How long before it's unreasonable?

[gemini3]

123

[MixedBag]

if you're close distance, that's long enough.

File a motion with the courts to get a defined parenting plan with specific time for the child with each parent.

and keep asking for time with the child in the mean time.

[mistoffolees]

You might want to consider making the requests in writing or by email so you can prove that your fiancee asked.

[gabes_mom]

I think that you should get the courts to clarify "reasonable visitation".  

Our court order allows for holidays, summer time, etc and one weekend out of the month (we live 8 hrs one way from the kids though)

If you live close to the kids it would be best to have a clarification made though.

[gemini3]

123

[mistoffolees]

I don't know for sure, but I suspect that judges allow 'reasonable' in the agreement because it's impossible to predict all the possible scenarios in advance. The best thing for the kid(s) is for the parents to learn to work together well enough to resolve new issues themselves when the come up rather than relying on a court to make all the decisions. I certainly don't want some judge who doesn't know my daughter making decisions for her.

There are, of course, plenty of situations where the parents can't agree and those need to be resolved. But I believe that the court should get involved as infrequently as possible, so I don't object to 'reasonable'. Of course, that's easy for me to say now since I'm still fairly early in the process. My stbx started out being very reasonable, but she's gone bonkers and looks like 'reasonable' is likely to be one of the last words you'd use to describe her, so I may end up in your boat some day.

In your case, I don't think anyone would agree that your ex's behavior is reasonable. However, be sure you can document it with more than your own timeline. Your ex could simply say 'he never asked for visitation' and it's your word against hers. That's why I suggested putting the request in writing or email (or at least having someone with you when you make the request and having them initial your timeline).

[gabes_mom]

Yeah we have a similar problem with "reasonable" times to call the kids on the phone.  I guess in the BM's opinion it is NEVER a "reasonable" time.  We call get the voicemail and almost never get a return call.  Last summer the BM had the nerve to ask us to call more often!  I told her very bluntly that we'd call every day to speak to the kids if she'd answer her Freakin phone!  But even after that conversation she still won't answer unless she feels like it.