Venting...

[hisliltulip]

What is with this woman?  (Actually I DO know what is with her, I just need to vent...)

DH has custody of YSS (5).

PBFH (boy does that fit) has parenting time Wednesday overnights, and eoweekend from Fri Night until Mon Mornings at 9:00.  During the summer, she gets 2 weeks "uninterrupted time" as does DH.

THIS IS A VENT, try to follow me here...

BM took her 2 weeks in June, brought SS back a DAY late.  DH let it go, because he hates fighting with her.

Monday and Thursday mornings, she has returned SS late every time this summer.  Not a little late, from 1 - 2 hours late.  DH has said nothing, because he hates fighting with her...

DH went out of town a couple of weekends ago.  He gave PBFH the option to take SS, which technically he did not have to do, I could have taken care of SS.  But DH was trying to be nice.  (do you see a pattern here?)

OK, do the math, so far she is 4 days ahead this summer, and who knows how many hours since she can't get her rear out of bed in the mornings.

DH's two week time starts this weekend.   BM has had SS the previous 3 weekends.  She calls last night TELLING him that she is going to keep SS from Wed night until Fri night "Because she never gets to see him".  Puhhhleeeze.

On a side note, on the weekends she has SS, she takes him overnight Fri, drops him off at her Mom's (hotel room, woman doesn't even have an apartment) Saturday afternoon, and picks up SS on Sunday nights, then keeps him until Monday mornings.

So, if she is so short on time with SS...  WHY is she giving him to her Mom EVERY Saturday overnight she has him?  Duh, because having SS cuts in on her drinking/drugs time.

Anyway, DH did tell her no.  She got all pissy, and he said he had to go.  (Because he doesn't like fighting with her).

I told him I was proud of him.  He normally gives her her way because if he doesn't, SS suffers (Daddy is so mean to me, he doesn't love you like I do, I'm afraid to be without you, I wish you could live here and visit your Dad because he already has kids there...)

The woman is a b*tch.  I can't stand her.  I can't stand how she screws with SS's head, and takes advantage of DH's kindness.  How in the hell am I going to be able to get through the next 13 years without telling this woman off?!






3 Boys!

OSS - NCP
YSS - CP
DS -CP

[Peanutsdad]

You'll get thru the next 13 yrs because you have to. Because you love your DH and SS.....you'll do it.


Of that,, I have no doubt. You are one hellova strong lady.

[mango]

My DH is same way. Nice to the max. Never wants to rock the boat. BM takes takes takes...

After over 8 years of dealing with it. (it doesn't get better by the way), I finally just figure so, what? what's another day? In the scope of it all does it matter THAT much?

I look at it this way. When the Skids are with you guys, they are actually WITH you. When they are with BM, they are pawned off to someone. (same situation with ours, funny how alike). So in reality YOU are getting more time.

Just gotta look at it the best way ya can.

[hisliltulip]

Thanks PD, I appreciate it.

As you know, DH has two ex's, I have one.  Out of the three, YSS's Mom is the worst to deal with.  I just don't get her thinking, I don't think I ever will!  And I probably have to stop trying, because she drives me crazy!

I'm trying to look at it this way...

My Mother played head games on all four of us kids.  "Poor little me, no one helps me, your Father is awful..."  (AND they are married).

Eventually, all of us got smart to her games.  Who was there for all of our activities growing up?  Dad was (and still is for the younger two).  Who pushed to let us be kids instead of Mom's slaves?  Dad did.  He never guilted us for loving both of them, never made us pick sides in their arguments.

It's jumping up and biting her in the rear, and she of course has no idea why.

I am hoping that this will hold true with SS.  I am unsure if the result will be the same because the dynamics are different since SS's parents are divorced, but I am hopeful.

Once again, thank you PD.

(and really, I am too non-confrontational to tell her off.  Plus, I'd like to keep my teeth!)

[hisliltulip]

"I look at it this way. When the Skids are with you guys, they are actually WITH you. When they are with BM, they are pawned off to someone. (same situation with ours, funny how alike). So in reality YOU are getting more time."

I know this, as does DH.  That was a major reason why he went for full custody.  His words "A child should be raised by atleast one of his parents, not the parent's relatives".

Really, in the huge spectrum of it all.  The biggest problem we have is that BM and her family try to brainwash SS against DH.  And unfortunetly, sometimes it works.

Example:  Last night I dropped SS off at his Mom's, as DH had a migraine and was vomiting.  When I pulled him out of the car, he was talking about his Great Aunt and how nice she was to him.  

I of course said "She really is nice, and loves you a whole lot.  I know you have fun with her."

His response is "Yeah, but she really hates my Dad, so does Great Aunt #2, Grandma and BM".

I came back with "Well, don't worry about that.  They love you and Daddy loves you, and that is what is important.  They don't have to like each other".  (As I am biting my tongue really really hard).)(

I then bring him to the door, leave him with BM's freaky looking BF and leave.

Now, for this kind of stuff, WTF?  Am I handling it right?  We DO NOT speak poorly of anyone in BM's family or of BM when SS is around.  I grew up with that crap, and I don't want him to.  It messes with a kids head.

_____________________________________________

As I am pulling away, my sis lets me know that PBFH is coming, so I of course stop and roll down sis's window.

She starts going off about DH not being there, I try to explain to her that DH is sick and VOMITING.  She cuts me off and asks if she gets to keep SS until Friday night, I said no (again, DH already told her this), because my parent's are coming in town (we only get to see them about once a year because they live in the south and we live in Minnesota).  She stalks off.

I call DH, and warn him about our conversation.  As I am talking to him, she beeps in to ream him.  Now, keep in mind that she and her winner of a BF live in two rented rooms.  Obviously SS was there for her little tirade...again.

She goes off AGAIN on how she doesn't have enough time with SS.  DH said, "Look, I didn't make the visitation schedule, don't blame me."  She starts swearing at DH, and he told her to quit temper tantruming just because she didn't get her way this time.  (I can't believe he said that to her, I am SOOO proud of him).
 
This morning she actually DROPPED HIM OFF ON TIME.  Glared at me, and told SS that she will be calling EVERY DAY.  He said ok.  She asked him for a hug, and left.

When she took her two weeks.  DH did not call SS.  He didn't want to upset SS or interrupt her time with him.  But now that it is DH's time, she is going to call every day?  Man, are we glad that we have caller id.

Wow, look at me, I'm venting again.  Sorry.


Beth



3 Boys!

OSS - NCP
YSS - CP
DS -CP