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Should I even try...

Started by cupobutter, Mar 21, 2006, 06:25:12 AM

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cupobutter

Case details: Divorce finalized July 1995 in Idaho.  Joint custody with him having primary.  I was allowed visitation, but no terms were ever set up.  In court papers he was to let me know of his and our daughter's address and phone number, he was also ordered to allow me contact with daughter.

    Shortly after divorce he disapeared, a few months later he contacted me and asked me to move to Utah where he was now living, and gave me contact information.  When I refused he cut off all contact, and eventually disapeared.  Myself, I was homeless and working on getting my GED, so I had no resources to find him or to hire legal help.

  I went on state assistance around 1997-98, and have just recently made enough money to get off of it.  Now I finally have a phone and some internet access.  I've located ex and child in Arizona.

1.) I found out that I've owed CS all these years, and am now saving the money for it.  Where do I send the money? (AZ or ID)

2.) Will the courts allow me to see my daughter after all of these years?

3.) Visitation:   What are my chances of the courts ruling in my favor, based off of his lack of notification to the courts of his whereabouts? (I've always lived in the same small town, and can be easily found through CS office if he wanted to find me.)

4.) Should I try to fight for seeing my child, or should I just let it go until she's 18?

Thank you, I tried to follow your guidelines as best as I could.
Nic.

socrateaser

>1.) I found out that I've owed CS all these years, and am now
>saving the money for it.  Where do I send the money? (AZ or
>ID)

What is the EXACT text of your support order?

Do you still live in ID?

Has any government agency contacted you and demanded support payments? If yes, then who, and what EXACTLY does the contact documentation consist of (and say)?

Is there a current court action pending (motion to modify custod/support, motion for judgment of arrears, etc.)?

>
>2.) Will the courts allow me to see my daughter after all of
>these years?

Custody and support are two different issues. If you originally had court ordered visitaiton/custody with your child, and nothing has changed, then the fact that you may be in arrears in support does not prevent you from continuing to exercise your custody/visitation rights.

Your ex cannot refuse you access to the child, based solely on your failure to pay support. Only the court can do that.

>
>3.) Visitation:   What are my chances of the courts ruling in
>my favor, based off of his lack of notification to the courts
>of his whereabouts? (I've always lived in the same small town,
>and can be easily found through CS office if he wanted to find
>me.)

I don't know what the current status of your case is or what the court may be considering, if anything.


>4.) Should I try to fight for seeing my child, or should I
>just let it go until she's 18?

I don't know. That's up to you to decide.

>
>Thank you, I tried to follow your guidelines as best as I
>could.

You did good.

cupobutter

1.) I'm not sure.  I misplaced my divorce papers after I got my driver's license.  BUt, I'm sending for a new one.  In 2001 CS in Utah took my taxes.  And sent me a couple of letters, so I called them trying to get info on my ex's whereabouts.  But, I never heard another thing about it, and even started getting my taxes again.

Thank you.
:-)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      By the way, he contacted me through email yesterday.  

      It's the first time I've heard from him in 10 yrs.  He must have seen my postings on line searching for my daughters whereabouts, and used my email address.  This is what he said, if you have an opinion of what I should do:

"it would seem that this was bound to happen sooner or later.i would like to think that after all these years you have done as much growing up as i have and that you want what is best for s____ so i will give that
the benefit of the doubt and initiate a conversation that could possibly open the doors for proper communication. this is the only medium of
communication i am currently comfortable with so i hope you understand.looking forward to hearing from you in a civil manner soon."

Giggles

WOW...that sounds like a GREAT step in the right direction for you and establishing a relationship with your daughter!!!  As I stated before, be paitent and I'm sure it will happen!!! CONGRATS!!
Now I'm living....Just another day in Paradise!!