Re: Teenage Boys - Court Date

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

I wanted to ask a few questions for clarification purposes, based on the ending comments you made from my last reply:

>The master knows that your ex is on the ropes, and that she's >screwing herself over, thus his comments about "at your peril." Just >keep on the "high road." It's got to be about the kid's best interests, >not about you trying to get your ex to "hang herself."

>PS. If you're planning on examining your ex during a contempt >hearing, don't forget, that your ex cannot be compelled to testify >against herself, and the judge will remind her of that before the >hearing begins.

1.  Question:  Just so I understand the above comments, are you saying that I cannot call the Mother to the witness stand, or I can, but she can pick and choose what she may respond to or answer?

2.  Question:  Could excerpts from court room transcripts be used as evidence against the Mother, of where the Mother stated and admitted to being in contempt of court and deliberately denying visitation?  She's done nothing but make a mockery of the court both times she's appeared.

3.  Question:  Sometime this evening the Mother will be contacted by someone on my behalf, to set up a weekend of visitation with the children, if she refuses, how would I best frame this as a statement to the Judge or question to the Mother?  This is being done with the hope of being able to have visitation with the children during the X-mas holiday, per the standing court order from Dec 26 thru 2 Jan 06.


An FYI, I still plan to represent myself Pro Se when we return to court on Jan 20, 2006, and I assume the Mother will be as well.

I realize you always stress the importance of doing everything with the "best interest of the children in mind".  How is it in the children's best interest, to not have their Father involved in their lives anymore because the Mother's actions are preventing this from taking place.

I stated in my previous reply, how I was trying to have the mother hang herself, she's not playing fair and has no intentions of allowing my wife and me of ever meeting with the children again face to face.  Short of us possibly seeing them later during some after school sporting event.

This entire situation has become so frustrating, especially for my wife and our 4 month old daughter, where she thought we would be one big happy extended family, not all this chaos and mayhem, that has taken away from the happiness she deserves as a first time Mom.  I feel so guilty and torn knowing this is taking place because of me.

Thanks....

[socrateaser]

>1.  Question:  Just so I understand the above comments, are
>you saying that I cannot call the Mother to the witness stand,
>or I can, but she can pick and choose what she may respond to
>or answer?

She cannot be compelled to take the witness stand, but if she chooses to testify about anything, then she must answer all questions, except for questions related to some other crime, for which she is not currently on trial.

>2.  Question:  Could excerpts from court room transcripts be
>used as evidence against the Mother, of where the Mother
>stated and admitted to being in contempt of court and
>deliberately denying visitation?  She's done nothing but make
>a mockery of the court both times she's appeared.

Yes, they can be used, because they are independent prior testimony. However, the fact that a person may have said something like, "I know I'm in contempt, but I don't care," doesn't necessarily mean that their admission is actually proof of their contempt. Example: a person could mistakenly say that they stole a hotdog, only to discover that they had inadvertantly forgotten to take the object of the theft, by picking up an empty box instead (that person could be charged with attempted, but not actual theft.

>3.  Question:  Sometime this evening the Mother will be
>contacted by someone on my behalf, to set up a weekend of
>visitation with the children, if she refuses, how would I best
>frame this as a statement to the Judge or question to the
>Mother?  This is being done with the hope of being able to
>have visitation with the children during the X-mas holiday,
>per the standing court order from Dec 26 thru 2 Jan 06.

You would need to put that person on the stand and ask them questions that would show that they attempted to arrange the visitation on your behalf and were refused. If you try to testify to this, your statements about what the other person said or did, will be held inadmissible hearsay, under the confrontation clause, unless you were actually perceiving the conversation as it occured, and assuming that your eavesdropping was accomplished legally.

>I realize you always stress the importance of doing everything
>with the "best interest of the children in mind".  How is it
>in the children's best interest, to not have their Father
>involved in their lives anymore because the Mother's actions
>are preventing this from taking place.

The point is that you don't want to tell the judge, "My rights are being violated." You want to say, "My kids are being deprived the opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with their father, because of their mother's actions."

This is not just political correctness. You want to send the message that your kids' interests are more important to you than are your own, and that the mother is putting her interests ahead of her kids'.

>This entire situation has become so frustrating, especially
>for my wife and our 4 month old daughter, where she thought we
>would be one big happy extended family, not all this chaos and
>mayhem, that has taken away from the happiness she deserves as
>a first time Mom.  I feel so guilty and torn knowing this is
>taking place because of me.

The above is an example of a mistake that you should not make in front of a judge. Your interest is in your children from the former relationship, not in your children from the current one. It's not that they or your new wife aren't important. Rather, they are irrelevant to the judge making any legal decisions regarding you, your ex and your kids of that relationships.

Don't try to play one relationship off on the other, because most judges are relatively conservative, and usually haven't suffered a divorce of their own, so they don't necessarily "get" the problem that you face. The judge may secretly even think that people who are divorced are inferior to people who haven't been divorced.

Point being that you shouldn't gamble on a potential prejudice that may or may not exist. Better to avoid the gamble entirely.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

Thanks once again for the reply.  The statement below, was just that,
nothing more than a statement.  I was just describing where things are from my end, the Mrs. is about ready to through in the towel, feeling that we are just getting the short end of the stick, and the mother is walking away scott free, at least for the moment anyway.

>This entire situation has become so frustrating, especially
>for my wife and our 4 month old daughter, where she thought we
>would be one big happy extended family, not all this chaos and
>mayhem, that has taken away from the happiness she deserves as
>a first time Mom. I feel so guilty and torn knowing this is
>taking place because of me.

1.  Question:  So when I ask the Mother to take the witness stand, all she has to do is say that she refuses to do so, and that's the end of it, unless she's willing and wanting to?  If she does, then it's an all or nothing situation at that point?

2.  Question:  I still can't figure out why the Master separated the two motions instead of keeping them combined so they could both be dealt with on Jan 20th, instead of having to come back on Apr 25th, seems like a waste of time, especially if the Mother continues to deny visitation up until that period of time.

Thanks...

[socrateaser]

>1.  Question:  So when I ask the Mother to take the witness
>stand, all she has to do is say that she refuses to do so, and
>that's the end of it, unless she's willing and wanting to?  If
>she does, then it's an all or nothing situation at that
>point?

You cannot even call her to testify, so don't, because it will annoy the judge. She must volunteer to testify in her own defense first, and then only then can you cross-examine her.

However, if both of you are not represented by counsel, listen carefully to how she makes out her defense, because if she does something more than argue the law or introduce other witnesses, evidence, or cross-exaimine you, then at the moment that she actually testifies to something from her own personal knowledge or opinion, then she has waived her 5th Amendment Rights and you can cross-examine. After she makes this first statement, you should interrupt with something like, "Pardon me your honor, but I believe that the defendant has just testified to something of her own personal knowledge, and I ask the court to take notice that she has thereby waived her Constitutional right to refuse to submit to examination."

If this happens, your ex will get very nervous, because she won't understand but she'll know she's really !@#$%^ up.

>
>2.  Question:  I still can't figure out why the Master
>separated the two motions instead of keeping them combined so
>they could both be dealt with on Jan 20th, instead of having
>to come back on Apr 25th, seems like a waste of time,
>especially if the Mother continues to deny visitation up until
>that period of time.

You expect me to remember what the two motions are, and I don't, but if one is a contempt motion and the other is for something else, the reason is that contempt is a CRIMINAL action, and everything else is civil. The rules are totally different, so it's just and appropriate to separate the two motions.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

>You expect me to remember what the two motions are, and I don't,
>but if one is a contempt motion and the other is for something else, >the reason is that contempt is a CRIMINAL action, and everything else >is civil. The rules are totally different, so it's just and appropriate to >separate the two motions.

My apologies, the two motions in question are regarding

"Enforcement and Modification" of the existing court order and the "Contempt of Court" motion.  Both motions were initially combined
together by a Judge, prior to when I was present for the Dec 7th pre-trial conference, then of course the "Master" presiding over that hearing separated the two motions.

The Contempt of Court is to be heard on Jan 20, 2006 and the Enforce and Modify will be on Apr 25, 2006.

Thanks....