Father wants more visitation, mother said father's don't get more time

[boysmom1]

PAS is a very real situation, and its been ignored ENTIRELY too long.

It is definitely worth looking into and trying every avenue to correct. I read a book that was very good. It was called "Divorce Poison". Its worth checking out if you have the time.

I hope this gets better for you.

[MYSONSDAD]

The 'tone' seemed to imply, we became NCP's and are hiding something to cause us to be there.

I am not against BM's. My brother's GF just had a baby and she is being wonderful. He can see the child whenever he wants, they are going for joint legal and physical. Sharing time and responsibilities. She does not expect or want child support. She just wants their daughter to know her father. They are in the process of making it a legal document. They are keeping this out of the system, agreeing in advance. My hats off to both of them. She is truly a BM working toward true equal parenting.

You have seen both sides, the system is broken. Working together, and not losing focus, things need to change. My personal feeling is, when BOTH parents are found fit, take away the title of CP and NCP.

Apology accepted...

[NeverGiveUp]

I noticed you got more venting than advice.  Don't take it personal.  It's because most people have already gone through it and realize that there isn't anything you can do.  If there's a GAL involved and the GAl is going along with the "the kid doesn't want to spend time with you" crap.  Then you lose.  The judge will not listen to you or your att.  Just the GAL.  

Okay, so my advice.  Save the money you would have spent on going to court.  Start playing the same game.  Use the money to do fun things with your kid.  Spend every single minute you have with them having fun, doing what THEY want to do.  Then start asking them if they want to do things on days that aren't part of your time.  Yup, it's wrong.  But that's what your ex is going to do.  Tell the kid that they have to ask their mom though.  It will take a long time.  Eventually the kids may see that every time they want to come to see you and have FUN, mom says no.

Wait, and then wait some more.  Watch closely and when the time is right then go and ask for more time.  In the meantime, are you writing any letters to your reps telling them the law needs to change.  If not, then you deserve what you're getting.

[MYSONSDAD]

Love your advice and I am taking it!

I write my reps regularly, let them know this system is not working and then give some simple solutions they can easily look into. At times, I pay them a personal visit.

"Children learn what they live"