How to tell my son...(long, sorry)

[Amy_in_MA]

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Stirling]

"He's got more than he can handle, and Z is the dispensable one."

I really don't think that this is a reflection of Z.  It is most likely that R considers you to be the most understanding and easiest to deal with of all his Exs.  

[Amy_in_MA]

So I talked with dad, I apologized for name calling, he apologized for getting angry and we agreed to shorten Z's visit by 2 hours to start, and see how that goes. He said he still intends to call the counselor (so he says), and basically said "and not to lay blame or anything like that, but he started having a hard time that night he had the bad sleepover, and I had already told him he could go home and then you said he couldn't...ever since then he hasn't wanted to be here." Yeah, ok...until next time...come on, we all knew it was going to be MY fault somehow. :)

Thanks all for the support, encouragement and input.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Amy_in_MA]

I don't think it has to do with my ease of him dealing with me...because of late, things have not gone well (he's been an absolute ass in the wake of my mom's death and I have no tolerance for it and have called him on his bs left and right). I think it has more to do with the fact that he's never lived with Zachary (he has lived with both of his other children) and doesn't have that same bond...there is far less emotionally invested in their relationship, from both of their sides.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Sherry1]

glad you talked to the moron (mean Z's dad).  Even though he didn't have the right answers.. I do hope he talks to the Counselor.

[olanna]

and then if he did ask, I would call his Dad and hand him the phone. Let Dad explain where he is (or isn't).

You already know how I feel about this entire sitch.

[Genie]

right?  And what better way to do that than pick out something that will make it your fault.

You know and we know you are wrong.  Crap you bend over backwards for him to be a father to his son.  Too bad he doesn't appreciate.  Bet there are alot of Fathers on these boards that would switch places with him in a heart beat.

[Giggles]

OMG...I often play the "Lets see how long you can be quiet" game with YD...I even offered her $100 to be quiet for 5 min...she COULDN"T do it!! ugh!

As for the losing patience...I do to :-)  I feel like total dog crap afterward and often apologize to YD for it.  We then have a lil Mom/Daughter talk about how "I need her to help me, that I have a lot to do and need help...just like when she needs help, Mommy helps her."

I actually ran into her father last night...and I'm going to start forcing him to take her more often.  They so need that connection.  So I have a free weekend...told him I'm bringing her up on Sat morning and he can bring her home Sun night!!! WOO HOO!!!  He agreed!!!

It will get better ((((Amy))))

[junglechicken]

I don't know what made me check this board, but I'm glad i did.

I certainly can't offer any better advice than anyone else hasn't already.  I've been thinking of you and Z a lot, and I'm deeply sorry about your mom.

You're missed, you know.  :)

[Amy_in_MA]

Thanks JC. I appreciate the support.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen