Update on FERPA Letter Post

[jilly]

School Dedication/Open House was from 2:30-5:30 yesterday.  We got there around 2:40.  First hour was dedicated to introducting the administration, etc. so we just walked around checking out the new school and finding SD's classroom.  Ex and SD were not there.  DH gave the teacher SASEs with a handwritten note listing the information he wants to receive.  The teacher was very nice and I believe this year we have another "good" teacher.  As luck would have it she's a Mom/Stepmom herself!! Yay for our team! LOL  I think this teacher will understand the situation better than one who has never been there.

We saw the desk where SD will be sitting and looked at the folder of information on the desk.  There was some fees due so DH went ahead and paid for it. (Chalk up another point for us!!)  The teacher even gave DH an extra copy of the general information that was in the folder. Teacher also advised that she e-mails alot of things, like class newsletter, so we made sure she has our e-mail address. Ex and SD still weren't there by the time we left so we called her to let her know we'd been there and that DH had paid the fees.  She told DH that they were just getting ready to leave because they were going somewhere afterwards.  I think she waited til later because she didn't want DH to see SD when it wasn't his weekend. Bad thing is we had DD with us and I had told her she'd get to see her sister and she kept asking where her sissy was.  GRRRRRR  Can't tell a 3 year old that her sissy's mommy is a b****.

Couple of interesting things:  on the personal information sheet that has the address, emergency contact name/number, etc. it showed that SD was living with Ex and stepfather.  That's funny considering they've been separated for almost a year (will be a year in September).  I'm assuming she changed this when she saw it. For once they showed DH as the Father and had our address and phone number in there.  Past two years they had the SF listed as the Father and DH has always had them correct it. She had one of her friends listed as an emergency contact.

Keeping my fingers crossed for a good school year!

[dsm]

Good job for your DH!  You've got in face-to-face contact with the teacher and a one-up for showing involvement.

Lesson learned for you with your little one - never promise that she will get to see her sister if it is not your time with her - because you will find yourself having a disappointed little one just about every time.   Instead you should say that you're going to see her sister's school and if she asks where her sister is, then you say she is with her mom.   Your little one will learn quickly too.
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dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 15
LO - 9
BB - 2
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2 Cheap Entertainment cats - Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....

[jilly]

I know...should have known better...and I normally don't do that sort of thing.  DD thought she would be going to the school! LOL  It was so cute and the teacher got a chuckle out of it. :)  I kept telling her that it was sissy's school and we were just there to see her new school and to meet her teacher.  Alot of times DD will ask where sissy is and I tell her that she's with her Mommy but that she'll be with us soon.  Sometimes she'll even ask "Sissy at her Mommy's house?" and I tell her yes.

The heartbreaking thing is when we take SD back home.  We'll almost be to the house and DD will start asking where are we going and where is sissy's mommy's house.  There's been a couple of times when she's cried as we were leaving because she wanted her sissy.  Sometimes I think we did the wrong thing by having a child together when I see her crying like that.

[dsm]

But as she's gotten older (and even by the age of 4 or 5) and developing her own sense of herself, she'll go through periods of missing my SD when she's not here, but it's not the crying like when she was a toddler.  With our baby boy, he hasn't really gone into the crying fits - but then we now have custody of SD, so it's not the same as when LO was a toddler.

Just keep encouraging your DD that her sister will be back to see her and try to get her attention on other things.  Do special stuff with just her when SD isn't there so she starts to look forward to the special you/her time.  It's a fine balance, and I agree....the struggle is one of the biggest concerns I had for not wanting to have more babies after LO (BB was a surprise and took me a long time to come to terms with) - simply to keep from having another child go through the stress that we live.
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dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 15
LO - 9
BB - 2
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2 Cheap Entertainment cats - Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....

[joni]

prepare for the worse....hope for the best

sounds like things went great.  hope that the school year goes well for the entire family

good luck!