On taking child to psychologist

[DecentDad]

Soc,

Okay, we now have a psychologist selected for the "suicidal" child (who still acts normally in my care).

Orders state that "parents shall alternate transporting child to sessions, and (dad) is to take child to the first session."

Biomom has scheduled the first session to occur during her custodial time.

She has advised in email that I can pick up child 30 minutes prior to appointment (i.e., just enough drive-time) and that she will pick up child at the appointment so child doesn't miss a birthday party (i.e., "suicidal" child is having first psych session, and biomom then takes her to an alleged b-day party that begins 30 minutes later).

It had been my hope that psychologist would be able to see child after being in each parent's care at least 2-3 hours before the sessions, and that the parent doing the transportation would likewise return child.

But, biomom always finds the loopholes in orders.  The orders state parents alternate transporting "TO" the sessions, with anyone's guess as to what the court wants with regard to transportation "FROM" the appointments.  We can assume the obvious, but orders don't state it.

I view this as an attempt for biomom to control the situation, program the child beforehand until last minute, prevent child from settling into my care, and then tell child, "I'll be waiting for you when you get out" (i.e., more pressure).

I've already suggested to the court that biomom puts pressure on child to say untrue things about me, as child as reported such to me and I unequivocably know per other people's hearsay testimony about what child says that is untrue about her experiences in my home.

1.  Is it reasonable of me to find it in child's best interest to let psychologist see child after at least 2-3 hours of time in each parent's care, to truly assess any differences (i.e., that would indicate the intent of why judge ordered that parents alternate taking child!)?

2.  Is it reasonable of me to say it can potentially confound psychologist's assessment if child knows the other parent will be picking her up immediately at end of session?

3.  Finally, my next custodial time is 2 days after the appointment biomom scheduled.  Is it reasonable of me (given that we're already 12 days after the alleged suicide threat) to suggest that if biomom can't agree to put child in my care 2-3 hours before the appt and let me transport child to b-day party (at which point biomom can meet child); then I will schedule the appt 2 days later during my own custodial time (duration of 5 hours)?

4.  Other thoughts?

Thanks,
DD

[socrateaser]

>1.  Is it reasonable of me to find it in child's best interest
>to let psychologist see child after at least 2-3 hours of time
>in each parent's care, to truly assess any differences (i.e.,
>that would indicate the intent of why judge ordered that
>parents alternate taking child!)?

Reasonable, yes, but you appear to be trying to program the child, just as the other parent is doing; it's just that your programming is passive rather than aggressive. I would write your concern to both the psychologist and the GAL, and then let them deal with it.

>
>2.  Is it reasonable of me to say it can potentially confound
>psychologist's assessment if child knows the other parent will
>be picking her up immediately at end of session?

I think you're trying to be a psychologist. Stop. Tell the shrink your concerns and let him/her be the professional.

>3.  Finally, my next custodial time is 2 days after the
>appointment biomom scheduled.  Is it reasonable of me (given
>that we're already 12 days after the alleged suicide threat)
>to suggest that if biomom can't agree to put child in my care
>2-3 hours before the appt and let me transport child to b-day
>party (at which point biomom can meet child); then I will
>schedule the appt 2 days later during my own custodial time
>(duration of 5 hours)?

You have joint custody, so if you want to change the appointment, you can do it.

>
>4.  Other thoughts?

Your use of the word "suicidal" in quotes above indicates a fair amount of hostility over the situation. You need to back off, because the kid and the professionals will "feel" your heat, and it will adversely affect the outcome of the case. Don't let the mother get to you, just let her sink her own ship.

Chant: "It's just business," for 15 minutes while drinking a margarita.

[DecentDad]

if she has any concerns about not getting child's true "sense" of being in my care with what biomom proposes.