NCP has no home phone and no beds..grounds for stopping visitation?

[init4good405]

I am writing this for my fiance.He has joint custody of their 3 children ages 13,10 and 7 and the children live with us cause she gave up the fight and let him have them during the trial (long story)...it says in the custody papers that she MUST have a home phone and proper bedding for the children and she doesn't.She is supposed to get the children one weekend a month cause we live in separate states.Ok,she had the children for 5 weeks last summer then lost her apartment and brought them back on fathers day,since then she has only seen the children on New Years weekend and on Easter sunday of this year.She only calls once a month cause she has no phone and claims a pay phone charges to much.BF did not let the children go with her this summer cause she and her current husband were both unemployed and living with a relative,plus they was in a 2bdrm home with 6 people..this upset the ex and she has been threatening to take him back to court and sue for sole custody for him denying visitation.He keeps telling her it's in the custody papers that she has to have a phone and beds for the kids and she says she doesn't care about the stupid papers that she wants to see her kids.Now.... she is in this habit of DEMANDING us to be home at 7 p.m. saturday nights so she can talk to the kids,she has done this before and never called so we blew it off,well she called and threw a fit,left a nasty message saying we were refusing her phone calls...ok bottom line is,she wants kids for her weekend in August even though she has no home phone,no message phone,we have no idea where she lives,only the town and no beds.BF is worried about being 6 hours away and her not bringing them back(again,long story.she ran with kids for 3 years before he took them from her and got emergency custody,15 schools later and 65 days of missed school)! Any way,we could really use some advice on this one as to if we need to go by the papers or if the judge will think BF is being petty and side with her if she does decide to take him back to court like she threatens every time they talk..any advice would be great...thanks~

[Cookiemomma4]

I would get take the first step in getting the order modified if I were you guys.  She can then force the issue of phone time but that is about it.  I would hate to see you guys getting slapt with contempt charges because you are looking out for the safety and wellbeing of the children!  She SHOULD be granted daytime only visitation and it will need to be somewhere with telephone access (even if it is a local Walmart...hey they have phones there and you can "get a message through" if you need to.
I would also post this to Soc and see what he says.  

[notnew]

Not legal advice - just opinion based on personal experiences.

If you deny visitation then you are in contempt. First off, you need to send a certified letter to her requesting she provide the information that is required of her in the current order. Be business like and stick to the order.

Second off, you need to file for an emergency hearing asking that the visitation be modified due to the substantial change in circumstances that has occured. You need the emergency hearing due to the upcoming visitation. You also need to file for a modification of the existing order to take into account the circumstances that are existing now.

You have to follow the order to the letter. You also need to let the court see that you are concerned she is a flight risk and unstable. Your new order should spell out visitation alternatives if she has no place to live or take the kids (such as supervised at a visitation center if your county has one, or at a specific relatives house for XX amount of hours per day and limit where she can take the kids - like not out of state).

I agree to post to Dear Socrateaser board. Make sure you follow his guidelines so he can provide the assistance you need.

I say it all the time. It is better to stick to orders to the letter so when you end up back in court you don't muddle things up by having agreed to something that isn't contained in the order. When you agree to things outside of the order, it makes it harder to make contempt or other changes stick.

Good luck.