Guardianship, Trial over...

[SLYarnell]

Soc,

We had the California guardianship where the guardians divorced due to domestic violence in the home and the "guardian father" moving all 6 children including SD into his parents home.

We filed to terminate for the 2nd time due to changed circumstances.

Well the hearing was the 20th and we lost yet again... The judge said in his ruling that he was sure my husband would be a "great dad" and he wanted to commend me on my testimony and stated my SD was "lucky" to have me as a mother figure BUT that due to the passage of time, and the fact that my 14yo SD wanted to stay where she was, he had to rule against us.

The lesson we have learned here is never ever ever assume that a guardianship will be temporary and you can have your child returned after you are back on your feet... in California your rights as a parent fall WAY down the line.

In one fell swoop my husband lost his wife (she died) and his daughter, she was hidden and abused for YEARS but because they managed to keep her long enough for her to bond they get to keep her...

Oh and BTW... they get about $1500 a month to have her there each and every month... not bad I would say!

[socrateaser]

I'm sorry. Really. The entire system is absurd, in my opinion, because the implication of a court trying to discover "the child's best interests" is that the judge will hear the facts and arguments of both sides, and then, unlike with any other legal issue, he/she will rule based on an opinion as to what is likely to occur in the future.

Anyone, in any field of endeavor, who attempts to make serious decisions based upon his/her ability to consistently and accurately predict the future is a fool -- and I include in this group, judges, physicians, and anyone else, who attempts to do it, because it cannot be done. People have attempted such feats since the beginning of time, seers, fortune tellers,  astrologists, mediums, stock market gurus, and the like, and without exception, each and every person who has ever tried has absolutely failed, based upon any reasonable evaluation.

Doubters should immediately proceed to //www.randi.org and try to win the $1,000,000 prize. Many have tried -- all have failed.

Anyway, what's important is, that it's one thing to prescribe amoxicilin for an ear infection and to expect a high probability of recovery, and quite another thing to award custody of a child to a particular person, and to expect a superior outcome over an 18 year time span visa vis awarding that custody to some other person who is aparently just as capable.

The idea that the court should try to pick the better custodian instead of turning the child over to a reasonably fit parent is, frankly, quackery in the extreme. The judge cannot possibly know that your SD will turn out better or worse in the hands of a guardian, than were your SD in your custody, any more than the judge can possibly know the closing numbers of the Dow Jones Industrials tomorrow at 4PM Eastern Daylight Time. Only God is capable of this sort of predictive power -- and judges, despite their likely protestations, are not quite at that elevated level of intellect.

But, the beat goes on, and legislatures, jurists, social workers and psychologists are alike in their continuing to pander what I hope will someday be recognized as being a complete and utter farce.

Unfortunately, I don't know when that day will come, because, of course, in order to make that sort of prediction, I would need to be -- God.

There is no "best interests of the child." It's a sublime fantasy. There are just parents and children, all trying to make their way down the road of life, best as they can with their limited vision of the bumps ahead.

Judges should tell parents "You had this kid, so you better work it out, because if you don't I'll put both of you on a work crew picking up refuse on the highway for a few days, until you decide that it's more fun to cooperate raising your child." I can promise you that this sort of solution would obtain the best interests of the child a lot faster than any custody evaluation.

But, that's just my humble opinion, of course.

Once again, you have my profound empathy/sympathy.

[reagantrooper]

Soc

Your words are awsome they truly reflect your wisdom! The "best interest of the child" line is great and so true.

I like your idea of a parents work crew. I think if my X and I where made to do something like this it would make a world of difference in our Daughters up coming teen years.

I realise it always takes two to tango however I truly believe I try to cooperate with my co-parent. But for some reason we seem to always end up in court. I just cant seem to except her my way or the highway atitude when it comes to our Daughter.

Thanks for what you do here!