What would you do? HELP!!

[MyAngels4]

Ok, my SD is here 50/50, and we seem to be able to find clothes that fit her. Larger around the middle, but short in length, or else I hem them. Her BM keeps sending her in pants that are 6'' too long, and with her special needs with walking, we continually see her tripping over them. She wears them here to our house from school and they are washed and she wears them home, and sometimes she is in them the following week, sometimes  a different pair that is also too long. I hemmed a pair from her mom's a couple years ago, and she wrote and demanded I don't do that, well hubby said to write back and say that we will hem them if they are making her trip. So I have hemmed (not cut off tho)
a few pairs over the last couple years, but this time hubby says to cut them and hem them. He and I are just really tired of seeing her trip in pants that are way too long. I know that if it was me, I would apprieciate someone taking the time to hem my DD's clothes for her.
What would you do?

MyAngels4

[joni]

this is a game of control.  mom's messing with ou.  the minute that child steps into your home, get her out of those clothes.  have a few outfits for her at your home and KEEP THEM.  don't send your clothes to her mother.

send the child home in the clothes she came to your house.  that'll take the wind out of her sails.

[MyAngels4]

Oh, we do take her out of them at bed time. We don't send her clothes from here to her Mom's.
Our main problems is that they are endangering SD.  It would only take her mom 10-15 minutes to hem them herself, so that she isnt endangered.

The day she comes here she is probably in them since 7:30am till about 7:30pm. Then here for three days before she goes back to her BM's in them.

I really want to hem them like hubby says, but I know her BM is going to be PO'ed.

Myangels4

[HeavenSent]

Believe it or not, I've dealt with the exact same issue about hemming SS's pants.

How old is SD?  
What does she know of the situation?

[MyAngels4]

She's 8, and doesnt know anything about it, other than she trips over them.

Myangels4

[MyAngels4]

I cut them and hemmed them. Not to PO the BM, but after really talking it over with hubby, it was because of SD, I did it. We'll just wait and see if her BM notices it, maybe she won't. I am pretty good with a needle and thread, somedays, lol.

MyAngels4

[Troubledmom]

In a situation where the pants length and/or ability to cuff them are an issue that impededs walking... I would hem. BUT I would first take a picture of child in the pants to show the length a video showing the difficulty walking in them would be even better. That way if this particular issue ever gets raised in court you have sound documentation as to why you made the alterations.

True Story:
A father was taken to family court to have his parenting time reduced after mother alledged that father was disfiguring the child's clothing that mother provided by court order.

What was the disfiguring of the clothing mother was alledging? Father was taking the clothing to a professional seamstress to have the clothing altered to fit the child, a dwarf, with shorter arms and legs than the average child.

Mother lost and was ordered to reimburse father for half of the alterations he had done. He won in part because he took photos of the clothing on the child PRIOR to alterations and after AND because he had been order to pay above guideline child support for the special clothing needs of the child (which was why mother was ordered to provide clothes for parenting time with father).

TM

[MyAngels4]

Thanks for that story, it is similar to our story. I do take pictures, I have a whole folder of them. Sometimes we try cuffing them, but they dont always stay, so I usually just tack up the hem, so that it can be undone. This time I didn't, so if she does take us to court, I at least have the pictures. I find that if I buy her capri's, in the larger waist size, they fit her perfect length wise, so I don't have to hem alot of the clothes we get her.

Thanks,
MyAngels4

[HeavenSent]

You made the right decision.  Since SD knows nothing of the tension between you and BM about the issue, then you just do the right thing...  The pants need fixin', so fix um!

In my case, SS did know the situation so I had to be a bit more tactful.  but I still hemmed the pants.