Should I make the first move or let X do it?

[ksmomof2girls]

I know our girls' school schedule.  They are out of school this coming Friday and Monday.( Inservices)

I am hoping by then that the order will be in place by then.  If its not, then I guess I'm screwed.

Should I make the first move ans ask my X if I can have the girls on those days, along with my weekend, or should I make him ask me? As the Judge ruled on the FRoR stating that I should get first chance to have them if X isn't going to be there.

Just curious.


Thanks.

[joni]

I would initiate it.  If you had to get this put into a CO for yourself, it wouldn't motivate him to have to do it.  If you don't ask, he can use this against you later saying you never exercised your right of first refusal.

It appears more proactive if you ask and he doesn't give it to you rather than him say you never asked and your defense was you were waiting for him to offer.

I would ask regardless of the CO being in place by then.  And document......

[ksmomof2girls]

I am needing help in writing the letter to my X where it doesn't sound like I'm being pushy or what not.

Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to write it?

Also, I have a copy of the agreed court order that isn't finalized yet, that my attorney typed up.  Should I copy the section about the FROR, and put it in the letter since my X doesn't have a copy of it, and probably doesn't remember what was said/agreed upon that day in court?

Thanks

[joni]

Why don't you just call him?  Why are you writing a letter?  

If you're unable to communicate with him, have your attorney fax his attorney a letter saying that per your last day in court and as agreed upon by the parties, you will be exercising your right of first refusal and will be babysitting your children on Friday thru Monday.  

[Avaya]

I think that if you are the one wanting the time, then you should be the one to ask for it.  Whether there is an order in place or not.  

[Avaya]

>I am needing help in writing the letter to my X where it
>doesn't sound like I'm being pushy or what not.
>

I'd call, but whether you call or write, I'd say "I know the girls are out of school on Friday and Monday and I'd like for them to be with me since I don't have to work those days either.

I dont' think this falls under 'right of first refusal' though. But that's just my opinion.  ROFR to me means that if the CP is going to be away from the kids then they have to OFFER you the time  and then you have the ROFR and they can make other arrangements.  You don't know if they're planning to be out of town or if the kids have other plans for those days (going to a friends house, having a friend stay over, going to grandma's.).  Right of First Refusal means he offers.  But if you know they're out of school, I'd always make the request if you're available.

[ksmomof2girls]

Here is how its stated in my court order:


7. In the event that either parent is not able or does not plan to be with the children during their parenting time for a period of time equivalent to the length of the children's school day, the other parent shall have first right of refusal to care for said children during the absence of the other parent.



I'm actually going to email my X, like I always do, when requesting time with our girls when they are out of school.