Can the stepmom pick child up at school?

[Jenn1]

I need help my husband works on Fridays and I drive a hour and a half to go pick up my stepdaughter from school. My husband and his ex don't get along so his ex gives me a hard time to get to him. I want to know if she can stop me from picking her up for his weekend? Do I need my husband to give me something in writing to do so? And if she still denies me what do I do?(call the police) I don't want to upset my stepdaughter by doing that but what can I do to prevent that from happening? Please help any suggestions are very helpful. Has any other stepmom gone through this?

[lovingdadinks]

I am dealing with the exact same thing here. But just until last week when a journal entry was signed I was not even allowed to pick up SD!! Just because BM always told DH "No, she is never going to pick SD up". We had to get a court order. But this was because she flat out refused in every way.
But from what I know, if DH lets the school know that he is the bio father and you are his wife and he is allowing you to pick up SS on his Friday's due to his work, there should be no problem. Give the school a copy of divorce decree stating all of the visitation and have DH call the school and give his permission. OUr schools have a list of people who can and can not pick up the kids. You should be put on the list and then BM can't say anything. On your Fridays, just call the school and inform them that it will be you doing the pick ups.
This is all I got for you. Cuz unless it is stated in a court ordered paper, DH can have anyone he wants pick his son up. She would also have to have in a court order paper that you can not pick up the child.
Lots of luck to you
Lovingdadinks (wife speaking though)

[ocean]

It depends on how the court order reads. IF it states he gets child from school on Friday's then yes, he can designate you to pick her up. If not, then she would have to write a note to pick her up. I would have your DH send her a letter that states "Because of my work schedule, XXX will be picking up XXX at the school on Friday's just like she has been doing in the past. If this is an issue, please let me know and I will make an application to the courts to resolve this matter." Short, quick letter. Mail it certified with signature. Then if she starts in again, I would ask for a modification.
Good luck!

[gipsy]

Ask Socrateaser

[Jenn1]

What do you mean ask Socrateaser?

[dsm]

He is one to bounce legal issues off of.  He needs specific information about the court order and the case.  Your DH needs to be the one to ask because you are not a party in the case (if that makes sense).

But, I can tell you from experience, that  your DH should call the school himself and advise them that you will be coming at such and such a time to pick his daughter up for his parenting time.  He should give you a copy of the court order showing this is his ordered parenting time as well as a short note delegating the pickup to you and giving a contact number where he can be reached.   You also could call the police station first and annonymously ask what they would do in this situation.

Note from your dh should read:

"Today's date (or whatever date of pickup)

To whom it may concern,

I am the legal father of Child.  Due to work schedule, I give permission for my wife, Your Name, to pickup Child from School Name on Date at Time in order to exercise regular scheduled and ordered parenting time with Child.

If there is need to confirm this permission, I can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx.  (if your DH is unable to take phone calls at work, then leave this out and instead refer to exact wording in the court order)

Sincerely,

Dad"


Now, that's what needs to happen, but to make sure that you are covered, answer these questions:

*is there anything written in the court order that says that only your DH can pick his daughter up?  

*is there anything restraining you from contact with your SD?

*is it clear that this time is your DH's time?

GOOD LUCK!

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dsm - 35; DH - 39; SD - 17; LO - 10; BB - 3

I am not a lawyer, so don't take my advice as legal - it's just what my experience has shown me.  It is not a guarantee of what will or will not happen to you.

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3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
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Live, Love, and Laugh

[MYSONSDAD]

I have the same exact crap going on, here is what I did.

Give a legal POA to the person you choose to do pick ups, make sure you have it notorized. ex will refuse to allow the pick up regardless, call the county sherriff and have a visitation denial report made out, then take the PBFH to court on contempt.

POA's are very powerful. Check with SOC, he might have another idea. But mine was a sure contempt.

The person I designated also went and had their entire driving record available for the court thru the DMV. Never been in trouble with the law in anyway, again documented. Sure gives the judge a quick glimpse into WHO is agravating the situation in the first place.

Just my thoughts....