Teen decisions to be parented or not

[elaine60]

Could someone possibly tell me when they came up with the idea that when a child becomes a teen that they have the decision of whether or not they want to be parented by both parents. I have been told on several different forums that in the state of Indiana, judges are now allowing minors to decide whether or not they want both parents involved in there lives. I was also told they are basing these decisions on just what the teen has to say. No background research, no testimony, no nothing, just the word of the teenager.

It makes you wonder sometimes what the heck is going on.  If a parent stops supporting a child then they are called a deadbeat. What are children and ex's called that refuse to allow one of the parents there right to parent?

If I child literally disowns you because you have there best interests at heart and they don't agree with your rules why is it a judges place to decide whether or not you are allowed to see the child.  Does the judge want to pay the child support for a child who deny's a parents existance.

I think its time that the tactics of our judicial system is more and more questions when it comes to decisions about families.

[reagantrooper]

I hear ya! I am going though this very situation now. Its BAD very bad. the mom (CP) has for years undermined me and my parenting. Now I have a 15 YO, 6 month Pregnant Daughter who knows if I ever tell her no about anything her mom will file a motion with the court. I am at the end of my rope and just about to write off my daughter for a lost cause. Hopefully with some age and maturity she will relize what her mom has done and reconnect with me.

[elaine60]

You mirror our thoughts

[Kitty C.]

This link was included in the most recent ACFC (American Coalition for Fathers & Children):

http://www.breakthroughparentingonline.com/

There is some VERY good information on PAS and check out the link at the bottom of the home page 'Successful Strategies for Divorcing Parents with Child Custody Issues'....there are some VERY good articles that pertain to what you're going through right now and strategies on how to work through it.

 

[Ref]

It was a great summary of so many articles that are out there. I wish it was out years ago.

I have to say, around 16 DH started backing off his PAS daughter. She backed away from him too. She already saw him as little more than a wallet with legs. That may be a PAS thing, but more likely a combo PAS and teenage thing.

SD is now 17. The past couple of weeks she has called to just talk. We are waiting for the bomb, but meanwhile it is nice.

I think my dad did the same to me. I am a recovering PAS kid myself. Around 16 he just walked away (after 4 years of divorce). By the time I was 18 I missed him and needed him. We started building our relationship then. It was hard for years. He lost trust in me and I was working on gaining his trust and trust in him. My relationship with my mom went to hell because I figured out how much she lied and manipulated me (and still tries 18 years later). That is actually the "recovering" part for me right now is trusting her again, but I am almost there.

I digress. Sometimes offering space is the best way to go. Don't disappear. Send loving emails or packages. If she still talks to you over the phone, call every couple of weeks.

Good luck
Ref