Want to see my sons

[Gma]

Last year in May my wife assaulted me and then had me arrested on domestic violence when I grabbed and held her to make her stop hitting me.  
She then got a PO from the court and when I waved to her in the grocery store parking lot she had me arrested again.  While I was in jail she left Wyoming with my children
I now live in Michigan and just recently located her and my children in N. Carolina.
I would like to see my sons but she says not without a court order.  So far nothing has been done with the court.

1. Do I need something from the courts to allow me to see my sons?

[socrateaser]

>Last year in May my wife assaulted me and then had me
>arrested on domestic violence when I grabbed and held her to
>make her stop hitting me.  
>She then got a PO from the court and when I waved to her in
>the grocery store parking lot she had me arrested again.
>While I was in jail she left Wyoming with my children
>I now live in Michigan and just recently located her and my
>children in N. Carolina.
>I would like to see my sons but she says not without a court
>order.  So far nothing has been done with the court.
>
>1. Do I need something from the courts to allow me to see my
>sons?

My response assumes that: (1) you are not divorced; (2) mother and child have resided in NC for more than 6 months.

You must petition the NC court for a custody/visitation order, and the issue will be decided in NC under NC law.

If you want me to address the divorce and child support issues, then I need to know if you're divorced and/or if you're paying support.
 

[Gma]

1. We are not divorced
2. Yes for more than 6 months

I am not financially able to hire an attorney in NC
I have a friend who is a MI attorney willing to help me  file for divorce here in MI.
I could not pay child support when I did not know where they were.
I earn 1200.00 per month and I see where the amount for two children is nearly 400.00.  I would not have enough left over to live on.

1.  What are my options, other than hiring an attorney, that I can use to file for visitation in NC?
2.  How can my wife deny me the opportunity to see my sons if there is no existing court order stating I can not?
3.  Will my MI divorce with visitation need to be filed in NC also?
4.  How can a child support amount be set that allows me to continue to survive?


Thanks

[socrateaser]

>1. We are not divorced
>2. Yes for more than 6 months
>
>I am not financially able to hire an attorney in NC
>I have a friend who is a MI attorney willing to help me  file
>for divorce here in MI.
>I could not pay child support when I did not know where they
>were.
>I earn 1200.00 per month and I see where the amount for two
>children is nearly 400.00.  I would not have enough left over
>to live on.
>
>1.  What are my options, other than hiring an attorney, that I
>can use to file for visitation in NC?

You are entitled to file a petition for custody yourself in NC, but without an attorney, you'll never get it right. Try the legal aid society or the NC Bar Association. Maybe you can get a lawyer willing to help for free or nominal cost.

>2.  How can my wife deny me the opportunity to see my sons if
>there is no existing court order stating I can not?

I thought that there is a PO. If it's lapsed, and you're still married, then there is nothing that she can do to stop you. In fact, you could go down there, pick the kids up and drive/fly them back to MI and no one could stop you. That is, unless there's a local NC statute that prohibits this among married persons who have been estranged for some period of time. Check with an NC attorney -- I could research the answer but I don't have time.

Although, if you did the above, and then filed for divorce and custody in MI, the court would probably refuse jurisdiction and tell you to go back to NC, on grounds that your conduct was inequitable (legally unfair).

>3.  Will my MI divorce with visitation need to be filed in NC
>also?

You can file for divorce where you live, but in order to obtain the divorce you need to bind your ex to MI jurisdiction. She can do so inadvertantly, but if she has an attorney, he/she will challenge MI's right to assert jurisdiction, and the case will likely be dismissed for every issue except the bare divorce decree. In other words, if you try to do this in MI, you will probably end up with being divorced, but still have child support, spousal support, property division, or custody/visitation legally undetermined.

>4.  How can a child support amount be set that allows me to
>continue to survive?

Some state guidelines have low income adjustment rules for obligor parents. But, everyone is presumed able to earn minimum wage at 40 hrs. per week, so there is no getting out of paying support, unless you want to sit in jail or run off to Mexico.

[Gma]

Last year in May my wife assaulted me and then had me arrested on domestic violence when I grabbed and held her to make her stop hitting me.  
She then got a PO from the court and when I waved to her in the grocery store parking lot she had me arrested again.  While I was in jail she left Wyoming with my children
I now live in Michigan and just recently located her and my children in N. Carolina.
I would like to see my sons but she says not without a court order.  So far nothing has been done with the court.

1. Do I need something from the courts to allow me to see my sons?

[socrateaser]

>Last year in May my wife assaulted me and then had me
>arrested on domestic violence when I grabbed and held her to
>make her stop hitting me.  
>She then got a PO from the court and when I waved to her in
>the grocery store parking lot she had me arrested again.
>While I was in jail she left Wyoming with my children
>I now live in Michigan and just recently located her and my
>children in N. Carolina.
>I would like to see my sons but she says not without a court
>order.  So far nothing has been done with the court.
>
>1. Do I need something from the courts to allow me to see my
>sons?

My response assumes that: (1) you are not divorced; (2) mother and child have resided in NC for more than 6 months.

You must petition the NC court for a custody/visitation order, and the issue will be decided in NC under NC law.

If you want me to address the divorce and child support issues, then I need to know if you're divorced and/or if you're paying support.
 

[Gma]

1. We are not divorced
2. Yes for more than 6 months

I am not financially able to hire an attorney in NC
I have a friend who is a MI attorney willing to help me  file for divorce here in MI.
I could not pay child support when I did not know where they were.
I earn 1200.00 per month and I see where the amount for two children is nearly 400.00.  I would not have enough left over to live on.

1.  What are my options, other than hiring an attorney, that I can use to file for visitation in NC?
2.  How can my wife deny me the opportunity to see my sons if there is no existing court order stating I can not?
3.  Will my MI divorce with visitation need to be filed in NC also?
4.  How can a child support amount be set that allows me to continue to survive?


Thanks

[socrateaser]

>1. We are not divorced
>2. Yes for more than 6 months
>
>I am not financially able to hire an attorney in NC
>I have a friend who is a MI attorney willing to help me  file
>for divorce here in MI.
>I could not pay child support when I did not know where they
>were.
>I earn 1200.00 per month and I see where the amount for two
>children is nearly 400.00.  I would not have enough left over
>to live on.
>
>1.  What are my options, other than hiring an attorney, that I
>can use to file for visitation in NC?

You are entitled to file a petition for custody yourself in NC, but without an attorney, you'll never get it right. Try the legal aid society or the NC Bar Association. Maybe you can get a lawyer willing to help for free or nominal cost.

>2.  How can my wife deny me the opportunity to see my sons if
>there is no existing court order stating I can not?

I thought that there is a PO. If it's lapsed, and you're still married, then there is nothing that she can do to stop you. In fact, you could go down there, pick the kids up and drive/fly them back to MI and no one could stop you. That is, unless there's a local NC statute that prohibits this among married persons who have been estranged for some period of time. Check with an NC attorney -- I could research the answer but I don't have time.

Although, if you did the above, and then filed for divorce and custody in MI, the court would probably refuse jurisdiction and tell you to go back to NC, on grounds that your conduct was inequitable (legally unfair).

>3.  Will my MI divorce with visitation need to be filed in NC
>also?

You can file for divorce where you live, but in order to obtain the divorce you need to bind your ex to MI jurisdiction. She can do so inadvertantly, but if she has an attorney, he/she will challenge MI's right to assert jurisdiction, and the case will likely be dismissed for every issue except the bare divorce decree. In other words, if you try to do this in MI, you will probably end up with being divorced, but still have child support, spousal support, property division, or custody/visitation legally undetermined.

>4.  How can a child support amount be set that allows me to
>continue to survive?

Some state guidelines have low income adjustment rules for obligor parents. But, everyone is presumed able to earn minimum wage at 40 hrs. per week, so there is no getting out of paying support, unless you want to sit in jail or run off to Mexico.