Proper medical and dental care; what constitutes neglect?

[joni]

excellent...thanks for that link

[Kboeds]

Had to chime in here.

my3sons... I applaud you for stepping in taking care of your childrens medical needs.

I'm not a nurse so don't take this wrong, but I can see where a nurse, would feel she can take care of most things that come up. The fact that she is a nurse is probably why she doesn't take them.
Not excusing her just thinking out loud.

I have to say though, I would rather have 3 healthy children that mom doesn't take to the dr, then the ex my DH has that takes the kids to the Dr so much we never know what is going to be wrong with them from week to week. I think bm has Munchausen in a different form then what you see and read about. She doesn't make them sick like they show on T.V. She just feeds off the problems they do have.. She just keeps telling the Dr's, he/she isn't better do more, do more instead of taking care of her children properly herself. You think fighting that a parent is medically neglectful for not taking healthly children to the Dr. is hard, try fighting a parent that (Loves her children soooo much that she takes them to the Dr all the time because they are Soooooo sick) B*** S***

The courts listen to her and say awwww.. this poor mother has all this burden with all these sick kids. She is such a good mother, no illness will get by her.  You just want to strangle the legal system and say your right, no illness will get by her because she is the one who concocted it.
(Duh!!)

Sorry for the rant..
my3sons... Be oh so thankful that you have healthy children who are allowed to stay that way.  I would also wonder if part of the reason she doesn't do it is because she knows you will. If she didn't get the kids shots, they would be kicked out of school. Has it ever gotten to that point before you did it for her and paid the 100% of the uninsured protion? Not to upset you more... but she may just be playing you.

Good luck

Kb

[kitten]

> We're going through something similar,
>also wondering if we're dealing with neglect.  My SD has 3-5
>cavities, that you can actually see, for over 6 months and BM
>has not taken her to have them filled.  She's had 3
>appointments, but hasn't made it to one.  And BM has been
>through dental hygine school.  

Gotta give my $.02 here.  One of the reasons a friend of mine got full custody of his 6 yo daughter is because of a cavity gone untreated.  It IS neglect.  A lot of people think dental work is not that urgent, however having been a dental assistant at one time, I can tell you that untreated cavities usually abcess which is VERY painful and can be very dangerous so close to the brain.  I would get copies of the childs dental chart proving the diagnosis and the missed appointments.  The office staff writes EVERTHING in the chart including failed appointments.  Not sure your custody agreement, but your DH should get SD an appointment ASAP and take her to it, ask that they document in the chart that Dad brought her.  Also, just because she went through hygeine school does not mean she understands the cavity part.  Hygeinists do cleanings.  We like to refer to them as 'Oral Janitors'.  They're just there to clean up after lunch.  LOL

[my3sons]

I'm my3sons new wife.  Was following what all had to say about the medical.  It's not that the 3 children are so healthy- she just lets it go till either my husband or myself takes the kids.  She is always either sleeping, has some event going on in her life to prevent her from going, etc.  As for the dentist...think she wanted us to start it back up so that she didn't have to hear all about the rotting teeth in their mouths.  We are the ones who had to explain the horrible condition of their teeth.  (and it was very embarassing- they had rotten roots that had broken off in their mouths)  She has shown no care for these children what-so-ever.  They are just a meal ticket to her.  She gets a check each month- which she has used for trips for herself, to by  a new car (it was not needed, just wanted), to go tanning, and to get things like her nails done.  She has even stated how they are out of "her" house when they turn 18.  Sorry know that I went off subject a bit but it seems to me that the courts want abuse to be proven, not neglect.  How much in danger of their health does it have to be to say enough is enough.  I have a child with an ex of my own and would never dream of putting my child at risk

thanks for letting me get that out.

tef

[Troubledmom]

Legal Definitions
The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) provides minimum standards for definitions. CAPTA states,

"The term 'child abuse and neglect' means, at a minimum, any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm" (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g(2)


So unless her neglect of the children meets that criteria, it won't fly.

TM

[my3sons]

Thanks for the reply.  Sadly, I think you are correct.  It's a shame that the law doesn't consider a parent to be neglectful unless the child is dead or seriously hurt.  Unless you are a licensed pediatrician, I do not agree with anyone who says that they are capable of diagnosing their children's illnesses, both medical and dental, for five years and that going to a pediatrician and dendist is unecessary.  But that's the sad world we live in.  Nobody cares until somebody gets hurt or dies, and then we all gasp, act shocked, and use the gift of hindsight to judge what "should have been done".  

[Troubledmom]

One of the things to consider, is filing contempt on Mom for NOT following the court order and obtaining the routine medical/dental care as ordered by the court.

Although you may not get the contempt at least you are establishing a paper trail that shows her unwillingness to provide adequet medical/dental care.  A trail that could provide a way to get primary placement.

TM

[my3sons]

Thank you for the response.  I actually did file for the contempt  for two counts; one for not following the order and one for failure to pay support (she is required to pay 50% of the uncovered medical expenses - I provide the insurance) because she has not only refused to take them to the doctor or dentist, but she hasn't helped chip in to pay for it either.  Her hearing is on the 11th of April.  I agree with you though that although they may not grant my request, it will raise awareness in the court.