Enough Grounds

[Imom]

Soc,

Co oreder simply states which parent has child at this or that time, joint legal, etc. NO stipulations of any kind ie pick up times, exchange of information, out of state travel, moving, etc.......other then bm pick up at beg. dh at end.

We have had our share of problems, bm filed for custody reversal in 2002 (dh has physical during school year). Which the court denied and simply allowed phone calls between parent and child. So that was one thing that was fixed. (as we always had ss call her, she would not allow ss to call dh)

At the time of court our attorney stated we could not bring up issues, ie: pick times, etc. As since there is none stated we pick ss up from bm's the day before school resumes and then must drive 10 hours to get home. Well bm wanted us to wait until 5pm on the day before school resumes.

Our attorney said we had to wait until after court and something to this effect happened again. Well after court we tried to get along with bm and offered to write an agree stipulation.

Well that has fallen through and we have gone back to the co. However there now is a new issue.

Bm meet a man about a year ago and up until T-giving she only spent the night with this man, no mention she moved in, no notice, dh still has continued to send her mail at her old address (along with sending ss letters while he was there over the summer to her old address).

So bm get ss for T-giving the day before or the day of pick up no mention of a move again. So T-giving day ss calls dh but were not home, dh returns call next day.

BM gets on phone, because dh sent her a letter about pick up that Sunday and will meet at her old addy (we meet at the church down the street). Bm starts a fight with dh because she has moved and he must drive all the way there (its another 45 mins. South).

Dh stood his ground and told her she never informed him of a move or provided him with a new addy, and in fact she received her letter at her old addy (she lived with her gp's).  Told her until she does then he will pick up at the old addy, and when she does inform him then great he will meet her there at her new addy.

She told him she lived in a town called Byram, well they got disconnected she called back got voice mail and stated on the voice mail she now lives in Byram but gave no addy.

OKay here is where we are torn, I tried to explain to dh that he must assume bm stays with the bf, Because if we can not reach bm on her cell thats where she can be reached. However, I understand what he says she had/has not informed him of a move and is refusing to give him her addy.

Plus she still gets mail at her old addy (or at least the gp's are still acceptiing dh's letters to bm? as they are signning for them).

I will tell you on my own I reversed the bf's phone number its listed in a town Terry and not Byram. I called info and they stated that the prefix is a Jackson prefix (Mississippi) but infact that number is listed to xxxx at xxxxxx, Terry Ms (the bf) and not Byram.

So as of yet no word from bm, dh has typed up a letter simply stating that due to the issue at T-giving there was a mention of a move and no notice was or has been givin to him or has she provided him with a new address and until she does he will assume she still lives at the old addy and thats where we will pick ss up at the end of her time.


Springbreak is her next visit, if she provides dh with no notice, no new addy. And once dh gets there for pick at the end and she refuses to bring ss to him and dh has to go retrive ss.

1. Would this be enough grounds to file something to clear up the co, all issues, and not just the one here.

[socrateaser]

>1. Would this be enough grounds to file something to clear up
>the co, all issues, and not just the one here.

Yes, you need to offer the other parent a proposed parenting plan addressing all of these issues, and if they refuse to stipulate to something reasonable, then you can ask the court to clarify the parent's roles and responsibilities for you, on grounds that the current ambiguities in the orders are causing acrimony between parties and are not in the child(ren)'s best interests.

Make a written offer, even if it's just a letter requesting a settlement conference, and if the other parent refuses to communicate or dismisses your offer out of hand, then file a motion to modify/clarify your parenting plan.

[Imom]

We will try that first.

Here will be the biggest issue. (the fact we can not use fact before the court hearing in 2002/2003). However,

It will soon becomes about a 11 hour drive (because of her move).

In the past bm has always been allowed picked up at 3:30pm the day school was released (unless she was late by her own doing).  Then at the end of visit we always picked up at 8am the day before school resumes. (the issue of dh picking ss up at 8am on the day before school starts has been a real big issue she wants him to wait until 5pm and the drive hom 10 hours)

The order came back July 2003, I called bm and asked her if we offer a settlement would that ease the tension, she wanted to meet halfway. Dh agree to try this for a while first but told her the only time he would not agree first off was T-giving.

We met for x-mas that year, springbreak, and summer. However with this year T-giving we find out that school had a new calender therefore dh would agree to meet And told her after this time she needed to sign an agreement and be done.

BM decides she wants to drive all the way here instead of meeting, Thus the fight was on again about her pick up time.  BM decides after ss has been in school 4 years she now wants to pick up from school and meet the Teachers, etc. Her meeting the Teachers, etc is her right.

DH disagrees about her picking ss up, he wants ss to be able to come home say bye to brothers, change clothes and get his meds. Then I take ss to say bye to dad and drop ss off to mom. (Now this has not been a problem in the past, even though bm says so).

Shool is out at 2:45 he wants bm to wait 45mins. for pick up.  The other problem is dh works until 5pm. (not for sure what the court would say, we do have the first right refusal in the state guidelines but that only referse to none family memebers)

SS can not take the meds to school himself, sure dh could drop them off but the nurse is not always there and they rather not get into the middle. They may misplace them, etc.

1. Is dh being unreasonable about pick up time of 3:30 v. 2:45 at school.

2. If yes, what about ss's meds.

3. Is it unreasonable to ask for a pick up time for dh at 8am on the day before school resumes? (10/11 hour drive one way)

4. If so what would be?