Ok here is the scoop

[Silver04cavy]

Ok so the ex and I ended up getting pregnant and were supposed to be married until I had found out that she was "common law married" to her ex. Well she didn't want a divorce from him and was talking to him behind my back and lying to me about it the whole time. Long story short you can guess what happend, I moved out he moved in. Fast forward 6 months and here comes my beautiful baby girl. She had to baby in Jan. she didn't even have the descency to call or email or anything to let me know she had it. I foud out from an outside source. Well 20 days later i find out for sure she had it and met my child with my mom and sister for the first time. Things are going ok I am talking with her and getting along with her for the sake of the child. I filed all the paperwork for the child support and all of a sudden when she starts getting money from me I can no longer see my baby. Now we are filling out our parenting plan for the court and she is trying to tell me that having her 50/50 is "over-stimulating" the a child and thats coming from her doctor. She is not going to back down on this and thinks that I should be ok with the whole everyother weekend thing just because she is the mom and thats what she sees as fair. I am also not going to back down from my stand on the being able to see that baby for half the week and giving her back wether it be 1 day and then 6 days, 2 days and 5 days, 3 days and 4 days and so on and so on i dont care which way it goes. I need some kind of article that proves she is not teling me the truth about "over-stimualting" a child by going back and forth between parents. I know its a lot of rambling on and on but I really need help from someone who has been here before or can point me in the right direction...... Thank you so much for reading and looking forward to some help

[Kitty C.]

I'd be telling her to put her money where her mouth is.  In other words, tell her the good doctor will have to testify to that in court.  And if she doesn't know what the cost is for an expert witness, she's soon to find out, because it ain't cheap.

Then gather all the info you can find on the positive effects of shared custody.......there's a lot of info on this site alone.........so you can counter everything the MD says........IF she has the money to pay him to testify.

[Silver04cavy]

That's the problem. Her sister who is loaded due to an unfortunate accident with her husband at work, but that's not the point. She is going to be helping out the ex with the money part of it. I just don't know if she is bluffing or if she is ready to take it to a jury or not. I am really trying to avoid all this but the civil ways are not working at all so I guess I'm just going to have to take it as far as she wants to. Is there a way to change an order once it is in place by the court?

[Kitty C.]

Once you have a final order, the ONLY way you can get it changed is with a 'significant change of circumstance' regarding the child.  Which means the court will decide if any negative circumstances involving the child warrant a change in the order or custody, in order to protect the child.  Generally, this would include any type of documented abuse, CP co-habitating with a registered sex offender, and certain types of neglect.  BUT..........unfortunately even in some extreme cases, judges will look the other way and it would take an act of God to make a change.

Sorry to sound so defeatist, but it's the hard-core truth............

[Silver04cavy]

Ok so basically I better have my lawyer long before I go in on the 4th of Aug. Well when I go in then it's just to see a mediator and hopefully we can come to an agreement but I am not going to hold my breath on it. and then from there do they set me up for a court date if we cant agree after that? I'm not really sure what's going to happen but I am really getting tired of the courts dragging sh!t on and on and on and out.

[Davy]

Silver..if you're worried about being pushed into a final judgement while showing up for mediation find a rum dum to enter as attorney of record BUT the rum dum won't be available the day of mediation.  I would suggest  representation by a family law certified atty if one is available.  A lot of information exist on this site ... click on "articles" at the bottom of this page ".