custody modification

[marcuswelby]

Hello

Facts:

Current joint custody case in Maryland agreed to in 2002
Original agreement says 3 kids live with dad and visit me EOW + one weeknight
I was required to pay child support, but he told me not to worry about it
Agreement required me to live in the same school district.
12 year old daughter moved in with me two months ago.  She hates her father and is refusing to visit him for the most part
I was served last with with a petition for sole custody by their dad

Questions

1)I moved across the state line in 2002.  Can he enforce this part of the custody agreement years later or has he already agreed to let me move by not saying anything for four years?

2)He told me I didn't have to pay child support to him for the last three years.  Now he filed for arrears for the entire time.  Will a judge allow him to do this years later?

3)My daughter does not want to live with him or even see him any more.  He has damaged their relationship by being a control freak.   Do I have to force her to go see him when she doesn't want to?

4)The original custody agreement says the kids have to stay in their current school district.  He filed contempt because my oldest is now in my school district.  But he helped her move out here and verbally agreed to this.  How can he file contempt now?

5)I want the court to hear my daughter's voice in this matter.  How can I get the judge to consider that she needs her mother right now?

6)What information will I have to provide to show the judge that my daughter is better off with me?  

7)  He wants to change from 50/50 custody to sole custody for all the kids and not just the oldest.  That will leave me with a lot less visitation with the two that live with him and want to stay with him.  I think he's just doing that to avoid having to pay me child support.  Will the courts consider changing custody of the other two when there is no real change in circumstances for them?

Thanks you.

[socrateaser]

>Questions
>
>1)I moved across the state line in 2002.  Can he enforce this
>part of the custody agreement years later or has he already
>agreed to let me move by not saying anything for four years?

Your agreement required that the child live in the school district. The court cannot restrain your personal liberty to move by court order except as punishment for a crime. Even if your agreement specified that you couldn't move, it's probably unenforceable/unconstitutional.

Nevertheless, the child cannot be removed from the school district, so if she's living with you and you haven't returned her or filed for a custody mod, then legally, you're in contempt of court.

Having said this, the court will not likely punish you on this issue -- it will just order an evaluation of the 12 year old and both parents and then make a new custody order, or enforce the old one.

However, in the meantime, you will either need a temporary custody order giving you the right to retain daily custody of the child, or you will have to return the child to the other parent.

>
>2)He told me I didn't have to pay child support to him for the
>last three years.  Now he filed for arrears for the entire
>time.  Will a judge allow him to do this years later?

The judge will have little choice. You were court ordered to pay support, and no agreement of the parents can abrogate that order, because the support is for the child, not for the other parent.

So, yes, I'd say you have a pretty nasty little problem here.

>
>3)My daughter does not want to live with him or even see him
>any more.  He has damaged their relationship by being a
>control freak.   Do I have to force her to go see him when she
>doesn't want to?

See above.

>
>4)The original custody agreement says the kids have to stay in
>their current school district.  He filed contempt because my
>oldest is now in my school district.  But he helped her move
>out here and verbally agreed to this.  How can he file
>contempt now?

I don't think he will get a contempt on this issue, if you can show that you were only doing what he wanted, i.e., he delegated his custodial authority to you by moving the child into your care, so you weren't wilfully disregarding the court order, you were merely acting on the request of the other parent.

However, the above argument cannot be used to avoid your child support arrears, because the other parent has no authority to terminate the child's right to support without a court order.

>5)I want the court to hear my daughter's voice in this matter.
> How can I get the judge to consider that she needs her mother
>right now?

Take the child to a therapist to be evaluated as to the child's mental state. You can also bring the child to court with you, but I wouldn't unless the child is extremely mature and competent to speak about her wishes. Court frown heavily on kids being brought into the war zone, which is why it's better to have a therapist evaluate the child and then report to the court.

>
>6)What information will I have to provide to show the judge
>that my daughter is better off with me?  

You must show that there has been a clear and convincing change in circumstacnes affecting the child's best interests. If you have proof that the other parent moved the child to you, and that the child didn't run away, then that would do it. It may be that the other parent has admitted that the child was allowed to voluntarily move as part of his motion for sole custody. If so, then you're golden. If not, you'll need something more. The fact that two months have passed before the father did anything to get the child back is evidence in your favor that he wasn't particularly alarmed by the situation.

>
>7)  He wants to change from 50/50 custody to sole custody for
>all the kids and not just the oldest.  That will leave me with
>a lot less visitation with the two that live with him and want
>to stay with him.  I think he's just doing that to avoid
>having to pay me child support.  Will the courts consider
>changing custody of the other two when there is no real change
>in circumstances for them?

You're probably correct, but I doubt that the court will make any changes unless it finds that theres a problem with the father with respect to the 12 year old. If so, then you may have a case to modify custody for all the kids.

You're not gonna be able to fight this without an attorney. The fact that you haven't been paying support suggests that you aren't very responsible with regards to the children's needs -- at least that's how the court will probably view the situation.