private school funding

[tilldeathdouspart]

Hello, the mother of my child was just granted sole custody and primary placement of our 3 year old child. there was no substantial evidence for the courts to stop the previous 50/50 joint custody/placement we had for over 2 years so i plan to appeal it until im blue in the face. anyways i have a question in regards to the moms choice of pre-k early childhood schooling. The mom decided to pick a private lutheran school during the time we had court ordered joint legal custody. She never discussed this with me, and did it contrary to the judges orders. Now that she has all legal say, will i as the childs dad be forced to pay for the private school fees??? also if the mom chooses to alienate me which i know she will will i also be required to pay for daycare for the child even if during the times she takes her there i am available? Thanks, and remeber dads, FIGHT FOR YOU CHILDREN, they need you.

[mistoffolees]

I assume that your decree says something about support? THAT is what you pay. If there's nothing in there about support, you need to get it clarified.

You claim that she put the kids in a Lutheran school - contrary to the judge's orders. If the orders really say that she can't do that, you have grounds to file for contempt. However, it would strike me as extremely odd for the orders to really say that. What do they really say on the matter?

But, no, private school should not affect support - at least in my state which I think is typical. Your support should cover the normal cost of raising the kids. If she wants to spend more than that, it's her responsibility. If she wants to drive them to school in a BMW 7 series, she's allowed to do that - but you don't have to pay for it.

The only exception would be if your agreement said that you were paying a portion of educational expenses.

[tilldeathdouspart]

Thankyou mistoffolees for the quick reply. I reviewed my court order and under the 50/50 joint custody provisions it states that all medical, religion, and schooling matters were to be decided by BOTH parents. Now when the order was changed just a week ago to sole custody to mom it seems that the judge praised her for this behavior.

on another note, the mom also took and had my daughter baptized when she was 5 months old after we seperated. She refused to include me telling the courts that her family stated that if i was there that they would not show up. Then i requested to know what religion she baptized her as because i am a christian and she refused to disclose that to me, finall the Guardian Ad Litem forced her to tell me. Mom also told each and every medical provider that my daughter had visited throughout her life that me, the childs dad had no rights to any of the records. I could go on and on about the "parental alienation" but you get the idea. The courts did order us to attend co-parenting counseling but i never went due to financial problems. i know thats no excuse but i made many attempts to attend. And finally after i sent a payment to the counselor for her retainer fees i tried to get the moms availibity schedule to compare it to mine so we could set up an appointment with the counselor and again, mom refused to tell me saying thats "none of your business" AT the court hearing mom just lied and lied about how she always tried to talk to me about these issues and the judge believed it all and cared nothing about my defending statements so that why the order was changed to me only seeing my kid 2 days a month. I firmly believe the courts made a gender biased decision and did me and my daughter WRONG. And on a final note, DOES ANYONE BELIEVE I HAVE GROUNDS TO TAKE THIS TO THE COURT OF APPEALS??? And was mom in contempt??? Any info will be great and sorry for the long posting.

[mistoffolees]

>Thankyou mistoffolees for the quick reply. I reviewed my
>court order and under the 50/50 joint custody provisions it
>states that all medical, religion, and schooling matters were
>to be decided by BOTH parents. Now when the order was changed
>just a week ago to sole custody to mom it seems that the judge
>praised her for this behavior.
>
>on another note, the mom also took and had my daughter
>baptized when she was 5 months old after we seperated. She
>refused to include me telling the courts that her family
>stated that if i was there that they would not show up. Then i
>requested to know what religion she baptized her as because i
>am a christian and she refused to disclose that to me, finall
>the Guardian Ad Litem forced her to tell me. Mom also told
>each and every medical provider that my daughter had visited
>throughout her life that me, the childs dad had no rights to
>any of the records. I could go on and on about the "parental
>alienation" but you get the idea. The courts did order us to
>attend co-parenting counseling but i never went due to
>financial problems. i know thats no excuse but i made many
>attempts to attend. And finally after i sent a payment to the
>counselor for her retainer fees i tried to get the moms
>availibity schedule to compare it to mine so we could set up
>an appointment with the counselor and again, mom refused to
>tell me saying thats "none of your business" AT the court
>hearing mom just lied and lied about how she always tried to
>talk to me about these issues and the judge believed it all
>and cared nothing about my defending statements so that why
>the order was changed to me only seeing my kid 2 days a month.
>I firmly believe the courts made a gender biased decision and
>did me and my daughter WRONG. And on a final note, DOES ANYONE
>BELIEVE I HAVE GROUNDS TO TAKE THIS TO THE COURT OF APPEALS???
>And was mom in contempt??? Any info will be great and sorry
>for the long posting.

It appears from your ruling that you don't have any obligation to pay for schooling that you didn't agree to, but you'd have to verify that with an attorney.

She is clearly in contempt and you can probably sue for contempt to force her to comply with the agreement as written.

I do not believe that you can appeal the earlier ruling on those grounds. However, you can seek a brand new custody hearing on the grounds of parental alienation and contempt.

You need to see an attorney.

[ocean]

She can ask for you to pay a percentage....depends on the judge.... YOu will need to prove that the public school is just as good as the private school in her area. I have seen this issue go both ways so it really depends...
CHild support is separate from daycare. school, activities. Some people just use the child support money to pay for these things ....others have it as an add-on. (give the recipt to the other parent and they have XXX days to pay).

[mistoffolees]

>She can ask for you to pay a percentage....depends on the
>judge.... YOu will need to prove that the public school is
>just as good as the private school in her area. I have seen
>this issue go both ways so it really depends...


It depends on the state. In my state, the judge is not allowed to order payment for private school under any circumstances. You don't need to prove anything.

If the two parties agree to split private school cost in some way, the judge's order can incorporate it, but the judge can not order it unless both parties request it.

That clearly varies from state to state, so the OP would have to check on rules in his state.

Of course, that's irrelevant at this point because all he has to do is follow whatever's written in the order he has already received rather than worrying about hypothetical siutations.