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Need help with visitation

Started by 2ndwife, Oct 23, 2006, 06:59:24 PM

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2ndwife

My H has three children from his prior marriage that he has not seen for about eight years due to his ex had cut all communication with him back in 2000 by moving a lot and changing her phone number. In 2004 we had a call from some collection agency looking for his ex and I had informed them that she had never resided here and that we have been looking for her since 2000. Just so happen they gave me her telephone number and since then he has constant communication with his children, but it has not been easy on my H and SC becuase he was not part of their lives since than. Speaking with his ex she had informed us that she had filed for divorce in the state she lives in, but faild to produce any documents. I in turn called every county in that state to verify and divorce decree and not to my surprised she had lied about filing for a divorce. We took matter into our on hands and filed in our state and he was granted the divorce stating physical custody with joint legal and visitation shall be only limited to her state of resideance. Knowing that, we had tried to have visitation in our state with my SC since 2004, but when the time comes near his ex makes up and excuse. We had filed for a post decree relief in our state regarding this situation in 2005 and they had both agree to a stip regading visitation in our state, but the paralegal whom was helping us out had stiffed us and now the judge didn't take any action in approving the stip and now he has nothing to enforce. We also tried to have them this christmas, but his ex has put my h in a negative light towards his children and now they do not want to visit him. In the state that she lives in they aknowledges common law marriage and she also had acquired proerty using her common married name during her marriage with my H. In the state she lives in everyone knows her as her common married name, but I feel that she commited polygamy. The lst my H seen his children was when they were ages 4, 3, and 1 years old. During this time he had suffered a great deal of emtional stress with not being able to see his children nor talk to them via telephone. I did get in contact with her now H ex wife and I've found out a lot of interesting information pertaining to my H's ex like she had forced my SC to call her than boyfriend "DAD", they got married in 2002 (But she was still legally married to my H during that time), she had aslo told her now H's family that my H had abandon his children (which that was another lie, because she had kicked him out in the middle of winter with no where to go, my H did not want his children out in the cold), etc... and for the past years the only time my H's children and his ex calls is when they want money or stuff from him other than that they do not call my H just chat. I did speak with my H's ex had she got me very upset when she had informed me that SC doesn't see my H as their dad and that they see their SD more as their dad. We just need some kind of advise on what to do.

MixedBag

you gotta follow it up in court (IMHO).

And I'm guessing, but you might wanna be prepared to pay child support (maybe even retro-active) since you didn't mention that in your post.

Whether it's a Custodial Parent, or a Non-Custodial Parent, Mom or Dad, sometimes court is the only way to go to enforce or get anything accomplished.

And even then, an EX who wants to be uncooperative might still be uncooperative.

Drop the concern over whether or not she committed polygamy, IMHO, that's a battle that's not worth fighting.

Many CPs "force" their children to call the new step-parent as "mom" or "dad" -- and yes, it happens on both sides.

It's how the children handle it that's important.  Dad's kids in this case were/are very small, so they are easily influenced in a negative way by the Mom.

Keep pushing....The kids deserve their mom and dad.


2ndwife

CS was already estabilshed and have been and still am paying CS on a monthly bases and the only time we hear from them is when they want more money and it hurts a lot when that happens.

As to the children deserve both of their parents and not jut one we are still working on that, but there issues that has come about becuase BM has shine a negative light on my H towards his children.  

Thanks!