Step-Parent Visitation?

[sweetpeas]

I can absolutely understand a judge being less lenient on modifying parenting time for a parent who CHOOSES not to exercise visitation on "their" weekend.  But as I said before, in our case DH has NO choice in work scheduling - he works a state job (not going into too many details here, but there are "maximum enforcement" periods where NO ONE gets the weekends off) and although he asks for his weekends off when he has his kids, he can't always get them.  Since BM doesn't want them with me, they can spend their weekends with grandmother, aunts, and cousins, which they had done most of their lives anyway.  It was never an issue until recently, when the PAS started up.  

Now BM doesn't want them with anyone in DH's entire family circle, saying if he can't be there, they should be with her.  But in her mind, it's perfectly acceptable for them to be either home alone or with a sitter when SHE has to work or have her social life.  Interesting the way her mind works - it's ok for HER to have a job that takes her away from her kids while in her care, but NOT ok for their Dad.  It also (in our opinion) has very little to do with what's in the children's best interest, it's all about getting a higher percentage of custody because that means more child support for her.   And the fact that he consistently asks for "make-up" time shows that he loves his kids and wants to spend his time with them.  He isn't choosing extracurricular activities over them.  I just wish they were able to see through their mother's manipulation and realize that all he has ever wanted is what is best for them.

[mistoffolees]

>I'm in the military, so I have no choice about going.  I go,
>or I get court marshalled and lose my job.  This doesn't
>matter to BM though, and she tells the kids that I "chose" to
>go.  They're too young to really understand, and it's
>confusing to them to get two different stories from their
>parents.  I would never choose to miss parenting time with my
>children.

If you have to miss parenting time due to work obligations, you can make a pretty good case for makeup time. If your ex won't agree to it, you MAY be able to get the court to OK it. Check with a local attorney about how it works in your area.

[ocean]

I can see it both ways however if he is in the military I think you have a very good shot at getting the visitation while father is away or get make-up time when he comes back. Since there are no other siblings in this case at dad's, I would go for the make-up time.

How long is he away for? If it it long, then maybe ask that there is a short visit in the middle with dad's family until he gets back.