BM is still sharing the same bed with 7.5 y.o. son...

[minicoopsmom]

And the payor (the father) pays a substantial amount of CS...isn't that money for the child's room and board and shouldn't he have a room of his own? The child has his own room EOWE at the NCPs house and the NCP also pays CS, shouldn't he have his own space at the Payees?

This seems wrong to me. We all know that if the father was sleeping with his 7.5 y.o. daughter, it would be an "abuse" situation. They sharing the same room and bed. When the payee has a man over, the BM locks the child in the room and "sleeps" on the living room floor.

Does anyone know if there are laws against this? And anything specific to the state of WA?

[4honor]

BM shared a bed with SS and his older brother (previous relationship). They traded until SS was 9 and the other boys was 12. DH was concerned. He asked BM on several occasions to consider other arrangements. She responded with many 4 letter words on what he could do to himself.

Whether son has a room of his own, he must be provided with his own bed and he must have privacy for changing.

HOWEVER, she can do almost anything else she wants short of abuse and if bioDad does not take her to court for contempt, she will continue to behave in whatever manner she desires... usually to upset bioDad.

My step son did some awful things to his younger brothers (my sons w/DH) and I think that this extended time in bed w/BM set him up for failure.

I think that the father should use the paragraph in the CS order which states the parent receiving CS "may" be required to disclose where the CS is being used for the child... since he is not provided with the basic necessities.

[wysiwyg]

We went through this exact same thing many times in court.  child was 10 when BM went to BS with him and slept in same bed/tent, child would go to grandparents and sleep with grandpa in same bed, and the GAL looked at us like we were the crazy ones, her comment was that the child was "scared" and wanted to comfort from the thuderstorm by sleeping with mom.  Then the child tells GAL that he wants more "alone" time with BM.  Am I the only one that sees a big red flag here?

Child now 14 and mom still goes to week long and weekend long boy scout camps outs.................

[evalisto2005]

Yes, I think that any one could see a red flag there. My son's mother sleeps with my son still. It is because of her wanting to cling to him and wanting him to depend on her. I do not see how my son can end up having his own identity or high self esteem because of this.

[wendy11068]

I have the same problems only my older son still sleeps with grandma and the younger one sleeps with dad.  They have their own room and beds and all that but they don't seem to be encouraged to use them.

At my house they sleep in their own room and in their own beds, only occasionally coming into our bed for comfort if they are ill or have had a bad dream.

There doesn't seem to be much I can do about it either at this point!  I feel for you!  I am NCP and dad is CP and I do pay CS!

[catherine]

BM in our case still sleeps with 8 yr old son (she is NCP).  I so agree with you about self esteem problems - our BM thinks YSS is stuck physically at the age when she had custody (when he was 3-4 yrs old) and she treats him that way and he mentally reverts back to a toddler when they talk.  It's really hurting my YSS because she encourges him to be emotionally and mentally immature.

[reellis527]

I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING!!!!!!!

I am the CP (female) and have a 4 year old daughter, when she goes over NCP for every other weekend visits, she comes back and says how she has to sleep in the bed with NCP and one of his many girlfriends and that she's not allowed to tell the girlfriends about each other.  Not to mention she has been having night terrors, bed wetting, and touching herself!  What can I do?  I want stop the overnight visitations all together!  Please help!

[vlad tepes]

i have no problem with parents and children sleeping in the same bed together. but then, i'm not from north america where my family and i feel pornography has taken over every facet of existence such that no matter how innocent and pure a situation is, "sex" is te first thing on people's minds.  this topic is only a fruit of the society in which it it allowed to fester.

that said, treating a 7 yr old like a 3 yr old is just dumb, but not necessarily bad.  children in north america are forced into adulthood far faster than is healthy, so, maybe what you think is regression is actually where a healthy child should be developmentally speaking.  whatever the case, i am almost never one to condemn parents who share beds with their children.