Not sure what to think

[norm9838]

I can not say that my daughter has not always had problems but things are getting worse. I am not sure what to think about the way things have changed in the last year. Heres some background. Her mother and I split up when she was 5 and she is now 12. She has been in 5 schools and is starting into the 6th grade, luckily enough its the same school for the second year. She is only child of me and my ex-girlfriend. She has always been top priority in my life and I have always scheduled my life according to her or at least I have tried. HEr mother and I always used to be able to communicate but that is no longer. My ex has lived with and now is married to man she has been with for less than a year. He is a very jealous person and has pretty much told me to butt out. This has caused me great distress. I love my daughter and want to spend time with her. I have a fiancee that I have been with for 2 1/2 years and my ex has always never seemed to have a problem with her. In the beginning of our relationship she even seemed to try to befriend my fiancee. My daughter and my faincee have always seemed to have a good relationship to the point of my daughter feeling like she could confide in her more than me. I no with time comes change but I do not know what to think. Last year my daughter was to the point of wanting to come live with me and my fiancee. She had been upset with her mother because of a lot of the things that had happened in her life with her mother. Loss of friends because of moving, loss of pets because she had to move and could not take them with her. She was making herself sick because of the pets Understand one thing my daughters pets were her security blanket. Finally my daughter told us she told her mother that she wanted to live with us. A month later her mom brought her a dog to replace the other pets she had lost. My daughter even went so far as telling a friend she has where we live that she knew her mother was bribing her to change her mind about living. Her mother then married the man she was living with and now life is constant chaos. He is telling my daughter stories and embellishing them. I think he tells her these things because he wants to appear big to her. He has a son that is near my daughters age but he lives three states away. My daughter has told me that he is unable to have visitation with his son. She says it is because his ex-wife is a b----. He told me on the phone though that he has had trouble with the law in the state he use to reside in and I wonder if it was abuse. For some reason his son can not visit him and his 24 year old daughter refuses to. It is to the point where he told me I am not to call to talk to my daughters mother concerning my daughter. My daughter has told my fiancee that where before we were able to be easy about visitation that they now want to go according to the paperwork. I now have my daughter 6 days out of 14. It will cut me down to everyother weekend from Thursday night after school through Sunday at 7. Also Tuesdays from after school till 7 at which time her mother is suppose to pick her up. I know that they will bulk about that but it is in our papers. I worry that I am going to loose my daughter. She is becoming a very angry child. She constantly tells lies to us and is getting worse. She seems to be drifting away from us and seems to have total alligience to her mother and her new stepdad. I know that he is causing part of this. He more or less has told me that his wife and him are happy, bought a new home together and do not want any interference from me. Understand it is not only me he has alienated. My ex no longer has contact with the biggest portion of her family. Her mother visited last year and he said such nasty things to her that her and her daughter no longer speak, she also does not talk to her sister. I feel that this man is verbally abusive and seems to be removing everyone from my daughters life except for him and my ex-girlfriend. There has to be a reason why? I would like to look into hiring someone to do some background work about him. Can anyone suggest any? Also how can I document the things that he is saying to me and in the background when I call. If I do get through to my ex and he is there he can be heard in the background calling me all kinds of things and until he starts in she is halfway civil, in fact the few times i have been able to talk to him without him being around she was east to talk to. Can anyone give me some advice?

[purrrfectgirl]

First thing I recommend is to look at your State's laws about recording conversations.  If you are a one party receord State (meaning only one party has to know the call is being recorded) then start recording all calls immediately.  If both parties have to be aware, then either tells your ex the next time you have her on the phone, or send her a letter, and a tell her ALL future conversations will be recorded.  Then record away.  If you are a two party record State, you might have a hard time recording his conversations, because he won't consent, but I'd say give it a go anyway.  As for the investigations, lots of things can be found out on the internet.  IF not, try to find a local PI to.  These people usually have access to more distant resource and PIs in other States that people like you and I just don't know how to find.  Hope it helps!