Good parenting

[vlad tepes]

creature constantly shows my 8yr old pg-13 movies.  If I call and ask
her why or anything, she'll just get angry then use it against me by telling baby: "Daddy won't let you watch this," or" Daddy won't let me show you this," or something similar to make me the baddy.  Baby is spending summer down there with her. What should I do?

[Giggles]

A PG-13 movie in my opinion is nothing to be fighting over.  When it's her parenting time, she calls the shots.  You sound a bit controlling...let it go and let "baby" have a good time with mom.

[sabor06]

I know the value of having your children watch age appropriate movies or shows, but true you have to LET GO, you can not make her into the parent YOU are. She is an individual and she will have to answer for her own crimes and desicions in the long run with your CHILD, (1) and with GOD (2). You stress yourself out more if you worry about it instead of surrendering it all to god and things will right themselves in the end.

Be the better parent... don't FIGHT!


God Bless

[vlad tepes]

you people are all poopie.

POOPIE I SAY!

[lucky]

I agree with you Vlad, she shouldn't be watching those movies.

However, I don't know what you can do about it.  Even if you had a court order, my bet is that your ex would STILL let her watch the movies.  And she'd make your child lie to you about it.  We're going through the same thing and have been for years.  Dh's ex showed my now-15yo sd the unrated version of American Pie when it first came out.  She was, what 12, 13?

Explain to your daughter that you don't approve and why you don't approve, use the issue as a jumpstart for conversations about behavior and expectations (depending on the movie's content).  You might also want to tell her that it ISN'T YOU rating the movie for 13 yo or older.  

In the end, however, you aren't going to be able to prevent her from seeing them -- you ex will only demonize you if you try to bring it up with the ex.

Good luck.

[awakenlynn]

Unfortunately there is not much you can do.  My husband's ex does the same thing.  All we can do is tell her no when she is here.  Even when she says she has already seen the movie, we stay constant with our rules.

Just let your child know you love her/him.  That you know that mom's rules are different, and that  the 2 of you do not always agree on the rules.  And when she gets back home, then she/he knows your rules are back in effect.

Lynn

[ilovemysd]

>creature constantly shows my 8yr old pg-13 movies.  If I call
>and ask
>her why or anything, she'll just get angry then use it against
>me by telling baby: "Daddy won't let you watch this," or"
>Daddy won't let me show you this," or something similar to
>make me the baddy.  Baby is spending summer down there with
>her. What should I do?


We personally have the same problem... 11 year old saw Monster-in-Law at the theaters last year, which is totally against what we would have allowed her to see and frankly, against the teachings of her school and church.  We went online to a Christian review site, learned about the film, and then talked to sd about the messages that were sent in the movie and what was right and wrong.  We did the same with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants... many inappropriate references... when we heard that she was reading it at her mom's, I bought a copy so that we could talk about it and the choices that the characters could/should have made... and what sd should do in the same situations.

[ilovemysd]

.

[awakenlynn]

It sounds like you are doing the best you can.  You show interest in her interests and help her to understand what is right/wrong.  That would be setting a good example.  That's what she needs.