dontusekids.com

[StPaulieGirl]

You are so right!  I totally agree with your statement.

[FleetingMoment]

>How do your children know their Dad doesn't pay?  You told
>them?  I am very sorry that your children don't see their Dad.
> That is hard enough for them without you telling them he
>doesn't pay you money either.  

Not at all. I have very bright children. They are children who have friends of divorced parents. Friends who talk. Questions come that need to be answered. What does one say to a child who comes to them and asks them, "Does mommy or daddy give you money for me?" Suffice to say, the only answer mine ever received is No. Would you prefer that I lie to them or go into extreme details? It's not going to happen. I would never hurt my own children that way. As for their letters to him. What would you suggest? Throw them away, pretend they're delivered and their father refuses to acknowledge them? They go and continue to go into "Daddy's Box," until the time comes when there's suddenly a valid address to mail them.

>Junior High and High School are STILL children.  Still too
>young to really understand the whole situation, still
>influenced by CP.  

OR influenced by the NCP :) Works both ways. There's quite a bit a difference in learning comprehension and understanding between high schoolers and grade schoolers. They're not on honor rolls for being ignorant. They don't have mock trials, business and economic classes for lack of understanding. Adults continuously undermine the minds of teens and young adults (18) confusing it with poor judgements they can and do make at times.
>
>If my SO loses his kids to a vindictive ex, he will still have
>to pay.  She intends to live off the CS, as she is doing now.
>He will see them 3 times a year.  She tells them and will
>continue to tell them that he did not want them and that he
>does not want to pay for them either.  He paid for her college
>education because SHE wanted to be a teacher.  She has very
>good income potential, but refuses to go to work because the
>CS will be reduced.  The children cannot fully comprehend the
>truth until they have gotten both sides of the story and are
>at a point in their young adulthood to WANT to hear both
>sides.  

What he has for an ex is exactly what you described. Vindictive. But he's not a deadbeat. Definitely give them both sides of the story and hope for the day when they'll be old enough to use their own voice in a court to tell the judge they want to live with their father.

>BTW...he had been overpaying her for several months.  Do you
>think the court will make her pay him back?  Do you think she
>will be labeled for not doing so?  Do you think if he gets
>custody and she moves away, she will have to pay CS?  Will she
>be labeled a "Deadbeat Mom"?

I don't know it came to him overpaying her, but depending on the amount he could and should challenge it. Does he pay through the CSU or directly? He could prepare a statement showing the overpayment amount and ask for some of his payments to be reduced even slightly until the difference is resolved. He could also try taking her to small claims court. Do I think if he gets custody, she will have to pay CS? It's not what I think... it's the laws. Of course she will.  No one will feel any more or less sympathy towards her as they would a man. If she doesn't pay, will she be labeled a Deadbeat Mom?  Of course she will. Have you seen any of the deadbeat sites online? Deadbeat Dads "and" Moms.

[FleetingMoment]

Don't know PD. But if between the two of us we can find a way to get these uncaring deadbeat faces on a billboard, I'll recommend we put both of our deadbeats up side by side. Deadbeat Mom and Deadbeat Dad. Sounds good to me!

[FleetingMoment]

Absolutely. One word in a nutshell.

[FleetingMoment]

You're aim is lousy. Somehow the bricks keep missing. Try cement blocks... drown the voice of the other side. I have a feeling you'll do a great job of it.

You can't seem to get through a post insulting. It's a shame. So are you a bitter stepmom? What's your story that you hate me so much?

Never mind. I'll just ignore your "great advice!"

[MYSONSDAD]

The only one here who is a brick short of a full load, is YOU...

[Kitty C.]

Just taking lessons from you, probably.  Because of ALL the posts I've ever seen from you, only ONE was NOT denegrating, meant to disrupt, or displayed your own style of name-calling.  I actually agree with you on that ONE, too.  No, I did not respond as such.  But others have

You mention to another poster that you actually flat out told your own children, when they asked, that their father doesn't pay support for them.  Coming from you, I can believe that you would make such a monumetal and fatal mistake.  I don't give a damn if your children started college at age 12, they are CHILDREN.  The ONLY answer you should have given them was 'This is an adult matter and you don't need to be concerned about it.  You WILL be taken care of, no matter what.'

Sure, children are smart.  And if they all are as smart as yours, why don't we lower the age for driver's licenses or drinking or voting for them?  We DON'T because tho they may be intelligent, they do NOT have the capacity to make those kinds of decisions.  We have the laws we do because of their MATURITY, NOT their intelligence.  They are impulsive.  I've picked up enough bodies of kids off of roads, including one 2 days ago, to know that giving them the benefit of the doubt on their intelligence but not considering their mental maturity is a sure way of guaranteeing that you will be burying them.

It's ATTITUDE, FM.  Your holier-than-thou attitude that comes thru blatantly in every post where you KNOW everyone is wrong and you are the only one who's right.  I don't give a damn what you think of me or any name you can call me.  But if you truly want to spread your diatribe somewhere where others would really listen to you, take it elsewhere.  

And if you don't like my 'advice', then don't respond!  And that goes for everyone else here, too!

[MYSONSDAD]

You are one of the most respected posters here.

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

This is one sick cookie. She is damaging the integrity of this board. I can only imagine what new comers are thinking when they read her garbage.

Reminds me of a poster we had here six months ago, you know who I mean...GB

Like a snake in the grass, ready to spew her venom.

"Children learn what they live"

[speciallady]

>Absolutely. One word in a nutshell.


You're saying you'd advocate/support a similar contest regarding CP's denying visitation via court orders??

See, that's the difference here between yourself and others here (myself being a long time member for over 5 years now-had to change my posting name due to my husbands ex stalking me)---

I don't, nor will ever support something that could NOT be in the best interest of a child/ren! Promoting or even thinking that public humiliation of a child's parent in any way, shape or form is in their best interest is just beyond normal thinking.....