Support & Termination of Rights

[lateralus73]

My ex has moved around constantly, I have no idea where she is. I cannot afford a private attorney, her family refuses to tell me where she is, the court system refuses to help, long story short, I have not seen or heard from my children in over 6 years. I do not know what they look like, what they like to do, nothing. I have tried so many avenues, I have sunk into severe depression and simply gave up over the last couple of years. An old ex-friend of hers contacted me via MySpace and told me she doesn't know where they are now, but that she heard my parental rights were terminated, even though I continually contacted the child support office and told them of my plight. They always told me to hire a private attorney, or a detective and try that way, but would not give me any information. I still pay support every month, however I don't know where they are! If my rights were terminated, am I still obligated to pay monthly child support? I cannot afford what they are stealing from my checks, I now live in public housing and have to rely on assistance to get by. I fell behind on payments when I got sick and couldn't work, then 2 months after I got a good paying job, I was arrested for arrears. I lost the job, lost my car, lost my apartment, now my license is suspended and I can't afford to get it back. Any ideas on what I should do, or if I am actually responsible for payments if my rights are terminated? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated!

[Cookiemomma4]

You are responsible to pay as long as they have not been adopted by someone else.  
Now, onto my questions...did you have a custody order in place?  What is your current status regaurding the children or your relationship with her?
If you didn't and you weren't married, then you may have not had any rights to begin with which is a sad situation to say the least (but I will save my issues with the family court system for another time).  If you had an order, then things can go very smoothy...you simply go to the courts where the order was originally filed and you file contempt charges against her.  Obviously you have access to the internet so you can figure out how to do this on your own (or at your local law library...or even public library).  This is what we were told to do when we found my ex-husband's children and then the district atty may choose to file kidnapping charges (yes, I would also be giving them a call and let them know of your situation, although they may choose to do nothing since you have waited so long to take action...I do hope that you have some kind of proof that you have been trying to contact them).  If you don't have rights or an original order, then your first step would be to find them...which I will get to now...
You don't need a private investigator and things to find them.  You should have some basic information on her and your children right?  If you have a SS# or 2 and a previous address you can use an online search for them and you would be very surprised at what you can find.  We used //www.usasearch.com when we found my ex's kids.  They were located within 48 hours complete with phone #'s.  It cost us less than $50 for a full report!  Another avenue that may work for you is to file for a modification of your child support...there would be a hearing that she would have to attend in one way or another and information would be updated OR she wouldn't attend and you would argue that, although you love your children and would love to see them and support them and  since there is no contact and she obviously isn't concerned enough to show that you would like the order either terminated or rediculously reduced.  From there you might have more resources to find them and go from there.  
My SO wants my to also mention here that you should take your time and do your research before you step foot in the county offices to file for anything (it is not like the time will matter as it has already been over 6 years).  Basically know what you are talking about, and know the laws that are working for you or against you as that is the only way to dispute or assert them.
The next question is what will you do once they are found?  How old are they?  You may have an uphill battle at that time if they are old enough to have their voices heard or if you have no proof that you have been trying to contact.
Good luck and keep us posted here as we learn from one another...plus it is always nice to hear that there is some outcome...

[ocean]

I was thinking the same thing. Since you are not working, you can go to the court house and ask for a modification due to you not working at the old amount. They will mail the court papers to the address they have on file...(if you get a really nice person there, they may tell you!). Then she will have to show up. Depending on the visitation plan you have now, you can modify that at the same time.
If you know the area, you can call the schools there, or send them all a letter from this website that you want a copy of their records/report cards. One of the schools may send you the info if the children go there.
Good luck!