Question for NCP's of older children

[jilly]

DH is the NCP but he and ex have joint legal.  My SD is in 5th grade and will be starting middle school for the 2008/2009 school year.

Through the years, we have had anywhere from excellent to so-so communication/cooperation with her elementary school teachers as far as getting notified of and attendance at Parent/Teacher conferences, copies of school work, progress reports, report cards, etc.

When SD starts middle school there will be more than one teacher to deal with and it will most likely be extremely hard, if not downright impossible, to get them all to provide copies of her school work.  I don't forsee there being a problem with getting copies of progress reports and/or report cards.

Has anyone else dealt with this?  How did you handle it?

Thanks in advance for your input!

[Kitty C.]

My SS is in middle school and it's never been a problem.  The first thing I'd do is find out which teachers she will have.  Also, contact the school guidance counselor with your concerns.  Depending on what kind of system the school uses, your SD may have just one teacher who will 'coordinate' things, like parent contact, scheduling conferences, etc.  With SS, he has an 'advisor' who does this.  Different schools will call it different things.  At SS's school, they also have grade 'teams', teachers in specific grades who work together and are assigned a certain number of kids.  We were lucky.........DS had already gone thru the school a few years prior, so I was already familiar with how things worked.

As for 'provide copies of her school work', precisely what do you mean?  If you're talking about the actual work she does in school, the only way you will see it is if she brings it home to show you or it's provided at a conference.  This is middle school and there's more changes than just having more teachers involved.  There's much more school work in volved and they just don't have the resources to provide ongoing work that students do.  Usually, they will highlight one or two projects at conferences.  I would certainly ask for all the progress reports, not just report cards.  That will give you a good idea mid-term as to how she's doing.  Also, ask for any handouts they offer, handbook, calendar, etc.

If all else fails, make an appt. to visit the school (during school hours, if possible) to talk to whomever you can, be it the teachers, guidance counselor, and/or principal.  

[jilly]

Thanks for the info Kitty.

Currently SD's teacher makes copies of her in class work, copies of progress reports and copies of report cards.  The teacher also includes (for the most part!) the school newsletter or other information that goes out.   She puts all this in a folder and leaves it at the front desk in the office and I pick it up once a week. It's a PITA sometimes but at least we're getting something.  If need be, we e-mail the teacher.

I realize this won't be realistic once she starts middle school and I don't have a problem with it. As long as we can continue to at least get copies of her progress reports and report cards and have e-mail contact and with the teachers it should be OK.  Since SD doesn't live with us, about the only time we see any schoolwork is when we pick her up from school on our weekends.  SD hasn't had her bookbag the past couple of times we've had her because, of course, the Ex had an excuse for picking her up from school early and we had to pick up at her house.

We can get the handbook and calendar off of either the school systems website or off the schools website.  Hopefully the teachers will have enough information on their websites so we know what's going on in the classroom. We'll also attend any open house they have when the new school year starts so we can meet her teachers and let them know we exist.

Right now I'm not even sure what middle school SD will attend!  There's two that are close by.  I'm just not sure which one is in her district.  We don't live too far from the Ex but our DD is in a different school district.

[Kitty C.]

Depending on which school and how they operate, there might be an 'open house' of sorts before the end of THIS year for parents and upcoming students to attend.  If they have something like this, it would give you an opportunity to meet with teachers and find out whom your SD will have specifically.  Sometimes they don't have the schedules ready until the very beginning of the school year, too.  But accessing the school's website is another good idea and you should be able to get the e-mail addresses from there, too.

Good luck with this.......depending on the size of the school, it might be difficult or easy to get information.  Also, seriously consider volunteering for functions........this is the period of time that socialization (dances, LOL!) really ramps up and it can give you a very good opportunity to meet teachers, other parents, and SD's friends, as well.  I did this a few times and am really glad I did.  It's a very different atmosphere, more relaxed, and it gives you a wonderful opportunity to network with teachers and parents.

[junglechicken]

I just haven't heard of that, that's all.

We just request copies of report cards, that's it.  They pretty much tell us everything we want to know, added to the homework we see them do.

[jilly]

Just so we can see what she's doing in school as well as how she's doing on her in class work.

[awakenlynn]

SD is now in high school and frankly they refuse to deal with us, but we are going to have to handle it in the courts.

Anyways, we tend to stay in touch with each of the teachers thru email, and we keep up necessary discussions this way.  As to reports and such, we try and have one of the staff "assigned" to us.  At the old school it was a wonderful lady in the registrar's office.  But she would answer any of our questions and would mail out the information we needed.  We got progress reports, grades, picture information, newsletter and so forth.  Hope this helps.

Lynn

[wendl]

We haven't had any problems and we live in a different state than my stepkids.  Make sure the school has a current divorce decree, speak with the principal and the school and email the teachers.  Make sure if you live a long distance that they have your phone # and home address.

My ss (who is in middle school) his school sends us the monthly newsletters, report cards and if we have questions we email the teachers.  Also many schools now have attendence, progress reports etc online now, so you may want to ask the school about that.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Lifehappens]

check and see if school has online parent connections..

The schools in both areas I have lived in with children have where you can access, daily/weekly grades as well as progress reports and report cards. They also list each Teachers email so you can email them.