Petty Visitation Issues

[Princess Mommy]

Dear Soc,
     
      You helped me once before with a similar issue and your advice was, as always, spot on. So I am turning to you again mostly in hopes of gaining insight on how to proceed. Right now I am Dad despite the screenname.

    The facts are simple and I will try to be as brief as possible. The divorce was 1998, Kansas has juridiction, Dad is military and has never resided in Kansas so it has been a long distance plan from the beginning. Dad has joint/joint custody. Dad is currently overseas, and has been for the past 4 years.  Dad's parenting time is all summer and has not been hampered by the overseas assignmnet.

    Orders state Dad's parenting time begins on the morining of the thrid day after school ends for summer. This year that is May 28. Orders states parties to split transportation by Father providing all transportation to his home and mother providing the return transportation to hers. Since being stationed overseas parents have split the costs of round trip plane tickets.

     The court order further states that "all disputes between the parties must be submitted to XXXXX Mediation Services".

    This year mother wants to keep the children an extra week at the beginning of summer so that one child can participate in a dance class. Father initially said no, as he was not notified until the day he was to purchase plane tickets (and had advised mother on Jan 1 that this is the date he would purchase tickets).

    Mom's lawyer called my home on Feb 16 (this is how I was notified- Mom never said one word about it) and stated that he would be filing a motion- but was unclear on exactly what. He stated that Dad would be served "as soon as possible", but that is the last I have heard about it.

   Dad later agreed to mother's wishes provided he got the week of time made up at the end of summer and that the arrangements do not change in the future. Keeping the kids an extra week causes them to miss the first few days of school which Dad is against. Mother agreed to this provision and Dad had his lawyer write up the agreement to be filed as an ammendment to the parenting plan.

   When Mother recieved the agreement for her signature, she changed her mind and now states she wants a stipulation that children can stay an extra week with her each and every year "if they have activities planned".
Dad refuses this altogether- summer is the only parenting time he has and he does not want to miss a single day, as well as it not being in the children's best interest to miss the beginning of school each year.

   Dad says he will now only follow the court order and since mother refuses to cooperate he will buy one-way plane tickets for the children and mother can make her own arrangements for the children to get back at the end of summer. It is important to know that 2 round trip tickets cost $3298.00 and two one way tickets cost $3125.00 so it is obvioulsy in everyone's best financial interests to split the round trip as usual, but this cannot be done without cooperation from both sides which is not happening right now.

   Dad contacted XXXX Mediation Services to mediate this dispute as per the court orders. Mother refuses mediation. Mediation Services told Dad that the reason she refuses to mediate is because she would have to pay for the services and she does not believe she should have to.

   I have not heard anything definitive from either lawyer as of yet. My lawyer says she can file a "motion to compel" so that Mom has to surrender the children on the court ordered date. So far this seems to be my only option so I have given the green light for this.

   Sorry, being brief didn't seem to work out very well. But here are my questions:

    1. Will filing a motion to compel be of any benefit since technically mother has not yet withheld the children?

    2. Will it look bad in court if I go ahead and purchase one-way tickets, since mother is not cooperating on transportation?
       2a. I know that I am following the letter of the order by doing so, but will it look unreasonable on my part or should I give mother yet more time to work out the financial details?

    3. Does Mother actually have any legal grounds to litigate given that she refuses to mediate?
      3a. Will it make a diffences that she waited to the proverbial last minute to even request a change?

   4. Can you polish up your crystal ball and give any hints on how this might play out in court?
    4a. Barring that, can you think of anything else I can/should do or anything else I can file to help ensure I get my time with my children?

I know this issue is nothing compared to what a lot of people are dealing with. But to me it is huge, since it might mean missing out on time with my children. Thank you in advance for any assistance you can provide.

   

[socrateaser]

>here are my questions:
>
>    1. Will filing a motion to compel be of any benefit since
>technically mother has not yet withheld the children?

It's a motion for enforcement, a motion to compel is for production of documents/discovery -- but, it could help reinforce in the other parent's mind that she has a duty to follow the orders or she will be found in contempt.

If this issue were to go to court, the judge will probably allow the week for dance class and simply shorten dad's time, but not permit mom's newly hatched permanent mod. I would simply tell the other attorney that if the child asks dad personally to have the extra week, that dad will agree, but that no permanent mod will be made, and if there's been an unnecessary cost due to already made travel plans, which must be altered based on this new agreement, that mom should reasonably have to pay the cost difference, because she is the person who is creating the extra costs.

>
>    2. Will it look bad in court if I go ahead and purchase
>one-way tickets, since mother is not cooperating on
>transportation?

In the absence of a court order modifying the current parenting plan, you should be doing exactly what you would be doing in any other year, and if the other parent creates a problem, then it should be her problem to reimburse or purchase other tickets -- not yours.

>       2a. I know that I am following the letter of the order
>by doing so, but will it look unreasonable on my part or
>should I give mother yet more time to work out the financial
>details?

Whatever your orders are, you should follow them until some other orders are in place.

>
>    3. Does Mother actually have any legal grounds to litigate
>given that she refuses to mediate?

No, unless she files a motion to waive mediation and is granted a waiver -- otherwise, refusing to mediate is contempt.

>      3a. Will it make a diffences that she waited to the
>proverbial last minute to even request a change?

It's a fact that weighs on the issue of good faith and cooperation, and probably is to your benefit.

>   4. Can you polish up your crystal ball and give any hints
>on how this might play out in court?

Already did -- see #1, above.

>    4a. Barring that, can you think of anything else I
>can/should do or anything else I can file to help ensure I get
>my time with my children?

Stay away from masked men with bulky jackets.