Nice call last night.

[Ref]

I just wanted to share. I haven't spoken w. SD since December. DH has had some rough conversations with her in between, but I actually haven't spoken to her.

I didn't think about it much. I guess I blocked out how much I missed her.

Last night she returned DH's call. I answered the phone and it was sooooo great to talk to her. I couldn't believe how much I missed her and didn't even know it. We spoke for a while about what was going on in her life. No weirdness. Just regular talking and joking.

DH spoke with her and she invited us and her Gma to go to her High School graduation. I am really looking forward to it.

Ofcourse when the warm fuzzies cooled down, my mind crept back to suspecting her building up to ask (demand) for a car again. Oh well. I'll enjoy the good feelings while they last.

Take care
Ref

[Crockpot]

Sounds like step in the right direction.  Hopefully it keeps up!

Take care.

[iceclimber]

you don't see her regularly?

[Ref]

No. SD lives in Florida and we live in PA.  From the time she was 3-11 DH's parenting agreement said he had rights to "reasonable visitation".  Unfortuately reasonableness was defined by whatever BM thought was reasonable. This meant one week in the winter and two weeks in the summer and a weekend around SD's bday.

DH was distraut and missed his daughter and tried to see SD more. BM refused visitation to the point that once we flew down to Florida and BM  wouldn't answer the door. That was when SD was 11. That was when DH filed for modification to define visitation and THAT was when BM filed for an increase in support.

All DH wanted was 4 weeks over the summer. BM had disowned ALL of her family and SD had little sense as to what having family was all about. DH and I have close family.

Anyway, BM sued again and lost AGAIN. With every court loss, her alienation towards DH increased. It used to be that her phone would be off the hook for a couple days if she and DH had a disagreement. Now she changed her phone number. It was too much to detail here.

SD believed her and was used terribly by BM to get back at DH for winning his cases. DH took the high road and BM filled her head with lies. This did not work well for DH.  Things got worse and SD stopped calling here except to ask for money.

Just over the past month or so she is getting better. We literally went 3 months without getting a callor an email back from her.

Anyway, that is some of my story. You can hear is over and over by people on this board. It is sad but comforting to know others are out there who understand.

Take care
Ref

[iceclimber]

that's terrible. i'm so sorry to hear that.

i'm sure you are DH's rock.

i will pray for you all and that now SD will be out of grade school, the relationship can be rekindled. there are still some good years ahead.

[MixedBag]

SD Actually graduates this upcoming year!

If I remember correctly, grades were a problem these past years.

(Can't believe she's a SENIOR!)

[Ref]

Yeah. She did pretty terrible last year. She is retaking the class that she failed and that was required. She told me that her old F will be wiped out with her new grades for the class she is retaking and should bring her up to an A. That and the fact that the public schools where she lives push kids out the door FAR too easily, I think she will be wearing the cap and gown this year.

Her real problem was attendance. She was only doing bad in the classes that she missed 20+ days in. She is so smart. I think the incentive to send her money if she gets perfect attendance was a good move. I only wish I thought of it years ago.

She actually called again when DH was out of town and I spoke with her for an hour. She told me about a college fair that she went to.  She was so nice. I really am a sucker and want to believe that she really just wanted to chat, but I have some doubts.

Isn't it amazing. The horrible thing about kids is how fast they grow up and the wonderful thing about ex's is that the kids grow up so quickly.

I first started posting here, I think, around Spring of 2001. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I am so grateful. I actually feel like I can start planning MY life. DH and I are going to start trying for a family of our own soon. I am sure that will come with its own challenges, but I am excited.

Take care,
Ref

[iceclimber]

by waiting to have children afterward. it stinks that your life has been on hold and with a dark cloud looming at all times.
my husband and i have three children together (5 in all). the tension of the conflict ridden situation definitely affects the entire family... including the little ones. at times i just wish i could be a mom without the struggle. it will happen one day.

i believe CONGRATS are in order..... to the beginning

......... and THE END. ;)

[Davy]

..... thanks for sharing