Been served, Now what?

[NeedHelpInMo]

I've been served the papers for our divorce.  My husband and I agreed we needed this, and that I couldn't afford to file for the divorce, so he did it.  Once I got the papers I read that he is filling for sole custody.

My main question is what happens, step by step?  He has a lawyer - (I wasn't working - stayed home to take care of autistic child, and now he has cleared bank account and gets his work checks deliverd to him - so i'm without any money for a lawyer).  SO I've been served, but I don't know how to respond.  I called the courthouse and they told me that i needed to go to the library and find out what to do.  What?!?!  They were no help.  I've seen lawyers who know just what to do, but they won't tell me how to do it on my own.  Anyone know how to contest something like this?   Or where i can get help/started???

[mistoffolees]

Start by going to see a lawyer. Most attorneys will give you the first consultation free.

The specifics will vary by state. But in many states, you can go to an attorney and your stbx will end up paying since you've stayed home to take care of a child. He can not just clear your bank accounts, either - in most states you are entitled to half of all assets accumulated during the marriage.

If the assets are substantial, you may be able to find an attorney to handle the case on the premise that the husband will end up footing the bill.

[awakenlynn]

Also, check to see if your state has a legal aid department.  I know IA and IL both do.  If you are near a local law university, most of them are starting to have Family Law clinics that might help too.

[reaper666]

One of the first things you need to do is to file a response.  I am going to assume for a moment that you are going to do this on your own since you state you have no money for an attorney.  A lot depends on what state you are in.  One of the first things is look up the divorce laws in your state.  Most states have a website that give you the laws.  Be prepared to have your brain fried and spend many hours.  But it can be done.  Once you have that now you have something on your side.  As has been said some attorneys will give you the first visit free.  Many law students will help you on a free or almost free basis they need that for their classes.  You can learn alot from online law libraries too.  I happen to be in NJ so I can use Rutgers law online library.  Find something similar.  Be prepared for the long haul and that nothing will be easy.  Then if things work out better you are a step ahead.  Try to get as much informationi as you can quickly so that you can file your response on time along with any counter-claim you have.  This would be you answering whatever he claims and your claims to go with it.  Most courts have what is called a pro se kit.  Since you are on a tight time frame now I would go there and see what they have.  It is a lot of reading but points you at least in the right direction.  Let us know what state and maybe we can give you some more insight.