a huge collection ( may be why DH is now the CP)   I took notice of all those who made note to me they saw it.. teachers daycares etc..

the only way to change it is to prove that it is happening.

[Stepmom0418]

I cant get modemspy to work. My Dh says he thinks it is because we dont have a microphone. (old computer) We have been doing the certified mail for quite a while and it seems to work well. We have a very detailed journal that we have been keeping.

Spoke to DH's attorney today and she said that the judge will uphold the mediation order! Also the attorney said that #1 if denied visitation we will hold BM in contempt. (this has been a problem in the past.) #2 if in contempt a few times we will go for full physical custody because she cant and wont follow the co and is interfeering with visitation. (these plus many other issues that I have posted about in the past)