Is Halloween considered a shared holiday?

[Iamthegoose]

you're right Kitty..and sorry if I over reacted a tad.  I've read plenty of your responses and should have known what I was in for :)

No hard feelings I hope.  

You are absolutely 100% right.  It is all about my son and I will always do what is in his bests interests no matter what.  And to clarify, my ex invited my current g/f to come at the very beginning of Halloween talks.  I think everyone will be civil but I think the advice is sound...this might not be the best time for the 2 to meet.  

[Kitty C.]

Your EX invited her???  That's amazing, especially given how short a time it's been since you've separated!  Hell, DH and I have been together for 7 and married for 5...and the PBFH STILL wishes I would disappear off the face of this earth!  I'd drop dead of a heart attack if she ever invited ME to anything, LOL!

JMO, but if ANYONE, whether it be your son, your ex, your GF, or you, is uncomfortable yet with the situation, I'd wait for a different occasion.  One thing that eases it for us is going to school or extra-curricular events where there's a lot of other people.  SS's parents and step-parents can all be there for him, but at least we don't have to sit together!  But your little guy is only 2 and that's still a few years off.

Remember what Crush, the sea turtle, said about kids on 'Finding Nemo'?  'You never know, but when they know, you'll know, you know?'  Just keep doing what you're doing for the little guy, he'll get more and more comfortable with it all the time, and you along with him.  Then you'll know.......

And certainly no hard feelings!  Like I said, these issues create some very strong feelings in all of us.  We're talking about our children, after all!  What could be more important??  :-)

Glad to see you here, Goose.  Hope you keep coming back!

[MYSONSDAD]

Well, if I ever get to trial, it is a holiday in my Parenting Plan.

I live in a very small town and it is a farming community. Big on Harvest time and Halloween.

I miss enough holidays and the courts only recognize the holidays I get off of work. I do not work nights, so I had the attorney put it in.

"Children learn what they live"

[oklahoma]

No advice really, but I had to laugh at your comment about "one nice happy family hanging out."  I went with DH to SD's 5th grade "Promotion."  There was DH, ex#1, her current husband (he was just there at the end for a few minutes), DH's ex#2, me, and the children: DH and ex#1 have two girls, ex#1 and her husband have one son, me and DH have a son and daughter.  I jokingly commented to my husband that he needed to get a picture of all of his wives--he almost fell down laughing :)

That type of situation has very rarely occurred in the past 5 years I have been with my husband.  We certainly don't seek them out.  But it is manageable for all when it happens--and my SDs see that we can all act like adults.....

[onedaddy]

I just got off the phone with the lawyer and the GAL who stated it is indeed recognized as a holiday and we will be getting the children.

I was told this by a previous lawyer and noticed in on the parenting plans on this site.  I implemented it in to the new plan if we do not win custody.  Which believe it or not seems unlikely at this stage of the game.  

fingers crossed!  

[Kimberly9]

even if you do when custody.  Make sure that you get a very clear parenting plan,  even if you are the custodial parent.  It will decrease so many other problems in the long run.

Good luck!

[onedaddy]

We plan on it!
The parenting plan I have is like 20 pages long.  I think I've covered everything. BM will be as difficult as she can get away with.  So I gave her very little leeway.  The problem is this trial has been postponed so many times that while waiting she has done everything in the plan.  Maybe that'll prove better for us in the long run.  We'll surely see!

[Kimberly9]

after 8 years, I still get squemish every time that dh's ex and I have to be together, but we do it for my ss.

I would ask yourself this question:  Is my girlfriend likely to be permanent?

If the answer is yes, then I would set up a meeting for your ex and girlfriend before Halloween and then plan on trick or treating together.

It will not be confusing for your son.  He will be with people that love him.  He will love the attention.  My ss used to fantasize about us all (child, dad, stepmom, mom and stepdad) living in a house together.  He never had reunification fantasies that didn't include the stepparents.

There will be lots of times you will need to co-parent.  All 4 of my ss's parents go to pt conferences together.  It is stressful but gives us insight to so much more than if we went by ourselves.  The teacher sees us as a team.  It is best if you can do that.

Uncomfortable, yes.  But the relationship is worth it.  Good luck.