Serving Papers

[gaems143]

I(NCP) am serving papers on my ex-wife(CP) for a modificatin of custody.  She married an ex-con who was convicted of Cruelty to Children.  I am asking for:

1.  Sole legal custody
     Option 2.  Primary physical legal custody
     Option 3.  Expanded visitation
2.  Her to pay child support, mine to cease
3.  Uninsured bills to be split 50/50.
4.  To claim the kids(2) on the taxes this year and every year here after.
     (She is unemployed).
5.  Any relief the courts see fit.

Ex-wife and her new husband's house was searched about 4 months ago and guns were found in the house (he is on probation)

Is there any thing else that I should ask for?  She was in contempt for denying visitation Jan-March 2005.  Should I ask for her to pay my lawyers fees?

I want to do this right the first time and have all my bases covered.  Thanks.

[socrateaser]

>Is there any thing else that I should ask for?  She was in
>contempt for denying visitation Jan-March 2005.  Should I ask
>for her to pay my lawyers fees?

OK, let's pretend that I'm the judge. When did you first discover that your children were living with or regularly in the presence of a convicted child abuser, and why didn't you IMMEDIATELY file a motion for emergency sole custody, as soon as you discovered this fact?

I'm not saying that what you're posting isn't the truth, but if I'm sitting on the bench and you're walking in crying that the kids should be turned over to you because the new husband is a monster, then the fact that you would wait more than 24 hours gives me pause to wonder if you're any better a parent than the one who presently has primary custody.

The point is, that you must prove that there's been a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child(ren)'s best interests. This is pretty easy, if your description of the new stepparent is accurate. But, after you get your new custody hearing, then you need to prove that you are the better parent, and that's when the questions that I'm asking suddenly have some weight.

The judge could actually find that neither parent is a proper custodian, and put the kids in foster care.

Every day that the kids are in close proximity to this alleged abuser, and nothing bad happens to them, adds weight to the argument, that the alleged abuser is cured of his evil past and that the kids aren't in danger, which destroys your entire case, if you see what I'm driving at.

So, the questions are completely relevant:

1. How long have you known about the present situation?

2. Why didn't you take immediate action to get your kids out of the environment?

3. Can you prove with credible independent evidence that the kids are now in harm's way as the result of this new marriage?

If you want to do things right, then you need to have some real good answers to the above questions. If you don't, then you're wasting your time.

[gaems143]

1.  They have been married 3 years.  I found out last year by accident.  When I confronted her she denied.  I had to pull his picture off the corrections website.  I contacted a lawyer immediately.

 He said that there was nothing he could do.  He cost $6000.  He said "come back when you get a subpoena".  We were trying to raise the money and decided we couldn't.  We retained another lawyer and have been researching every since.

2.  I went to Dept. of Family and Children Services in the county they live in and they told me "it was in my best interest to not file a report", because the knew her father.

3.  The house was searched and there was 7 guns in the house.  He is on probation.  I called the Sheriffs office and they had already talked to her father and told him that the guns belonged to my son (9).  So they believe there is no immediate threat because of her father.  

[socrateaser]

>1.  They have been married 3 years.  I found out last year by
>accident.  When I confronted her she denied.  I had to pull
>his picture off the corrections website.  I contacted a lawyer
>immediately.
>
> He said that there was nothing he could do.  He cost $6000.
>He said "come back when you get a subpoena".  We were trying
>to raise the money and decided we couldn't.  We retained
>another lawyer and have been researching every since.
>
>2.  I went to Dept. of Family and Children Services in the
>county they live in and they told me "it was in my best
>interest to not file a report", because the knew her father.
>
>3.  The house was searched and there was 7 guns in the house.
>He is on probation.  I called the Sheriffs office and they had
>already talked to her father and told him that the guns
>belonged to my son (9).  So they believe there is no immediate
>threat because of her father.  

As I said previously, if this marriage has been the status quo for three years, and nothing has happened to the child, then your case very weak. Even if you believe that something bad has happened to the child, can you prove it to the court's satisfaction? If not, then you're wasting your time.

The fact that there are guns in the house and that the stepfather is on parole, is certainly bad for him, but not necessarily bad for your child. After all, if the stepfather's parole is revoked, then he will no longer be in proximity of your child.

As for the suggestions of DCFS that you "not" file a report, if it were me, and I were told that, I'd just smile -- and then file. But, you didn't, and each and every time that you make a decision to not act in what you believe to be your child's best interests, you damage your own position.

You need objective credible independent evidence that your child is in harm's way as a consequence of the mother's actions. So, if your child or a neighbor is telling you about the horrible physical or verbal beatings that he (the child) is forced to endure, then you have a case. Otherwise, not.

You can certainly file a motion and have the court rule. But, if the only evidence is that the stepparent is on parole and there are guns in the home and that the stepparent was once convicted of cruelty to children (whatever that means, exactly, and I'm not really sure myself), then I think you will lose your motion.