Going to Court.....Need a Devil's Advocate

[thesmithfamily_5]

>Ex is asking for the TX standard order to take effect, but I
>don't think she paid attention to it.  She requests the TX
>standard order with 2 variations--every other spring break and
>we do not get SD over her birthday.
>
>Ex JUST wants every other spring break--

EO spring break isn't the standard order! I mean, anything could happen, but BM's gotta have a really good reason for taking away the child's time with her father! Even for us, we're about 200 miles apart. We get SSs 1st, 3rd & 5th weekend and still get EVERY spring break! Her reasoning is off and DH should point this out to the judge, that BM isn't looking for the best interest of the child. That, even though the child thinks she wants less time w/ dad, she's only a child and not old enough to make decisions of that nature, that's why you're going to court!

[awakenlynn]

Ex's reasoning is that they don't get to do stuff over the spring break then and SD misses too much with her friends--like they have parties and stuff and SD can't go.

I am really sorry that SD can't go to some of these things, but I think that time with Dad is so much more important.  If hubby were to lose this, he wouldn't see his daughter from Dec/Jan until June (odd years) and November to June(on even years); that is really too much time apart from dad and we are definately arguing NOT in SD best interest!

Ex thinks that because this is a new state she is fighting in, she will win, she doesn't really care about SD, just how much power she can have over my hubby.  She has stated before that it is all about HER convenience, no one elses.... (how sad to live your life)

Thanks,

[awakenlynn]

Well, ex flew to TX today.  He got there ok, and the midwest is getting with one of the worst storms this year--which doesn't bode well for the return flight.  Hubby got to go to SD's first soccer game of the season AND he got to take her to dinner.  (When ex is nice, it usually means she wants something)

Anyways, we finally had our attorney fax me the interrogetories that ex did awhile ago(I had forgotten about them).  Ex's only change in circumstance is the fact that she moved to TX (which she did 5 YEARS ago) and was only really moving jurisdiction to TX because her IL attorney told her she should and then said that if she didn't get this court order going, then we would try and have IL take it back since it was up in the air--so here we are!  Also--apparently she couldn't get ahold of SD 6 times one month last summer; what she forgets to add is that SD called her back the next day.  We don't force SD to talk to her mother and we don't force her to call back until she wants to.

Ex wants the TX standard order--which she doesn't understand.  We told our attorney if that is the order she wanted, fine, we would take it and since ex is the one applying for the change, then ex would need to be responsible for the flights EOW.  Now we know that is not is SD's best interest, but it puts our current visitation in a much favorable light.  We want to keep what we have the same and are willing to forego the EOW's to keep our 8 weeks in summer and our spring break (otherwise SD would go 6-7 months without seeing dad and family and we would have no time to celebrate her birthday)

We are arguing for lay-over flights and think that if we go in front of a judge that will be the biggest issue.  Attorney was trying to see if we would accept transporation for summers and Christmas and could fly with a layover, unless ex insists on a non-stop then she would have to drive to Dallas.  BUT then when ex pays for Thanksgiving and spring break we would have to drive to Chicago.  Which is something we can't bend on--1st because the last year we picked SD for Thanksgiving we were stranded in Chicago overnight for a huge ICE storm, our 3 hour drive up took 6 and then SD stayed in the air over Chicago unitl 12:30AM and then over the holidays we had to find a place to stay!  
2nd--its a four day holiday and we would be driving for 2 of those days, that's not fair to anyone!  So we are really going to have to fight this one.  But we can show precedence--SD flew with layovers last spring break; also I printed articles giving estimates of the number of UAM's that fly every year(after 9/11); I printed AA's rules for UAM's; I printed the website of the company that is the UAM's escort service; and I printed some scientific article giving the statistics of why flying is safer than driving (also after 9/11).  I have printed everything that I could find that might have some semplance of helping us.

Keep your fingers crossed for us tomorrow.  Hubby meets with attorney at 8:30 and court is at 9.  

Thanks!!

[awakenlynn]

Ex has a problem and I don't know what!  First she was b****y in court, but then she let SD go have lunch with her dad.

Court ruled in our favor for most everything!!!
1) We continue to get every spring break, but we need to take into consideration any of SD's special considerations (not sure what that means--kind of vague, but haven't spoken in depth with hubby yet) I know SD has her last soccer game during spring break.  So we have to determine which is more important, missing the soccer game to spend time with dad and us or going to soccer and missing half the break with her family.

2) We continue to get 8weeks in the summer.  Judge has asked us to move the 8 weeks up a week so SD can do some before school.  I had wanted something alittle more specific with actual days.  The times for drop-off and pick-up is noon, which doesn't make either party really happy.  And a neutral spot equally driving distance was determined.  If ex decided to fly SD it has to be into Chicago(I think--this was the one point we lost out on)

3) We continue with alternating Thanksgivings.  Ex is required to drive SD to Dallas.  (My thoughts is that is one of HOW MANY that a 15-year old is REQUIRED to fly non-stop until 18?)

4) We split Christmas.  Even years we get 12/28 to end of visit.  Odd years we get start of vacation to 12/28.  If ex drives she has to notify us by 11/1 and she has to take any drive into consideration so as that we don't miss any visit days because of her "drive".  (This may be the biggest point of contention that if it isn't spelled out clearly enough, ex may try and ride roughshod and try and make us miss days.

We are responsible for Spring Break(drive to Chicago), Thanksgiving(from Dallas), and possibly some Christmas's.  Ex said she would always be driving, otherwise we are responsible for the flight(not sure into which airport).  Ex is responsible for summers, but if there are any flights we would have to go to Chicago.

Child support was also touched on by the AG.  They have alot to figure out internally, but they have zero'd out our arrears--since it was their error AND they are to work with IL to fix those arrears (also their error) and pay us back any overages--which there should be some.  When ALL that is corrected, then we are supposed to file papers agreeing to mover jurisdiction from IL to TX--which we DON'T have a problem with.  I think he was also asking for a withholding notice to be put into effect so we don't have to worry about child support (we prefer it coming out of the checks so we don't have to worry about spending it before it gets sent out).  Child support is to remain the same--which I believe includes the fact that our 8 weeks are to be abated.

Now ex just has to behave for 3 more years!! How quickly can you bring a person back into court after an order is determined in TX?

I need to start looking into plane tickets!!  And finding an extra $200 to get to Chicago.

Thanks!

[thesmithfamily_5]

I'm glad the judge didn't take away time, I figured he wouldn't. I'm not crazy about the comment he made about spring break, hopefully that won't be a problem in the next 3 years....

As far as going back to court, she could attempt at any time. She still has to prove a change in circumstance affecting SD. And child support is every 3 years.

[awakenlynn]

Hi, thanks for everything!

I don't like the spring break comment either.  The judge made the INTENT of the comment clear, and told our attorney that ifex pulls any stunt then she is to be notified immediately.  Judge did NOT like ex at all.

Husband did have a little fun.  Both parties were in conference rooms next to each other and both attorneys knew each other and were friendly with hubby.  Hubby is tired of ex trying to take advantage of him so he put it all down on the table.  Ex wants full TX standard order, then that is what he would give her and because she is the one who has instigated the change--then she would be responsible for ALL transportation (as it is not spelled out in the order).  Boy, he said you should have heard the yelling!  Her attorney had to leave the room and the AG who was in the hallway made some comments about it.

After this, they got down to business. After ex arguing every point, she finally gave in except for transportation.  TX is standard order is all flying transportation must be non-stop.  So we didn't have a choice here.  We also picked up potentially having to pay for an extra ticket on even years if ex chooses to fly SD.

Some questions did come up that will need to make sure are addressed.  But we need to wait for the final copy of the order to be mailed to us for review.

Thanks!
Lynn

[MixedBag]

Dallas to Chicago?

Can you plan and use Soutwest that flies into Midway???

I just checked the route map, and that has a non-stop 3 flights a day between DFW and Midway.

And geez, put in a flight a few weeks out and one-way is $97.

[awakenlynn]

No, we fly Dallas into O'Hare with American Airlines.  We stick with the one airline.

The prices on that Southwest airline sounds good though.  Wonder what ex would say is SD flew non-stop into Midway.  We've never been there before.

[awakenlynn]

No, we fly Dallas into O'Hare with American Airlines.  We stick with the one airline.

The prices on that Southwest airline sounds good though.  Wonder what ex would say is SD flew non-stop into Midway.  We've never been there before.

[Davy]

Just to clarify.

Southwest Airlines (SWA) only flies in/out of LUV field (Dallas) and there are numerous flights (none are nonstop).  

A Federal law passed years ago prevented SWA (LUV) from flying in/out of LUV with stopping at an airport in an adjoining state.  That law has only been relaxed in very recent years for selected airports (ie STL).

However, on SWA website, there are 3 nonstop flights from DFW (not LUV) to Midway apparently subcontracted to an airlines known as ATA.  All flights I saw were $225 or $247.  

SWA flight attendants are excellent with kids.