Hair Question

[spangle1033]

Hi Soc :-)

OK, this question is not nearly as important as your others, but I wanted a legal p.o.v.

CP has sole legal and physical custody, NCP has visitation.  Both reside in GA.

Daughter of CP and NCP cut her hair at school last week on a dare.  She now has a hacked off section of hair in the front.  CP refuses to "fix" or "straighten" the hair and it looks terrible.

NCP would like to take daughter to have hair fixed since she (daughter) says children at school are making fun of her.

There is no wording in the paperwork that NCP cannot have daughter's hair cut.  Only that CP will make decisions concerning medical care and schooling.

1.  As the NCP, and with CP having sole legal and physical custody, does NCP have the right to have daughter's hair cut correctly at a beauty shop?

2.  What are the repercussions if the answer to #1 is "No" and NCP does it anyway (daughter is very upset at jokes being made about hair)?

Thanks!

[socrateaser]

>1.  As the NCP, and with CP having sole legal and physical
>custody, does NCP have the right to have daughter's hair cut
>correctly at a beauty shop?

Does the child want her hair fixed? If so, I'd record the conversation with the child and the hair stylist, so that you can produce it in court to demonstrate that you were acting in urgent circumstances the child's best interests after the CP refused to do so. Make sure that the child states that she wants the haircutt and that she's being belittled in school because of her present circumstances.

Legally, the NCP doesn't have the right to have the child's hair cut, but the court will not find a contempt because you are not consciously disregarding the court's orders -- you're trying to make certain that the other parent follows them, by acting in the child's best interests.

>
>2.  What are the repercussions if the answer to #1 is "No" and
>NCP does it anyway (daughter is very upset at jokes being made
>about hair)?

See above.

[notnew]

I am in the same situation. NCP with CO having sole legal and physical (big mistake on my part - I agreed to that - not court ordered. I thought treatment of my child would get better if mother felt like she "won" - WRONG).

CP has NEVER gotten child's hair cut (girl). My mother and sister took her for several years (when CP was getting along with them becuase they were believing her lies and not talking to me). Now, they have come to reality and have a relationship with me so CP has cut them out.

Last year, my wife and child both went together to get hair cut after child asked several times to get it cut. It was not a major change, just a little trim and layering. Looked real nice.

Didn't hear a word about it for about a month or so. Then when I called CP to find out why our child was missing so much school (over 5 days in September 2005 alone), CP started griping about the hair cut. I refused to fall for that and said I called you to discuss something important, not a trivial matter like a hair cut.

Now it's May 2006 and guess what? Last hair cut child received was the one my wife paid for. Child's hair is in need of a trim, but we are just waiting it out since we are in court for modiciation of custody hearing on school issue next month.

Soc is right. Do what you can to cover yourself in advance, but don't sweat it. The kid needs it and you are willing to do it. It is a shame when we do things for our kids becuse we love them but it ends up covering the neglectful actions of the CP's. We get torn between should we or shouldnt' we?  It is a choice no parent should EVER be forced to make.

Good luck!