How do you pay your part of medical bills?

[Crockpot]

DH is responsible for 1/2 of kids medical bills not covered by insurance.  On Friday BM handed (through kids) DH three bills from local clinic.  They're for co-pays on recent visits.  Nothing has been paid on them.

So, DH owes $45 of these bills.  Do most pay the parent with the bill and let that parent submit payment to clinic?

[lucky]

I would always pay the clinic my share directly.  I know dh's ex's would spend the cash and the bill would not get paid in a timely manner if at all.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[mo7818]

Question..if the bill is in the other parents name then technically they are 100% responsible for the bill in the eyes of the invoicer ~ so why don't you pay the parent your half of the bill BUT make sure you make a copy of the check before mailing it to the other parent and then get a copy from your bank as proof that the other parent received the money. After that who cares how they spend that money!?!? You have proof that you paid and that they received the money. If they decide to go on a shopping spree then they are the ones that will have to come up with the money when the insurance money comes looking for it. You already paid your share.

My son's father refuses to pay his court ordered half but since I can't tell the medical billers to get the other half from him I pay the whole thing and when his share of the money comes in then I will spend it on stuff that I couldn't spend the money on when I was having to pay the whole bill myself.

I hope that helps.

[Crockpot]

Both responses help - thanks.  I asked because if DH gives BM his 1/2 she'll spend it and won't pay the bill.  And I guess we don't really care if she pays it or not, it's in her name.  I just really hate giving her money.  She'll probably find a way to get the state to pay the girls bills (she recently was fired from her job) and she'll double dip on this one.

[mo7818]

I need to get this out - not directed just at you BUT your comment "I just really hate giving her money" is not helping the situation. Regardless of how you feel about her doesn't really have anything to do with you paying your half of court ordered medical bills. You have to pay it so just pay it, but make sure you cover your butt ~ if she decides to blow the money on something else SO WHAT!!! You can't control what she does anymore than she can control what you.

The reason why I am so upset about this is because I'm sure that is what my son's dad and new wife say about me. And it is lame because I still have to pay that bill regardless of if he follows the court order or not. I almost have a medical bill paid off, and I have been sending him copies of the bills for months and no help from him. By the time I get the money from him I will be able to spend it on what ever I want because the bill will be paid off. Why can't he just give me what he is court ordered to give me!!! Why do I have to jump through hoops for him to do what he is court ordered to do.

Sorry, I am just extremely frustrated my current situation ~ I just needed to blow off some steam. It just seems to be that so many problems could be avoided if people would just do what they are court ordered to :(

I'm just saying LOL

[Crockpot]

Sorry if my post upset you.  But I still hate to give her money. :)  DH pays his part and then some.    

I just know it will never get to where it needs to go. BM buys herself tatoos before getting her daughter a promised b-gift.  This is the 2nd year in a row she's not gotten her something (but the oldest is lavished with gifts).

Take care!

PS don't worry so much about what people think of you.  They are NOT worth it!

[majorpain]

Hello, If you know someone in the medical coding aspect of the inflated medical industry, ask if they can help you interpret the billing. I am fortunate that my new wife has that exp. My ex who is the sister of that witch that lives up north will take things for what they are. There is always a % that the provider will settle for. Therefore I would contact the provider of the health service and the ins. company if there is one and barter for use of no better word. The medical community will get what ever they can take. Alot of times just the billing code can mean the difference between coverage at the max or not. Oh yes, I would pay the bill directly to the provider. It sets an example that the other person can never hold against you. One less phone call is always better. Good luck.

[Cookiemomma4]

> I have been sending him copies of the bills for
>months and no help from him. By the time I get the money from
>him I will be able to spend it on what ever I want because the
>bill will be paid off. Why can't he just give me what he is
>court ordered to give me!!! Why do I have to jump through
>hoops for him to do what he is court ordered to do.
>

Why waste your time and energy to do all that?  Seriously?  Give him a copy, send a copy certified giving him 30 days to respond (or however long you are comfortable with), and if you hear nothing submit it to your local child support enforcement .  Domestic relations will tack it onto what he owes if all paperwork is in order.  The way you are doing it now only frustrates you and lets him play you.  Don't wait for him to be responsible or give him control of your emotions (anger/frustration) ...taking action once or twice will most likely change his tune and he will understand that it is a responsibility of his that you are not taking lightly.


To the OP, I would pay the provider directly if you are concerned with her actually paying the bill and provide the ex with proof of payment...also, of course, keep a copy for yourself in case it comes up again in the future.  Yes, if she is responsible for the bill, it is her credit but it is also your children's future medical care (most practitioners won't see a patient again unless the account is kept current, IF the child has to go back again and you are slammed with a bigger bill due now, you can prove why.).  ALSO, there is a likelyhood that if left unaccounted for, eventually it could effect your child's credit which is so wrong but a reality.

[MixedBag]

3 divorces, and for all three I've paid the provider directly.

Lucky brought up a good point, about giving the money to the other parent and then the bill still might not get paid.  EX#3's EX managed to get a few offices to put bills on his credit report and while we fought off and won on a few, there were still some stubborn ones out there -- all that happened BEFORE we found this site and knew our rights (or his rights) totally.

One of the EX's thinks they know insurance backwards and forwards, but they don't get the medical side of the house, so I usually find myself confirming that all of the insurance policies in effect have in fact processed a claim.

Honestly, THAT's step one -- ALWAYS.

That usually results in calling the provider's office and providing them with more insurance information and waiting for another claim to process.

IF and when there's a balance left over, 99% of the time, I've paid the provider directly.  

I've even paid before EXs paid, and had company adjust and complete all the write-offs that weren't taken.......and if EX signed for the care, and I know I paid what the decree says, I just let it go.

One thing this allowed me to do was to put $'s on our flexi-medical account through EX#3's employer (which made it pre-tax $'s), and then the provider's office accepted that "credit" card.  None of the EX's could do that.  Don't have that option anymore, but that's an idea I wanted to share.....because if it's available, it would save you (or anyone) some $'s.

[mo7818]

Thank you for your advice. I will definately do what needs to be done and let DCSS handle it. So annoying though.

Thanks