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daddy where are you?

Started by Bolivar OH, Aug 05, 2004, 11:36:49 AM

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Bolivar OH

a long -copy/paste /  a very sad story.

Jorge: Because the court decided that.

Alex: Why did the court decide?

Jorge: This is life, they are criminalizing the father.

Alex: Why daddy I can not see you?

Jorge: Because the laws are made to protect the women without considering daddy.

Alex: Why daddy?

Jorge: Because there are 100000 shelters for women and none for men so any woman can claim being abused to walk out of the marriage.
Because they say the men leave the wives while 66% of the wives filed for non fault divorce.
Because mom did not want to live with daddy and their children so she can file a divorce.
Because mom went to court instead of a mediator so she can have a CHILD SUPPORT check.
Because mom wanted to be free in her world so we do not bother her.
Because mom IS protected by the laws so she can abuse the laws but NOT dad.
Because mom wanted to be out of the marriage so she MADE UP some abuse and they believe her.

Alex: But daddy I want to see you.

Jorge: Your lawyer for your best interest decided that you do not have to see me.

Alex: Where were you when mom sent me to the hospital?
Or tried to send me to a foster home?
Or when mom did whatever she wanted with me?
Or when you hired a lawyer to defend me for my best interest and took me away from you?
Or when I misbehave like any child in the neighborhood and mom took me to the hospital?
Or when mom called the police on me when I was nervous?

Where were you daddy, you were hidden afraid?

You taught me to be brave but you are not that brave.

How much I suffer daddy at the hospital without mom and dad, did you see me?

Why did you not hug me and kiss me?

I was very afraid of these strangers, daddy, and mom took me without asking me.

Where were you daddy when:

Mom defended the other child in my fights.

Mom took my dignity away.

Mom took me to the wrong professional for my school and I did not make any friends.

Mom needed therapy so she destroyed the family based on the state laws.

Mom is keeping us for the Child Support check but nothing else.

Mom never played with me until her lawyer told her.

Mom discharged me from the Hospital with some rules but she never follow though.

I wanted to kiss you daddy but for my best interest my lawyer said no and mommy's lawyers said forbid.

I wanted to hug you daddy but for my best interest my lawyer did not want, and mommy's lawyer took her advice.

I wanted to go with you to the movies but for my best interest they gave one hour with you as a visitor supervised by some body that I never met.

I wanted to go to the sport but for my best interest you have to stay away.

I wanted to do the math with you and for my best interest I have to do by myself
I wanted to go to Disney but for my best interest I have to go to Oak Park.

I wanted to be an Engineer but for my best interest I do not if I will see you again
Which kind of dad are you, that I can not see you.

My lawyer says you are good dad. Good to whom if I do not see you anymore around.
Daddy do you have another family? Are you dating someone? Where are my maps and my magic square? Can I see the coins? Dad are you listening, I can not hear your voice anymore. Where is your strong voice?

I only can see my mom's lawyer smile with satisfaction because for my best interest she is taking me away because you are a bad dad.

You are away because you did something bad being a Dad. I am bad because I still love you. I do not want to be bad

Bye, dad if you ever remember me, I am here waiting for the trip you never took me.


That was quite a piece. Is it part of a bigger thing?



  Reading that reminded me of the single most painful memory I have of the seperation/ divorce with my kids' mom. I had moved back in to the house to try and "make things work" one more time. From day one after moving back in it was apparent that the only thing my ex was interested in was to use me for whatever she could get. I had to do what I could for my own welfare and hope to be able to what I could for the kids after I became re-established. So after five rocky, restless days I came home from work and gathered what few things I could before the kids mom came home. The babysitter was there watching t.v.. As I was taking what I could carry out the door my little girl came up to me  (she was about 2 and 1/2 or three) and with big sad brown eyes asked "Where are you going daddy?"
  Without a doubt it was the most deeply painful moment I have ever experienced. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to not be with my kids. My mother was married four times and I know what it's all about for a child to have a parent leave. It's like I relived all that emotion and felt all of my daughters grief and my own all at the same time. I can only hope that it really will all come out in the wash. And someday I hope that that little girl standing there looking up at me with that terrible question in her eyes realizes that I would rather have died than left her that day. In fact, a part of me did.


You just made me cry.


I belong to a number of fathers rights groups on the web. Unfortunately I do not remember which group I was at when I copied the story.

If my memory is correct this is a segment from the book.

Where's Daddy?: The Mythologies behind Custody-Access-Support
by K. C. Wilson

This is only a guess, I could be wrong.

I did read  "Where's Daddy?" and enjoyed it.  I read a lot,, and do not always remember which book told which story.  I remember the story by not the book title.

If I run across the web site I saw this I will post it.


Honestly, I can't imagine putting myself before our son.  My ex did some pretty awful things to me during the time we were together and throughout my pregnancy (not physically).  If I am honest, I would have to say that my ex's feelings really don't matter to me.  I'm not saying that I would do things to intentionally hurt him, I'm just saying that it doesn't enter into my decision making process.  What DOES matter to me is our son.  I've said it here once before, and this is what does enter into my decision making process:  I love our son more than anything.  More than I dislike his father.  I never want to see the hurt look in his eyes, or hear the question "why doesn't daddy love me" and know that I am even partly to blame.  To look at my ex and I, you would think we get along so well we would probably end up back together.  That will never happen.... too little too late..... hurt goes to deep.....whatever.  These are issues between him and me, and certainly better left in the past and not something our son needs to be privy to.   As far as he sees, and he is only 13 months mind you, we get along great, take him to get pictures done together, etc.  Bottom line is, our son comes first.  I hope it can always remain this way.  Children have enough dealing with the process of growing up.  Their emotional health and wellbeing should come first.  


No comment at this time.


What name would that be?  My username?  It's from a song from the movie Dumbo.  The song is named Babymine, and Dumbo's mother sang it to him.  I also sang this to my son.


I love that song!  When my DD was a baby I bought a Disney lullaby CD. All the music was instrumental and it was so calming and relaxing. BabyMine was one of the songs on it and I just loved rocking my precious daughter while it played.